I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

Hi, I’m 55 and left home at 16. Growing up I had 2 uncles, one on each side who never left home. My DD is 19 and has always wanted to leave and be independent but like you she feels she cannot. Everyone does what is right for them.

I’ve not once said that.

if they expressed that they were unhappy obviously things would need to change. But both have expressed sheer joy at it, so I don’t think that’s on the horizon just yet.

I actually think it's sensible to stay at home with your parents for as long as possible. Renting a flat alone would cost you over 1k a month, that would be most of your income depleted on your rent. Most likely paying off someone else's mortgage or lining their pockets. The other option would be living with randoms (eww, never again). Why suffer and struggle if you don't need to?

30's are the new 20's anyway. Many people in their twenties/late teens are infantalised so much, a 26 year old today will be drastically different to a 26 year old from your parent's era. The world has changed drastically and the cost of everything has become insane. I shudder when I think of how much money I threw down the loo in my twenties, paying over the odds to live in grotty flatshares whilst being skint. I would enjoy the cheaper/no rent, peace and quiet and enjoy your solo trips. I have single friends who are still living at home in their 30's, it does sound like an easy life!

I have been in the NHS for 30y. Things have changed a lot. Currently it’s the worst it has been for employees, where I work. We have had redeployments but now, for the first time in my trust, actual redundancies. I would be careful of thinking this is your meal ticket to a great pension and it’s a job for life. Even public sector pensions are not what they were.

You have the invincible optimism of youth which is lovely to see. But at the same time, struggling financially in later years is no fun. And your nhs job, whatever it is, is no 100% guarantee to an easy and secure life financially.

I imagine you have some doubts, hence posting here. Enjoy life but have one grown-up eye on the future too.

This is hilarious.

You can’t host dinner parties? Boo hoo. What a shite reason for incurring huge living costs.

And I’m sorry but baby’s first steps are great but so are interesting experiences and funny stories about experiences.

The op is very young. Has a while to get a mortgage if she wants to.

Well it's not a choice I would have made, but she can if she wants to and her parents are happy to have her.

Exactly. Why would I want to pay off someone’s mortgage, or even worse, pay for them to travel etc when I then can’t?! Rent plus council tax would be about £1,200 a month. That leaves me with £400 a month for all bills, food and transport. It would be horrendous.

I hope for your sake that your parents do indeed lead very healthy lives until the end.

I do understand that it’s hard to be young today. The world feels rather hopeless with the cards stacked against you, so I understand the “stuff it, may as well have fun” approach.

But you know that you have your head in the sand and it’s obviously niggling at you or you wouldn’t be posting here.

Yes, live a little. But also save a little. If you invest £100 a month wisely for the next 30 years it could be worth well over £100k. Do the Rebel Finance School course (google it, it’s free).

Hearing people's travel stories is far superior to hearing someone drone on about their boring baby! Why is it that the only milestones many people care about relate to being chosen by a man or the result of them having a shag. We are so much more than that, be it travel, promotions, academic achievements or hobbies.

It’s fine to live with parents. I know lots of my friends kids who have lived with their parents into their thirties before moving out with partners or on their own. But they have , in the main saved a fair chunk of cash whilst living at home to allow them to launch into the world of renting or home ownership. Whilst it may seem fine to live with your parents in your twenties while they are also relatively young, it may not be something you want to do when you are older. You also have to realise that your parents will change as they get older. I loved having my kids with me in their twenties, but now we are retired it would drive me batshit to have anyone other than DH live with me

If everyone is happy with it, why not? Life is short. Live life while you can I say. You don’t have to do things just because lots of others do.

They’re both retired and genuinely love it. Like my dad said, he’d rather see us living our lives and having fun than in shitty rented accommodation struggling.

‘Has time to get a mortgage’.

With what deposit?

Every young person I know knows that with a million migrants entering the UK every year, and the house building rate at its lowest ever, house prices will only go up and up. They know they have one of three options:

1. rely on bank of mum and dad
2. save like a nutter
3. be an idiot

Also, these young people know that going on endless holidays does not make them ‘interesting’. The OP is foolish to think those around her do anything but roll their eyeballs at yet another tale something akin to:

‘so, like, yah, I went to Bali and people, like, are totally cultural and shit. They wear sandals and stuff. Ohmygaad, the food is divine. The beaches just totally cleanse the soul’

I’m not going to be travelling to Bali 😂

You said it yourself. House prices are going up and up. So what’s the point in chasing an unobtainable goal?

Living at home is perfectly fine. However, you wrote: There’s no point in me locking my money away in a LISA, because it’s just going to sit there.

That's the whole point of a LISA, that it sits there, compounding until you need it. When my DD graduates, I'm going to encourage her to put £4k a year into a LISA, let the Govt. add £1k so she's gradually building up a house deposit.

Do you go away every weekend. Where?

The interest rates are pitiful. Any growth is obliterated by inflation.

And no, not every weekend - but I try to use long weekends etc to get away as and when I can. I’ve got a long weekend coming up and I’ll be off to Cornwall for a couple of days of beach walking and cosy coffee!

YANBU OP
The social contract with the young is completely and utterly broken. You are lucky in that you have somewhere relatively low cost to live. Lots don't and will be stuck paying high rent that eats all their money.

Yes she can, if that's what suits both the OP and her parent(s)

I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

I'm two years into home ownership and about to set off for a month long trip in South East Asia. You can do both!

Up to you OP.

Personally I stayed at home, scrimped and saved until had enough for a mortgage. Then Bought first place and got a lodger.

I'll have a paid off house during retirement. You won't, your choice.

Even when she’s 85?

It makes me incredibly sad but I think that multi generational homes are going to become the norm. Obviously as I go for promotions etc there will be discussions had at home around how this will continue to give me some security, but for now I just don’t see how things can change.

If your parents are happy with you being at home then go for it! This is pretty much what I did, I lived at home until I was 27 (I appreciate I was lucky to get on v well with my parents and have them let me do this) and pretty much spent all my of my small income on travelling.

I’m much older now and really don’t regret doing this at all. The only difference I would say is that friends who did move out earlier and get on the housing ladder are now in bigger homes than my modest little house. I am sometimes envious of them but then they say they envy the travelling me and DH did so the grass is always greener!

I think you sound like you’ve had it drummed into you, due to your mum and Nans experiences, that you must travel when you’re young as if it’s the only time.

but you can travel throughout your life and it can still be amazing you know. I’m just over a decade older than you and did lots of travelling in my uni days working abroad. At 26 DH and I were in our first rented house with a baby and DH did worry that we wouldn’t be able to travel much once we were moved out and had kids. By now we’ve bought a house and had another kid and we’ve done lots of travelling - once we saved for 3 years and road tripped around America with the kids, this year we did a mini break to Croatia and another to kos. I’ve actually preferred it to when I travelled alone when I was younger. We are by no means rich either- just lots of saving up.

I think you have to do what’s best for you but don’t stress that you can only do go travelling in your 20s and won’t be able to do it as much once you hit 30 and beyond or once you have settled down.

I think because I had a baby at 26 I don’t really see 26 as particularly young and I know I would have lost the plot living with my parents till then. However I also know that a decade ago, it was easier to move out than it is now and really as long as you are happy and your parents are happy then it’s not really anyone else’s business. I would just advise you do save as well as travel because all of a sudden you might hit 30 and beyond desperate for your own space and have no means at all to get it.