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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about my neighbours?

389 replies

Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 22:57

My neighbours are a young couple with a toddler. I normally seem them but I haven’t for 3 days now. All their lights and curtains hahe been drawn but their cars are still on the drive and haven’t moved. Or am I over thinking? It just seems a bit unusual. We are rural and you can’t really get to anywhere without a car, not even local shop. Also they’re not abroad or anything, as I actually spoke to the lady neighbour the other day and she said someone from the council was meant to be coming round

OP posts:
HellsBells13 · 07/10/2025 06:44

Could you call the Police and explain. They could do a welfare check. It's good of you to care

JennyWrenSeven · 07/10/2025 06:50

Agree with others and check tomorrow. Hope all is ok.

JennyWrenSeven · 07/10/2025 06:50

Today rather!

Twonewcats · 07/10/2025 06:51

Definitely check on them 💜

ForNoisyCat · 07/10/2025 06:56

Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 22:57

My neighbours are a young couple with a toddler. I normally seem them but I haven’t for 3 days now. All their lights and curtains hahe been drawn but their cars are still on the drive and haven’t moved. Or am I over thinking? It just seems a bit unusual. We are rural and you can’t really get to anywhere without a car, not even local shop. Also they’re not abroad or anything, as I actually spoke to the lady neighbour the other day and she said someone from the council was meant to be coming round

I think you’re lovely to be concerned. You could ask other neighbours if they think these ones are away. If worried still, let your local police know if your concerns.

Dery · 07/10/2025 06:56

Another here to suggest you check on them and, if you’re still concerned, ask the police to do a welfare check. Observant neighbours saved my dad’s life earlier this year by raising the alarm when he stopped following his normal routine. The emergency services broke in and got him to hospital.

Lastchoice · 07/10/2025 07:00

God bless you. I wish we all had neighbours like you. Please check on them, I hope they are all ok

MoltenLasagne · 07/10/2025 07:01

I really hope its nothing OP, but I'd definitely knock this morning.

We had a colleague not turn up to work and she'd died of CO poisoning. That was my first thought when you mentioned the dog not barking too.

MrsDoubtfire1 · 07/10/2025 07:27

Perhaps they have just gone away for the weekend. Someone may have fetched them because they needed to get to a railway station or airport and didn't want to drive. By all means keep an eye out, but don't become the nosey neighbour. They will think you are a bit of a dippy old dear net curtain twitching. I would worry after about three weeks but certainly not before. For all you know, they may be somewhere really exciting and not evening thinking about you.

Sassylovesbooks · 07/10/2025 07:30

Try knocking. The most likely explanation is they've gone on holiday, and were picked up by someone else (taxi/relative), hence why the cars are still on the drive. Some people do close the curtains when they go away. My neighbour opposite never seems to open her's from one month to the next, regardless if she's there or not, they're always closed!!

ThePoshUns · 07/10/2025 07:40

Of course, knock! I’d have done so before starting a thread tbh.

Weezypopsy · 07/10/2025 07:40

Agree with others, I would knock. If I were then I would also appreciate the knock even if it turned out to be nothing!

Spanador · 07/10/2025 07:43

LadyGAgain · 06/10/2025 23:18

I think it’s lovely you’re raising a concern. Some of the earlier responses to your OP make me fear for humanity. Please go and knock the door. They may well have gone on holiday but you may find out more by going. Hope everything is ok.

Me too. We noticed exactly the same thing about our downstairs neighbour, his car hadn't moved for a few days which was really unusual for him and his curtains had been closed constantly. His front door was unlocked so my husband stuck his head in, and we found him dead on the floor. I dread to think how long he would have been there if we'd decided it just wasn't any of our business

Obviously not saying this is what has happened here, but if OP has noticed something out of the ordinary then it's nice to know that she cares

Happyjoe · 07/10/2025 07:43

It's great you care, for sure knock on the door. Being such a young family, hopefully they've just gone away and someone picked them up.

My neighbour (before monsters moved in) used to be a man in his mid 60's. I'd not seen him for a couple of days, normally saw him in the kitchen or in the garden. Asked around, nobody had seen him so phoned the police for a welfare check. He'd passed away upstairs. If it doesn't feel right, for sure knock.

DurinsBane · 07/10/2025 07:45

Another vote for holiday, got a taxi or a lift to airport. Dog in kennels

CharlotteLightandDark · 07/10/2025 07:47

wrong thread!

Okiedokie123 · 07/10/2025 07:48

I would knock on their door. Weird not too imho.

notacooldad · 07/10/2025 07:55

I think you've noticed unusual behaviour that doesn't sit right with you.
No one knows if somethings up or not.
I agree with the suggestion of knocking on and asking about a pretend parcel.

If you dint get an answer im not sure what to do next though.

BadgernTheGarden · 07/10/2025 07:55

Doubtful that knocking will do anything, if they are away they won't answer and if they are 'lost in the woods' they won't answer. Can you get round the back and see if you can see anything through those windows or if the back door isn't locked. If you are really worried the police is the way to go, but if they have just gone away for a few days it could be a little embarrassing if the police break in. I assume no note on the door for deliveries or anything?

Fairyvocals · 07/10/2025 07:56

I would absolutely knock. Much better to find they’re fine and think you’re over-reacting than not to check and regret it.

(Similar to a PP, a relative of mine and her daughter hadn’t been seen or heard from for a few days. My poor, teenage uncle went round to the house, got in through a window and found them dead in their beds, where they’d been killed by the husband/dad.)

smilingfanatic · 07/10/2025 07:57

Always check, and especially if there's a vulnerable person in the property:

www.theguardian.com/society/2024/jan/17/bronson-battersby-two-year-old-boy-died-of-starvation-curled-up-next-to-dead-father

Alwaysinamood · 07/10/2025 07:58

Shitmonger · 07/10/2025 00:09

I’d assume that they’re on holiday and got a ride to the airport so that they didn’t have to pay to park their car. It never hurts to knock, however!

I thought this too, and the dog is staying at a friends/ boarding

TheWonderhorse · 07/10/2025 08:01

Definitely knock! Why people are saying you're overreacting I don't know, what's the harm in checking?

FcukBreastCancer · 07/10/2025 08:02

I'd knock today

LakieLady · 07/10/2025 08:03

FoodYummyFood · 07/10/2025 00:16

Do people really care about closed curtains I only say this as someone who never opens my curtains and doesn't socialise with my neighbours... OP no harm knocking if someone knocked on my door I wouldn't be upset

My neighbour and I would, but we're both pretty old and live alone.

We also have keys to one another's houses, in case of emergencies.