I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

Travelling while you're young is so much fun - enjoy it while you can. Life is for living.

I think it’s fine… with a caveat.

I’m an AHP, perhaps similar to you, and I get entirely ‘investing’ now on building experience so that your career is really solidly based with better earning prospects in the future. (The NHS may or may not exist in the same form but your training will still mean you can work, one assumes). I also think prioritising travel is completely reasonable. Also the ‘property ladder’ doesn’t exist any more. If your parents are happy to have you at home, and you like it too, have at it.

BUT - please do start a Lisa, even if you are saving £50 a month or something. That really is free money that you are turning down. And if you have to just take the money out again before 40, you haven’t lost anything, it will still earn interest. Things can change fast. It is still worth planning to own a home in the future, not for wealth, but to have more control over where you live and to reduce living costs. Also are you picking up weekend bank shifts, maximising earning while you are young and strong?

I don’t blame you. I’ve got an adult child at home who I can’t see moving out, and that’s fine.

I don’t work in a caring position, so no bank shifts.

Ok. Do the Lisa though.

It’s just such a rough market out there. I have one friend who scrimped and saved, did nothing, ended up moving out to rent. She’s had four sales fall through this year and has had to move home, while the property values in her area have gone bonkers. So now she’s scrimped, saved, experienced nothing, has a deposit she can’t do anything with and no house. What’s the point in that?

It's fine so long as you aren't sponging on your parents. If you pay 1/3 of all utilities, contribute to food, clean the house and help with DIY, then fine. Why on earth should two adult generations of the same family not live together? And if that leaves you with money to travel, great.

But if you are expecting them to sub you forever, that's immature. You could look for jobs with in-built travel and apply for promotions.

If you don’t expect to inherit, where do you plan to live when your parents die?

The thing is the housing market is turning, I’d never say to any young person to buy their first house right now, but save now and give it a few years and the prices will have dropped!

Hopefully that won’t happen for a long, long time. I’m not doing to dwell on the fact that they could drop dead tomorrow because so could I.

I personally wouldn't have chosen that lifestyle as I'm very much a homebody, I do get out, but I don't feel a need to explore, if that makes sense. You only get one chance at this life. If travelling is your passion, then chase it. Be happy.

Agree it's rough
But if property prices fall said friend will be in a great position

Trust me you will look back and kick yourself
You wouldn't even have to scrimp and save, just budget .
However I will save my breath...

Your brothers can host dinner parties. You can’t.

When your parents need to go into a care home, your brothers will not be homeless. You will.

Your brothers can have children. You can’t because you cannot put a roof over your own head, let alone others.

When you and your siblings are pensioners, you will be the only one renting and struggling to make ends meet.

When all your friends start buying homes and starting families, your stories about wild times on a beach in Bali will pale into insignificance compared to their stories of a child’s first steps.

Um, people who don’t own homes or inherit still live on beyond their parents. I’d be looking to buy an over 55s flat in those circumstances, there are some genuinely cheap ones near me, they’re not great but manageable and a brilliant location.

Make sure you have enough in your savings for the equivalent of a rent deposit for a flat share and a few months of rent and bills. Then have your adventures.

I would encourage you to use trains or take longer trips in a camper van - flying around Europe at the weekends isn’t something I can approve of from a carbon-guzzling point of view. Although I’m sure there are wealthier people than you who do this without a second thought (taking a look at the Holidays board for example!)

But it’s going to restrict your whole life, though. You’ll never live alone, be bringing dates or boyfriends back to your parents’ house, which is pretty infantilising, and be your parents’ carer by default. Or are you just hoping to move in with someone who already has his own property?

Your post comes across as a bit crass. “Use religion and culture as an excuse”

God forbid people want to look after the people who cared for them and raised them eh!

don’t think you need religion or culture for that maybe just some decency

‘When all your friends start buying homes and starting families, your stories about wild times on a beach in Bali will pale into insignificance compared to their stories of a child’s first steps.’

How ludicrous. Honestly. I have a child and can still enjoy my friends’ travellers tales. My mum in a nursing home has piles of photo albums of her adventures. She prefers those to pictures of us tbh.

It used to be the norm to live in the parental home until either marriage or a move for work. Then everyone became obsessed with buying a property. It makes lots of economic sense to share, a few promotions down the line and taking on a mortgage may be feasible. Or having a partner/getting married and buying together.

I hope the OP continues to enjoy travelling.

If that’s your priority, then great! But I don’t think my only purpose in life is to have children and that’s okay. I don’t want to host dinner parties. Obviously things could change but there is no indication that they would, I have a younger sibling who would be in the same boat and we’ve agreed that should anything ever happen we’d be happy to rent together. So it really wouldn’t be a world ending thing.

I’m sure there are many families like this. I mean, it makes sense if everyone in the household is happy with it and all are behaving as adults. Being clean, contributing, being considerate.

I bet there will be more and more people living this way as col rises and rises and house prices are out of people’s reach.

I can see my priorities potentially changing in the next couple of years, and I’m hoping to get a couple of promotions at work in that time. But right now, this is the place I’m in.

There isn't a point in it. You are right. De-stigmatising inter-generational living needs to happen. There is space in a family home. The mortgage may well have been paid off. It makes total sense for the house to be properly populated.

The difference needs to be that adult children take on adult responsibility within that house. Their job now to vacuum the stairs, bend over to scrub the bath, mow the lawn, clean the oven. The tiring physical jobs shouldn't be left to aging parents.

So your parents sre never allowed to have their hoise to themselves?

I think you’d be hard pressed to get my dad to relinquish his lawn mower!

but yes I agree, I do a lot around the house and it makes sense to us to live like this right now because there is no way that either of us would be able to afford a property. The mortgage is paid off and we are, essentially, housemates