AIBU for thinking it was more than friends?

[Supercherry101]

So I had a party for my birthday and invited someone I’m interested in to the party. The whole party we were flirting back and fourth, they were talking about how they broke up with their gf as she was using tloml as a wlw accessory. After everyone left, we got closer and ended up cuddling and sleeping to billie eilish songs. When everyone was there, they grabbed my hand and held it, in a romantic way if you know what I mean. They also kept hinting at kissing me but we didn’t, and they looked into my eyes in an admiring way if u know what i mean. We woke up the next day and we were planning a date to go to an aquarium. I thought it was pretty obvious we were on the path to dating but they hit me with a text last night celebrating getting back with the ex. I was confused and said what about everything? They said that’s just friendly stuff. AIBU for thinking them speaking romantically to me, trying to kiss me, being physical and constantly complimenting me was more than friends? I feel so lost, what do I do?

instead of swearing at me, tell me how to grow up because I genuinely need help on this I think I’m brainwashed

Lmk what u don’t understand and i can explain!

I think this poster may have responded thinking you are an adult. You do have growing up to do but as a minor that's obviously only going to come with age and experience.

Crushes and first loves and all that can feel absolutely intoxicating. Your whole world suddenly becomes about that person and how they act around you, what they say, what they do. But it's about learning healthy relationship boundaries for yourself and what you tolerate from other people. Someone who will flirt and lead you on then go back to their ex the next day is not a good person. They've manipulated your feelings whilst knowing they aren't over that other person. So you decide whether or not you could ever trust that type of behaviour before they come back round again. Your answer should be no.

Know your own self-worth and don't be afraid to expect a high-bar from a romantic partner.

You are young and it all feels so intense. Being older I can see now how the intensity of young love leads to some terrible decision making and that's how you learn that actually you are worth more than this.
You deserve someone who having got the chance to be with you, doesn't then give a second thought to their ex!!
However amazing you think this person is you were clearly their second choice and you deserve to be someone's first choice. When you're first choice - that's the right relationship.

im an older teen, relationships can still be deep and meaningful. I’m going to be hurt about this for longer than a week.

This post is actually going to help me sleep tonight thank you!

And yet the person you’re describing sounds like a bit of a twit. Unless you’re both fifteen or under.

This, sorry op

Honestly I’ve realised from the responses or this feed that looks aren’t all that matter. I think I need to lay off him and have some pride, never knew coming on this website would give me better advice that my own mates!

You could try not winding the Mumsnet adults up.

Don't be so dismissive. Don't you remember teenage crushes and how intense they could be? Even if you don't, it obviously means a lot to OP just now so maybe don't belittle that.

I soooo needed this wake up call. I legit straightened my hair last night (I have 3a hair) to try and impress them when I next see them and I’ve probably ruined my hair for a couple weeks, I need to start making changes for my own happiness and wellbeing!

Ffs why are there so many of these fucking immature posts on here lately? Every thread I click on is this kind of shit. Since when did MN become the go to for 15 year olds 🙄

They all end up getting banned anyway.

It's very simple.

Block him.

Delete his number. Delete his insta. Delete his snap. Delete his Whatsapp.

Delete all his messages.

Work on your self worth and self esteem. You can do that in many different ways. Reading books, going out in nature, physical exercise, meditation, volunteering, trying out hobbies, painting. Meet new people - without romantic intentions.

Stop seeing people through rose tinted glasses. Just because someone holds your hand or gazes into your eyes doesn’t mean they’re going to be the love of your life. Stop looking for secret or hidden meanings in things. Stop romanticising situations.

Don't be so ageist, other threads are available if this one doesn't suit you.

It's a good thing if MN teaches girls and young women how to weed out arseholes.

Your mates have as much life experience as you do ♥️ We all might be quite a few years older but some of us remember what it felt like at your age and would rather help you learn this a lot quicker than we did.

True. They all seem to be posting in an American style too. Makes me wonder if it’s all the same poster

Considering the OP can't decide if the person they like is a he or a she I'd assume its all bollocks anyway

Someone telling me to grow up about my situation when I’m coming to look for help to get over it or face it? I’m gonna call them out, sorry. I’m a teen, I’m not gonna be able to see this straight right now as I’m under the influence of love if you know what I mean and I’m just looking for help, I don’t appreciate being sworn at and my age doesn’t determine the amount of respect you should have towards my feelings and situation.

You also can’t get your story straight.

You started the person as he/him.

Then you changed them to she.

Now it’s back to “him”.

Do you have any homework to be finishing before school tomorrow?

Maybe I’m old but please can someone translate what’s going on? Thank you

No matter your age, or your sex, never let another person treat you as if you are a handy replacement, You don't want to be second best to anyone.

It's hard if you thought you had a connection with someone, but better to know now than after you really get involved.

Good for you, OP.