Let partner’s ex know my address?

[newnameoctober]

My partner and his ex girlfriend split on not very good terms a couple of years ago. They have a young child who will be staying over for the first time this week at ours.
They were given equal responsibility (is that the right term?) by the courts but child lives with her and he has on a weekend since he works full time and she doesn’t work.
she’s never allowed him to know where they live (not a safeguarding issue I know for a fact, just because she likes to control), so he and his family members have always collected the child from a supermarket carpark.
she wants to bring the child over this weekend as she said she just can’t relax not knowing where they are. I thought what a nerve as my partner has never known where child lives!
the thing is I don’t want her coming to my house or knowing where we live either. Her new partner and my partner don’t get on for one, and I just want to keep some things private.
what should I do?

I agree, why on earth would she go out of way to hide when it’s so much work for her unless scared of him.
op have you done a Clare’s law on him?

He needs to step up and get a proper child agreement in place, stating overnights. If she wants to know where dc is then the agreement can list both addresses, yours and hers. I would suggest you agree to meet her (does supermarket have a cafe) most mums would like to meet the person who is spending time with their child as long as it goes both ways

I wonder if she is only allowing the child to stay over now she has a new partner.it sounds like they split she had the baby and your partner got straight with you.it all sounds like a mess up for the little one.

Double this.

Stop blaming his ex and take a look closer to home.

A ma who you’ve only been dating a year and seem to have decided he’s so righteous in all this. He hasn’t done anything to properly father his now 5yr old child.

But if a court order is in place that states 50/50 then she wouldn’t have been allowed to do that without validating how the 50/50 share would continue.

At which point your boyfriend should have gone back to court to have that affirmed - child cannot be removed from the jurisdiction- depending how far it is.

Doesn’t sound like he’s done anything of the things required to enable him to be a 50/50 parent. because he doesn’t actually want to be a 50/50 parent. Plus he has you at weekends now to do it for him.

So yes in her shoes, I wouldn’t trust him very much and would want to know where my child is whilst in his care, it’s basic safeguarding. If he hasn’t considered the same in reverse, that’s a him problem and demonstrates his lack of safeguarding awareness.

I mean the man doesn’t actually know where his child lives… wake up OP. Red flags everywhere.