I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

Kinda parasitic but your choice, if your parents really don't mind.

If you are bothered at all about finding a partner, you might find people respect you less for pissing all your money away rather than saving. A potential partner isn't going to want to live with your parents for life. You may turn round one day and realise you'd like kids of your own, and regret not getting your finances in order.

How do your parents feel about you not moving out?
It sounds a bit selfish IMHO, expecting to be bank rolled for a non-determined time.

It’s not been drilled into me, it’s my choice. My nan died having cried for a week that she’d never experienced the world, married young and had kids. My mum has had many a moment of regret. I have seen that and made my choice.

At 26 you should be adulting but if your parents are happy with the situation thrn carry on

Like I’ve said multiple times on this thread. They love it.

Haven’t RTFT but I found this podcast to be helpful for my own children in their 20s. Yes live your life but you do need to plan for the future and you are wasting valuable planning time.

You should be able to put away £500 per month and still have savings to travel. In 5 years you'll have £30k. In 10 years you'll have £60k plus interest and your earnings will likely have doubled if you're looking after your career..
I bought my home at the age of 38 after years of renting. Thank goodness my parents encouraged me to save a bit of my earnings each month. It all added up and meant that I had far more freedom and choice and don't have to rely on anyone for my future security.

At 26 you still feel in that early 20s, young adult phase.

But unfortunately - and especially for women - it's short. Much shorter than you can possibly believe at the time.

You've had a lot of fun but you can't carry it on indefinitely. You say you expect nothing from your parents but you do - a roof over your head.

If they ever want to move, go into care or pass away then you won't have that anymore. Hopefully it's years away but if nothing changes you'll be in exactly the same position.

It will eventually cause your parents stress, even if it isn't doing so now.

I am in the saver camp. Arguably I could have had more fun/ travel in my 20s. But that work means I'm now able to carry in working part time (decent job I was able to reduce hours when I had kids). And it's bloody brilliant.

There's no right answer but you are potentially making the next three decades much harder for the fun you are having now. I'd say balance is key and you need to enjoy some now and save something for your future enjoyment.

I agree op.
Difference is though I don't think the younger generations in the house will have any children.

happy why care what random Mumsnetters think?
We can only tell you how we, as individuals, would have felt in your shoes.
I’m a worrier, and I need to see a plan ahead. Unpredictable things do happen, and unless you’re certain to inherit shedloads of money (a healthy deposit, or enough to buy outright), I’d be shitting myself thinking what happens when your parents die. Yes, it may not be for many years, but still.
It’s really not a great life to be renting or paying a mortgage in old age… But that’s just how I see it. I don’t judge other people’s choices

My 34 year old DS is still at home, we holiday together, go to cinema, meals out. We talk about the cost of things and he says he cannot afford to move out, doesn’t have a partner, we enjoy his company and DH and I spend all week days together, so there’s no issues there. I remember my brother moved in with a friend in his early 20’s, he had no spare money so he worked in a bar at night just to have a social life, he hated it.

It’s not unobtainable. You could easily save £1k a month on that salary and no outgoings. Start off with a tiny flat. In 5 years you’d have 60k deposit.

DD is 19, I am in no rush for her to move out, I love her company.

She’s at college, has a PT job, I take no money off her, pay for phone / food etc .. she pays bus fares and college.

We have no mortgage, and she’s my only child, so will (at some point) be left the house.

If / when the time comes to move out, I’ll miss her terribly.

the fact my brothers feel able to comment on it has really pissed me off. They both waited until later life to settle down but for some reason feel like they can judge me for doing the same

Five years of scrimping and saving and for what? The flat that’s currently worth £120k will be closer to £200k and more and more lenders are avoiding leasehold properties because they’re a nightmare. It’s not the 90s anymore.

The big difference for me is you could, theoretically, travel anytime during your life (even if it’s just holidays rather than adventures). Unless you're going to be earning big money in the future you’re not going to be able to buy at any random time in the future. My sister did what you did and will be still paying her mortgage in her 70s, working full time. I bought earlier, travelled less, and have been mortgage free since my 50s (so have the flexibility to work less). Travel has been fairly evened out between us over the years though (I’ve been to enough countries on holiday to feel satisfied I’ve seen a bit of the world).

It’s up to you of course but I’d personally prioritise buying (I would hate to be a renter all my life as it must be very stressful).

Nobody can rely on inheriting. Care costs are huge and people can change their minds as to who they leave property to.Retirement should only be planned on what you are providing for yourself.

I have a son in his early 30s still living at home. He saves almost 60% of his salary each month and needs to save a 50% deposit to be close to buying a house where we live as a lone buyer.

We have plenty of room for him and it’s not an issue him living here but he is a saver, non drinker, smoker etc. I’m not sure I would feel the same way if he was spending all his money on travel.

But, again, my parents are very happy with the current situation

Cornwall? Jesus, not exactly travelling and it’s hardly a “destination” for a decent long weekend.

I think people (parents or you) dropping dead is the least of your concerns. Chronic illness is far more worrying and can start when you are young and ruin everything very quickly (i had to go part time at 34 which was career suicide in my profession - nhs too). Obviously if you're parents get long running illnesses with care needs you'll end up with no roof over your head eventually.

You need to balance the need to enjoy yourself before this might happen, and travelling at 26 is not unreasonable. But you current plan is flimsy, and i think you know that deep down judging by this thread and your need for validation.

Also, most of us who aren't from money started in pretty rough properties, the first place i bought was a small flat, the first two places me DB and SIL bought were doer uppers (the low point for DB was when he had to remove them piss soaked bathroom carpet - previous owner was an alcoholic- then remove them floorboards, then bleach the floor/ceiling joists, just to get rid of the smell), my parents first place was next door to a brothel. You will need to get your head around starting at the bottom, that is not a purely generational thing.

You’d be better off to quit your job and go away for a year !! Then start again when you return :)

I’ve done this 3 times in my life 😂 once at 22, again at 27 and on maternity leave with my 1 kids we went off for 6months around Asia at 36

the third time I air Bnb out my flat so had mortgage taken care of

came back from last trip in a bit of debt but nearly paid off now and it was well worh it and have zero regrets

do it op ! You can sort everything else out another time - you can always make more money !

and sounds like your parents aren’t in a rush to kick you out or anything !! So why not

Ah, this changes things. It sounds like they’re quite a bit older than you.

They might be thinking about early inheritance. Ya know, where their in laws are now downsizing and releasing equity for the grandchildren, their little sister is squatting on similar equity.

Which, frankly, isn’t my issue? I don’t need to live my life according to what they’d want as their inheritance.

I think you’re being by over dramatic to suit what you want to do. Having £700 left over to just spend on yourself isn’t scrimping. If you really wanted to scrimp you could save more. Nobody buys property without pain but that pain pays off later- big time!