Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

462 replies

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:38

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

  1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
  2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
  3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

OP posts:
Redshoeblueshoe · 07/10/2025 11:13

Agree with welfare check

Mymanyellow · 07/10/2025 11:14

A welfare check can’t hurt. Might get them help somehow, if he hasn’t killed his brother and buried him in the garden obviously, sounds like there is some ND or mental health issues going on.

EvolvedAlready · 07/10/2025 11:18

Sounds suss! Welfare check and don’t ask them.

SerafinasGoose · 07/10/2025 11:20

This sounds suspiciously like that old video game 'Hello Neighbour!'

nee22 · 07/10/2025 11:20

I would suggest welfare check

Bigcat25 · 07/10/2025 11:24

Any chance gentle had a job? Just wondering if he would have moved out.

ToTheStarsToTheSea · 07/10/2025 11:24

Yikes, I definitely think it's possible.

strawberry12345 · 07/10/2025 11:24

Can you search for a death certificate online?

MyKindHiker · 07/10/2025 11:28

I was on the fence until 3 sheds in a concreted over garden. I’ve also watched too many horror films but yes I’d definitely say welfare check.

SilkiePenguin · 07/10/2025 11:28

It sounds like both the brothers could be ND and the sister if she's not speaking. It could be gentle has gone into supported living, suicide or become reclusive but it would be good to know. ND can get fixated on sheds and do act differently.

NearlyChocLogTime · 07/10/2025 11:30

I doubt the police will do anything.
This is not a 'missing person' it's a neighbour who she's not seen for a while.

MotherJessAndKittens · 07/10/2025 11:37

You could have asked him or the sister if the brother had moved out. It sounds like Hulk has learning difficulties to me but what a strange family.

SeriaMau · 07/10/2025 11:37

This will be a thread with endless hypotheses, and OP will then go silent so we never find out. Expectations managed already.

sofaRunner · 07/10/2025 11:37

Bottleplant · 07/10/2025 10:46

If you mean this, report it. It will be easy enough for the police to establish if he's still alive. Isn't it most likely that he finally moved out of his childhood home though?

agree - if you really mean it then it should be reported. The police can do a welfare check

sofaRunner · 07/10/2025 11:38

SeriaMau · 07/10/2025 11:37

This will be a thread with endless hypotheses, and OP will then go silent so we never find out. Expectations managed already.

this!

zipadeedodah · 07/10/2025 11:39

He definately sounds like a murderer to me, i'd have to move, no way would I feel safe living next to them.

Sunflowerlanyard · 07/10/2025 11:40

SeriaMau · 07/10/2025 11:37

This will be a thread with endless hypotheses, and OP will then go silent so we never find out. Expectations managed already.

Yep just like the other couple of “ I haven’t seen my neighbours in ages” posts we have atm.

SilkiePenguin · 07/10/2025 11:40

I would not assume Hulk would mention anything about Gentle if ND. Maybe if you asked directly he or his sister could say but sounds like sister is selective mute. Adult social care is voluntary. Do you think they would be registered with your GP? You can report concerns via them as well I think even if not registered.

Zanatdy · 07/10/2025 11:41

Report it. You could be uncovering the next Fred West.

LoveWine123 · 07/10/2025 11:43

How interesting! I'll wait for the Netflix movie to come out!

Balloonhearts · 07/10/2025 11:43

I would just ask Hulk and sister when I see them together. How's your brother doing, haven't seen him about for ages.

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 11:43

SeriaMau · 07/10/2025 11:37

This will be a thread with endless hypotheses, and OP will then go silent so we never find out. Expectations managed already.

Well I've decided to call the police and ask for a welfare check, and if i see anyone show up, I'll update this thread, but apart from that, I don't think I'd find anything out. Unless it really was something horrible, in which case absolutely I'd come back and update again.

OP posts:
Weightlo55 · 07/10/2025 11:45

HeyThereDelila · 07/10/2025 11:05

Don’t ask where he is; if they have done away with him that would tip them off.

Call the police and say you’re worried about a missing neighbour; ask if they can help locate him. Do it anon if you need to.

This. Asking and then the police turn up. That could cause trouble for you. Just tell the police your concerns.

RavenFinch · 07/10/2025 11:45

NearlyChocLogTime · 07/10/2025 11:30

I doubt the police will do anything.
This is not a 'missing person' it's a neighbour who she's not seen for a while.

No, it is a missing person if the police cannot establish that the adult Gentle is still alive.

This is what the police would do:

  1. call at the house and ask Hulk and sister when they last saw Gentle / why has Gentle gone away
  2. Speak to other neighbours in the road and possibly also a few shop keepers
  3. They will ask Hulk (and sister) for evidence that Gentle is alive - mobile phone number and bank statements

After the house visit the police would then:
(a) check cell phone location data if the mobile phone to track where last used (if its buried in the garden under the shed this will start to ring alarm bells with the police)
(b) check the online banking history and any recent cash withdrawals of Gentle

If the evidence from (a) and (b) suggest that Gentle has not been alive / used his phone / done any banking for several days ...... they will re visit the house, interview Hulk and sister as persons of interest, and start to dug the garden.

I realise that the first visit (1) of the police to the house to ask Hulk and Sister where is Gentle, will alert Hulk to the fact that the police (and neighbours) have twigged what's going on ....... however, this is the way it has to be done with the first visit being a friendly approach by the police - in case there is a completely innocent explanation that none of the neighbours is aware of.

If after the first visit to the house, Hulk tries to cover his tracks / move the body / digs up the shed ...... this will alert the neighbours and Hulk is very unlikely to be able to remove all the evidence / fully cover his tracks.

^ at that point the police will snap into action and arrest Hulk.

Absentosaur · 07/10/2025 11:46

So in sum. 16yrs ago, a family of 6 adults came to live in the house, 2 parents older, 4 adult children. Of the 6, only 2 remain (that’s a significant loss rate).

There are 2 or 3 sheds in the back yard. Of the 2 remaining adults one is a woman who doesn’t talk to you or go out unless accompanied by her bulky brother. Bulky brother is unfriendly and appears shifty.

Does their back yard / garden smell? Has he spent much time in the sheds? Has there been concreting going on? Do they look like the kids in deliverance?