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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

462 replies

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:38

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

  1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
  2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
  3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

OP posts:
theonlygirl · 07/10/2025 13:21

Ask the police via 101 for a welfare check OP. Its just showing concern for a neighbour's well being, you dont need to share your theories about what may have happened. If something isn't right, the police will act or if they are struggling and need help the police will refer to adult social care. And if all is well, no harm done.

ChicTealCat · 07/10/2025 13:21

As I have got older ( and older!) I have come to the realisation that gut instincts should not be ignored. Contact the police. At the end of the day, there is no harm done but if you ignore it there may be.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 07/10/2025 13:22

AutumnMorning · 07/10/2025 13:09

The thread title is literally 'To think maybe my NDN is a murderer'

Actually yeah, you can have that one 😳😆.

Fabulously · 07/10/2025 13:27

To be honest if they are an Indian family then aspects of what you have explained could be cultural differences ie the women not speaking much to strangers, or not going out without family, or them all living together as older adults.

Anyway, most of your post comes across as rambling about irrelevant things/curtain twitching and resentment - I’m not sure if the police need all that. I wouldn’t say there’s particularly strong evidence indicating harm, the brothers are probably in their 50s/60s given your timeline. It’s possible one faced ill health and has told his brother to pull his weight and do the gardening/shopping etc whilst he stays home.

ERthree · 07/10/2025 13:31

I think yo have done the right thing in calling the Police. If "Gentle" has moved out then no harm done, if he has come to harm then hopefully he will be found.

Blueblell · 07/10/2025 13:35

Well he might not have murdered the brother but the family does sound vulnerable so a welfare check would be worthwhile anyway.

Annettefromthenewsagents · 07/10/2025 13:39

You really have spent too much time thinking about these people and the intricacies of their lives. You have no idea what any of them have or are going through.

AutumnMorning · 07/10/2025 13:39

Fabulously · 07/10/2025 13:27

To be honest if they are an Indian family then aspects of what you have explained could be cultural differences ie the women not speaking much to strangers, or not going out without family, or them all living together as older adults.

Anyway, most of your post comes across as rambling about irrelevant things/curtain twitching and resentment - I’m not sure if the police need all that. I wouldn’t say there’s particularly strong evidence indicating harm, the brothers are probably in their 50s/60s given your timeline. It’s possible one faced ill health and has told his brother to pull his weight and do the gardening/shopping etc whilst he stays home.

Exactly this 💯

Pantheon · 07/10/2025 13:41

I don't know OP but please make this into a novel

Annettefromthenewsagents · 07/10/2025 13:42

MotherJessAndKittens · 07/10/2025 11:37

You could have asked him or the sister if the brother had moved out. It sounds like Hulk has learning difficulties to me but what a strange family.

What a WILD idea to speak to your neighbours instead of concocting a true crime fantasy because you’ve got too much time on your hands. WILD. 🤪

lolarocco · 07/10/2025 13:43

why don't you order a copy of Gentle's death certificate online and see what his cause and date of death are?

Aluna · 07/10/2025 13:43

Fabulously · 07/10/2025 13:27

To be honest if they are an Indian family then aspects of what you have explained could be cultural differences ie the women not speaking much to strangers, or not going out without family, or them all living together as older adults.

Anyway, most of your post comes across as rambling about irrelevant things/curtain twitching and resentment - I’m not sure if the police need all that. I wouldn’t say there’s particularly strong evidence indicating harm, the brothers are probably in their 50s/60s given your timeline. It’s possible one faced ill health and has told his brother to pull his weight and do the gardening/shopping etc whilst he stays home.

I came to say exactly this.

All this “they’re so weird” reads distastefully in that context.

DramaLlamacchiato · 07/10/2025 13:51

Hmm it does seem unlikely but stranger things have happened I suppose.

MoodyMargaret11 · 07/10/2025 13:54

I dont understand though, when you say they "only ever went out to the shop or launderette", how could you possibly know for sure?
You might have seen them out with laundry and shopping bags, but no way you'd know where else they might have gone, unless you've been surveilling them 24/7.
I agree though, they do sound very odd and 'Hulk' also very creepy.
I hope you've managed to ring the police, please update what they've said. Also might be worth having a chat with the other neighbors if you're friendly with them.

Daygloboo · 07/10/2025 14:02

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:38

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

  1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
  2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
  3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

Definitely a weird family. I'd be careful. You dont want to tip him off that you are suspicious. If you tell the police snd they go round but do nothing then it could be worse because he will know. There must be some way of finding out if a person has been registered as dead. It's probably just that gentle has moved away. Try and find out uf gentle has been registered dead and then maybe speak to social services confidentially and ask for advice.

GustavMunchkin · 07/10/2025 14:04

Why am I the only one saying Gentle could simply have moved out?? Unless the OP is permanently watching their every move how would she/he even know??

AutumnMorning · 07/10/2025 14:06

GustavMunchkin · 07/10/2025 14:04

Why am I the only one saying Gentle could simply have moved out?? Unless the OP is permanently watching their every move how would she/he even know??

You're not alone i totally agree with you!

Daygloboo · 07/10/2025 14:06

It could also be that gentle is ill.ans that they are trying to manage it themselves in which case SS should.probably ge involved anyway.

Clarabell77 · 07/10/2025 14:10

CuckooPond · 07/10/2025 10:56

So you think Hulk and his sister murdered their brother and buried his body in concrete under a shed? Or have imprisoned him in the shed?

Stranger things have happened!

WeeGeeBored · 07/10/2025 14:15

randomchap · 07/10/2025 10:49

Essentially, a neighbour has not been seen for a while but his brother still lives in the house?

A welfare check might be in order

When did you last see gentle?

Welfare check is a good idea.

freakingscared · 07/10/2025 14:18

Can I ask if it might be cultural ? Are they from another culture ? Or were they disabled ? 4 adjust living at home with the parents seem weird . How old were the parents ? All dying so suddenly seems weird .
personally I would report it. Or are they a different ethnicity and you are worried about that ?

Gagamama2 · 07/10/2025 14:18

I need to know how this pans out!! Although I agree with others saying the whole family sounds ND and that might be why they come across as socially odd

Sugargliderwombat · 07/10/2025 14:22

I feel like I've read the synopsis of a book I now REALLY want to read, if nothing happens can you just make up an exciting ending please?

Frankblackwife · 07/10/2025 14:23

I'd say something

Frankblackwife · 07/10/2025 14:25

I mean Dennis nilsen lived in a flat and he killed like 16 ppl