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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for thinking it was more than friends?

121 replies

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 15:58

So I had a party for my birthday and invited someone I’m interested in to the party. The whole party we were flirting back and fourth, they were talking about how they broke up with their gf as she was using tloml as a wlw accessory. After everyone left, we got closer and ended up cuddling and sleeping to billie eilish songs. When everyone was there, they grabbed my hand and held it, in a romantic way if you know what I mean. They also kept hinting at kissing me but we didn’t, and they looked into my eyes in an admiring way if u know what i mean. We woke up the next day and we were planning a date to go to an aquarium. I thought it was pretty obvious we were on the path to dating but they hit me with a text last night celebrating getting back with the ex. I was confused and said what about everything? They said that’s just friendly stuff. AIBU for thinking them speaking romantically to me, trying to kiss me, being physical and constantly complimenting me was more than friends? I feel so lost, what do I do?

OP posts:
Round3HereWeGo · 06/10/2025 16:01

Of course it wasn't just friends stuff but sounds like you've dodged a bullet.

Roll eyes and move on

Chrunchienuts · 06/10/2025 16:02

Forget and move on. They probably were interested in you until the ex came back on the scene. It sucks but you are better off out of it as it seems like they weren’t over the ex in the first place.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 06/10/2025 16:03

I doubt he ever split up with his ex tbh.

AutumnalSweater · 06/10/2025 16:05

He changed his mind after he got back with his ex.

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:09

AutumnalSweater · 06/10/2025 16:05

He changed his mind after he got back with his ex.

The likeliness that they split again is high honestly, do you think he will pull me back into the picture then or should I just stay friends with him?

OP posts:
SomebodysIcecream · 06/10/2025 16:10

I’m assuming it’s a she not a he.

Anyway, yes of course they were flirting and now they’ve got back with their ex they’ve changed their mind.

Just be grateful you’ve dodged a bullet.

runwithme · 06/10/2025 16:11

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:09

The likeliness that they split again is high honestly, do you think he will pull me back into the picture then or should I just stay friends with him?

Only if you let him

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:11

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:09

The likeliness that they split again is high honestly, do you think he will pull me back into the picture then or should I just stay friends with him?

This is because I’ve genuinely never met another person as nice and as perfect. Should I wait for him to realise that?

OP posts:
SomebodysIcecream · 06/10/2025 16:11

Cross post, maybe not - I don’t get the “using tloml as a wlw accessory” then…

wizzler · 06/10/2025 16:12

They have shown who they really are … don’t get romantically involved with this chancer

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/10/2025 16:13

I think they were probably a bit drunk and had let their inhibitions go during the party, and then when sober realised they didn't want to date, probably because they’re still in love with the ex they’ve just got back together with. I wouldn’t read anything more into it, it’s not you, it’s just how things are sometimes.

persisted · 06/10/2025 16:13

He was trying to line you up for the vacancy. Now there is no vacancy you are no longer required.

If he tried that again I'd tell him to get lost. I want to be a first choice, not a stopgap.

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:13

Yeah but she was amazing, should I wait it out? She also started saying how she didn’t like yt ppl as much as poc (her gf is white and im mixed) and said they broke up as she wanted to “prioritise people and things’ and then smiled at me.. so I’m so confused what do I do??

OP posts:
Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:15

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/10/2025 16:13

I think they were probably a bit drunk and had let their inhibitions go during the party, and then when sober realised they didn't want to date, probably because they’re still in love with the ex they’ve just got back together with. I wouldn’t read anything more into it, it’s not you, it’s just how things are sometimes.

There was no alc at my party im a minor, we were watching movies and doing music and stuff.

OP posts:
Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:16

SomebodysIcecream · 06/10/2025 16:11

Cross post, maybe not - I don’t get the “using tloml as a wlw accessory” then…

They said their ex was using them to be able to say they were dating a girl- she’s a masc woman I didn’t mean to say he in a couple of my replies lol

OP posts:
glowfrog · 06/10/2025 16:22

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:09

The likeliness that they split again is high honestly, do you think he will pull me back into the picture then or should I just stay friends with him?

They will probably try it on again with you because that’s clearly the kind of thing they do. If they were any kind of decent person, they would have apologised for stringing you along (it happens, relationships/ emotions can be messy and people make mistakes) rather than gaslighting you that they were just being good friends. I’d ignore and/or block.

If you’re a minor, then you are very young indeed and you can do so much better. Have some pride!

CherrieTomaties · 06/10/2025 16:24

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:13

Yeah but she was amazing, should I wait it out? She also started saying how she didn’t like yt ppl as much as poc (her gf is white and im mixed) and said they broke up as she wanted to “prioritise people and things’ and then smiled at me.. so I’m so confused what do I do??

You need to fucking grow up for starters.

XenaBallerina · 06/10/2025 16:26

You were clearly available, free and up for a serious relationship. He knew that but chose someone else.
Life is too short to be a second choice! Find someone that puts you first.

shellyleppard · 06/10/2025 16:26

I need a translator to understand most of this post.....

DiscoBob · 06/10/2025 16:26

Don't stay friends with him. He flirted with you and is now trying to gaslight you about it.

Just forget him and move on.

Owly11 · 06/10/2025 16:27

He was using you. Forget it and move on.

DiscoBob · 06/10/2025 16:28

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:15

There was no alc at my party im a minor, we were watching movies and doing music and stuff.

Ok that makes a lot of sense actually.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/10/2025 16:30

Supercherry101 · 06/10/2025 16:09

The likeliness that they split again is high honestly, do you think he will pull me back into the picture then or should I just stay friends with him?

I would avoid him at all costs! Not even stay friends.

He was clearly dicking you around, and then sent the “celebrating” message as a way of putting you off whilst pretending that he’d never been interested in the first place.

Despicable behaviour by reflects badly on you not him - at the moment! If you let him draw you in again then that’s on you as well as him.

Edit - or she/ her as it turns out but advice exactly the same!

BauhausOfEliott · 06/10/2025 16:32

You’re a bunch of kids and you’ll have forgotten about all this in a month. None of it means anything.

TimeForTeaAndG · 06/10/2025 16:34

Don't wait around for someone to see how amazing you are, or for them to breakup with someone. It rarely goes well, and you end up being a rebound.

You are young and there might be many heartbreaks but don't let it make you question who you are. People will love you for you, you don't want to be with the wrong person when you find them.

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