To be concerned about my neighbours?

[Lynn981]

My neighbours are a young couple with a toddler. I normally seem them but I haven’t for 3 days now. All their lights and curtains hahe been drawn but their cars are still on the drive and haven’t moved. Or am I over thinking? It just seems a bit unusual. We are rural and you can’t really get to anywhere without a car, not even local shop. Also they’re not abroad or anything, as I actually spoke to the lady neighbour the other day and she said someone from the council was meant to be coming round

Can they away be on a holiday? Perhaps a friend or a taxi drove them to the train station/airport?

Have you knocked on their door?
Do you know their names?

If you are really worried about them, can you call the police and ask them to do a welfare check?

Are you sure they aren't on holiday OP?

You have good reason to be concerned aAnd the neighbourly thing is to knock on the door and if no reply, ask around to see if anyone knows where they are. Then if no luck, call the police.

It's quite late now and if they are there and all is well, they might be a bit annoyed at knocking at this time but I'd take the risk of that in these circumstances.

Dog would need to go out, they have a young child, very rural etc. Assume you haven't noticed a cab or another car coming to pick them up?

If they'd gone away, and you're so rural, would they have mentioned it as you say you chat, just to let you know if you see anything suspicious while house is empty?

Did they say what the council was coming for? Is it a council property? Hopefully nothing to do with boiler.

Just go over and if they don't answer, try and look through the windows to see if you can see anything like unwashed dishes which could mean they are still there, then call the police for a welfare check.

There's been a few cases of tragedies where kids have been left to starve when a parent has been incapacitated so I wouldn't leave it until tomorrow.

It could have been the way I read it to be fair! I think the fact that you've not seen them and they have a dog is odd to be honest - it's not like the dog can go without a walk for three days. I would definitely think that popping over tomorrow and giving them a knock would be completely reasonable and neighbourly in these circumstances. Do come back and let us know how it goes. And good on you for looking out for them.

Have I missed something? Why is the assumption not the standard ‘they’ve gone on holiday’. Unless you’re going to tell us you share every detail? I share an allotment with my next door neighbour. I still don’t tell them every time I go away for a few days. And we share a LOT.

I'd knock and make something up neighbourly if they answer. There's just been a big storm, Storm Amy - you could pretend you're enquiring after branches fallen on the boundary.

My neighbour knocked on the door on Saturday morning with this exact worry, so it's top of my mind as a legitimate neighbourly concern!!

Oh good Lord 🤦‍♀️

Agree it seems like a good idea to check on them. Hopefully it will all be fine but it's a nice neighbourly thing to do and sounds like you generally look out for each other. See if you can check the windows if they don't answer.

maybe they've been sick? But that wouldn't explain the lack of lights or any dog walks.

It's only been 3 days! Not 3 weeks!

CO poisoning crossed my mind, too. And it would explain the lack of sound from the dog.

Or she could just be honest and say I’m just checking in on you .. no need for lies and secrecy 🤷‍♀️

Yes but why wouldn't you knock on the door and then start a thread saying you're worried?

Bit pointless the other way around.

The OP doesn't need people to tell her to knock, if she's really worried she'll just do it anyway.

Oh gosh..

@LamonicBibber1 I have never heard them argue as such, maybe once or twice. I do hear her shouting at the toddler fairly often . Not overally shouting or screaming,just to tell her to stop doing something. But loud enough for me to hear

Let us know how you get on tomorrow OP. It’s good you’ve got your eye out for them - I hope they’re ok.

My first thought too, boilers being put on this time of year, hopefully just on an impromptu holiday

Many years ago (when I was a child) my mum hadn't seen our neighbour and her toddler for 3 days when she saw them every day. She was concerned. After knocking and no answer, eventually my dad decided to go through a window. My dad found her and her toddler dead with multiple stab wounds. Turns out her ex had killed them. Obviously I'm not saying it could be anything sinister, but it can be good to notice anything different.

Do you have a village WhatsApp or similar? Could you track down a phone number or a social media profile to send them a message?

Given they’ve mentioned before when they’ve gone away, it does seem odd.

I don’t think it’s strange that you are concerned op.
Yes they could be away but it would do no harm to check

I think it’s good to look out for people & I’d definitely be knocking (could easily pretend you’re trying to track down a delivery if you don’t actually want to admit to being worried). Hope it’s all fine when you check tomorrow.

Crikey, I wouldn’t leave it until tomorrow especially now you’d said they mention if they go away.

From what you’ve described, no one may have been able to get up and open curtains etc from the night you last saw them.

If they answer. you could just say you were going to bed and realised you hadn’t seen them for 3 days and couldn’t sleep for worrying if something had happened so you had to check.

I would be touched my neighbour was worrying in that situation.

Of course go round! The worst that can happen is that you'll look like a busybody but so what.
Hopefully they've gone on a break or maybe had to rush off to a family emergency, gone by taxi to an airport and closed their curtains for security. And the dog's in kennels. Who knows?

I'm in Ireland and I don't think people would be too hesitant to call round but it's a different culture of neighbourly nosiness concern here.

When awful things do happen, then folk queue up to condemn the neighbours for being callous uncaring bastards, so you can't win.

I hope they're all ok.

I’d assume that they’re on holiday and got a ride to the airport so that they didn’t have to pay to park their car. It never hurts to knock, however!

Sorry if you have but go round. I'd be honest and say thought you might all have the lurgy and wanted to see if you were ok and if you needed anything.
If no answer then ask others neighbours, try get a number.
Failing that and if you are REALLY worried with a small child contact 101 ask for a welfare check. Cite your concerns. They will and should be thankful they have caring neighbours & if things aren't great then you've got support for a young child which is always the right thing. Police get these calls all the time and will no speaking to you how they prioritise.
Defo speak to other neighbours but I wouldn't sit on it. Better to be a caring neighbour than something to have happened with a young child and you didn't act.

I never tell my neighbours when we are away but that’s just my own personal trust issues. If they have previously asked you to watch on the house and it was uneventful then yes I would be quite concerned!