To be concerned about my neighbours?

[Lynn981]

My neighbours are a young couple with a toddler. I normally seem them but I haven’t for 3 days now. All their lights and curtains hahe been drawn but their cars are still on the drive and haven’t moved. Or am I over thinking? It just seems a bit unusual. We are rural and you can’t really get to anywhere without a car, not even local shop. Also they’re not abroad or anything, as I actually spoke to the lady neighbour the other day and she said someone from the council was meant to be coming round

Do people really care about closed curtains I only say this as someone who never opens my curtains and doesn't socialise with my neighbours... OP no harm knocking if someone knocked on my door I wouldn't be upset

They could be unwell, Lynn, a virus or oomething. If this persists and you are concerned, write them a note and put through their letterbox just saying you hope they are OK and do they want anything. Put your phone number on it. The chances are there will be signs of life there by tomorrow but you never know.

Co poisening was my first thought too, did you knock today? Please update if you can and let us know all is well.

I would in the morning, but not at midnight.

You have reason to be concerned. I would go and knock right now. I understand English diffidence but they could be in dire straits. You don't have to make up some story about a missing parcel - just say you hadn't seen any movement or lights and were concerned.

Good luck with the knock.

Maybe they've gone away without the car..Or you could just knock on the door..

At certain times if the year - including now - we get dazzled on a sunny day so sometimes close the curtains for days. However we are out and about and live in an urban terrace so we'd be seen too.

I suppose if they have the lurgy, they might just be letting the dog out in to the garden rather than taking it out for walks. But I agree that it would be neighbourly to call round there in the morning. I hope all is well.

That does sound strange. I hope they're just away.

Omg did your dad have ptsd? How horrific.

I had offered to climb through the window as I was smaller but my dad said no. He told me later that he said no for that reason of not knowing what he would find. I'm very glad he didn't let me climb through the window. He never told what he saw or how he felt, other than that they were dead. But I subsequently found out the details. It was horrific.

My late father did not see his neighbour for two days. Her partner had murdered her. It was horrific just walking by that house after that. She lived for a few hours after the police went in, but he had cut her leg off, and the baby was there too, starving. If you are worried, knock, but there is zero sense in saying you will wait till morning. Either you are seriously worried or you are not.

They may be very sick/dying. In the latter, time counts.

When my dad contacted the police about not seeing his neighbour, the girl lived long enough to say who had done this to her, and why. It made a big difference in catching and sentencing the perpetrator as he was on his way out of the country. And many of the neighbours had seen the attacker going in there with his tools to do 'the job' but no one had thought twice about it, even though he forced a door.

If you are genuinely concerned, knock; sooner is better than later.
If no answer, call the Police.
It is better to be over protective sometimes, especially when heaters are bring turned on for the first time after warmer months. Maybe the council was coming to attend to a strange heater problem.

go and check. Last Christmas eve a friend messaged me to say she had messaged a mutual friend and no reply. I wasn’t concerned as I knew my friend was struggling with menopause and I also knew she wasn’t always keen on meeting up with mutual friend. Plus I was away. A few days later she messaged again, saying she still hadn’t replied. I checked facebook and saw she had been active that day so didn’t worry. When I got home I messaged friend as I needed her to take a delivery for me for my dog. When she didn’t reply I was a bit concerned and thought i’d pop over the next day. Next day I received a message from her phone from her DD, saying friend was in hospital and had some lesions on her brain. She had been found in a state of confusion, left alone for a few days. Sadly it was cancer spread to her brain and she died 2 months later as too late to treat. I’ll never forgive myself for not going round. It wouldn’t have made any difference to the outcome but I’m still so upset she was there alone with two dogs for a few days. Yes she has family (who eventually found her) but I still should have gone over. We all felt incredible guilt. And yes, don’t let the GP fob you off with the whole menopause excuse for any illness when you’re in your 50’s.

Different situation here but please go and knock. Just ask if they took a parcel in for you if you’re embarrassed but nothing wrong with being a concerned neighbour.

They've gone on holiday and the dog's in kennels.

They may have a ring doorbell and if they are on holiday, they may talk to you on that?

Weeks? DH's aunt broke her hip and couldn't get to the phone in her pocket to call for help. NDN noticed her newspapers weren't being taken in and called BIL. The police helped him get into the house.

They found her on the floor, unconscious. One of her cats lay dead on the floor beside her, and the other was near death. Aunt Coral died at the hospital shortly after she was rescued ON THE MORNING OF THE 4th DAY.

@Lynn981 It's kind of you to check on your neighbors. I hope you find them safe and sound.

I'd check too.Nowt to lose,more to gain.

Please do knock and check. We are forever grateful to the ‘nosey neighbour’ who called the police on a relative whose curtains hadn’t moved and light stayed on overnight. The behaviour was unusual, and the loved one had collapsed and died at home. Otherwise very fit & well. The police did a welfare check, couldn’t get an answer & phoned us to get a key before breaking in. It was terribly sad, but thanks to the neighbour they were found within 24hrs.

I think its perfectly acceptable you are concerned (sad some people can’t see that). Most likely illness and all are in bed (although you would think the light would be on for abit in the evening) or you’ve missed them going away.

As others have said, just make up an excuse to knock (have they taken in a parcel for you?).

Knock on first thing - probably fine to do this early on since they have a young child who would likely be up early

Nosy neighbours are a blessing in disguise! Had one call me at 10pm last winter. They had noticed my elderly mums front door had been slightly ajar for a few hours. Investigated and she wasn’t in the house, but her keys and handbag were. Mum had had a funny turn (reaction to pain meds, sent her a bit bonkers!) and took herself out for a wander at that time of night in the snow - with no coat as we discovered. Thankfully we were able to find her and she was none the worse.

They took a cab and went away to see one of their family members?
I dont think they need to tell the neighbourhood about every time they plan to leave the house. (I never tell anyone if we go away).
Hope it's nothing sinister, just holidays.

Some of these comments are awful. Caring about neighbours being a bad thing!
Just knock and if they answer ask if they've took in a parcel for you, perfectly good excuse to knock.

My neighbour always opened her bedroom curtains, I noticed they were shut one day.

I popped over to another neighbour who I knew had her son's number.
When he came later in the day, she was immobile because she'd had a stroke.
Had I not been that 'nosy neighbour' she would probably have died there because she had no regular visitors and her son only rang once a week.

Knock on, see if you get a reply.