I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

So your parents must be extremely well off then? And you’re likely to inherit a decent chunk of that in the future? Is that tge real reason you don’t feel the need to save?

At 26ish? All your friends? How strange! My DC have all travelled abroad several times with friends/ partners. Oldest is 22!

It’s hugely unlikely that an entire friendship group of men and women who aren’t that far off 30 are too scared to travel without parents.

there are many many inconsistencies on this thread though as lots of posters have pointed out. OP refuses to acknowledge them so it’s a fairly pointless thread really

It is burying your head in the sand a bit- most people spend a large portion of their salary on rent, that's just life. How much travelling do you need to do?

All my adult life I had an ambition to go on safari, first I did Nurse training, then more Nurse training, then I met my Dh
(who didn't share my ambition😅) And had Dd, I developed chronic illness which made travel risky. Finally this year I decided I was going to go for it, I spent my 65th birthday in South Africa with Dd and we had the most magical trip, but it was always in the back of my mind that something could happen. Don't put it off, do it now, and the rest can follow later.

Cape town? How did you stay safe in South Africa?

It's not fair to still be living at home at 26 and having no plans to move out, functionally your parents are paying for your travelling and subsidising you to do a low paid, low demanding job.
Why is it's your parents responsibility to pay for it all just because the world has turned and you can't afford a flat.
You need a plan to get onto the housing ladder- you have siblings , so you won't inherit your parents property- just a proportion, what happens then?
You will never be able to retire if you are still paying rent.
Travelling is great- but you can't afford it- get used to standing on your own two feet or you will finish up in a mess.

Tens of thousands of people travel in South Africa every year, independently and on organised tours, without being carjacked, murdered, or whatever else you think inevitably happens to any visitor.

DBro went to Joburg once on business and it was only. Airport, hotel , office. If they went out it was only in a highly secure/protected area. Just seems terrifying.

The op has said she will get promotion in time, she won't always be low paid. She pays rent to her parents and does things around the house, she isn't leeching off them and they are comfortably situated.

As long as all parties are happy I don't see anything wrong with he making the most of the situation while she can.

I live in London and there is a woman on our street who lives with her parents in her late 20's. They carved out a part of the house to give her, her own studio apartment with separate entrance. So she gets the best of both worlds, a bit of independence and also plenty of time with parents. She is a dogsitter/walker and she has a nice little business, but it wouldn't be viable if she had to pay to rent locally as it's SW London and super expensive.
You do whatever suits you. Best of luck

I did exactly this. I knew I wanted to buy a house but also that I was desperate to see the world. I saved so hard after I finished uni and travelled South East Asia for 4 months with my friend. When I came home I got a good job and saved hard and then purchased my first home. It's taken me 7 years to pay off my mortgage. I got married had a child and now me and my husband are looking for our next home.

Not your daughter.
Not your sister.
Not your niece or your cousin or your dad’s second cousin by marriage.
Not your friend or acquaintance.
Not your old school chum.
In other words,
she’s not your business.

Last year my two best Uni friends died only months after shock diagnoses - both just as they reached retirement age. Fortunately one had left work early and was able to fulfill some of her travel plans, but the other had only just stopped work. Yes they owned their own homes, but they never had a chance to really enjoy the money they'd saved or the plans they'd made. I'm 64 and say travel now - I've had to work really hard and not do a lot of what I wanted as my ex husband deserted us and I was a single parent for years. Hopefully in a few years I'll be happily retired and can have some fun then. Seize the day!

No it isn’t but at some point either you bite the bullet or you don’t.

it is your choice but renting is horrible and the pressure to your parents maybe? What do they want/need to do with their house if they own it? What is the big plan for later I guess is what you need to ask yourself? I can see why your brothers (if moved out and living more sparely than they would want) would feel a bit lifted with you staying in the house.

But then again…my under 10years old announced way back he was never living home and that we could « just change the deco for him » if we’d like 😂😂😂 ….erm.

Absolutely. You just avoid certain areas.

People say the same about London where I've lived all my life, worked in central London for years before retirement, went out at night. I'm still here, quite safe.

Exactly this 👌

Go with your heart and use your common sense.

Don’t let anybody here scare you or shame you into doing anything that isn’t right for you.

You know what’s right for you.

The saying my mum and I had for each other was, “You’re a good ‘gril.’”

You’re a good gril.

Sending love. ❤️

OMG it's a public forum. OP made it our business.

Why ask if YABU and defend yourself in every comment 🤷‍♀️

I voted YABU for you not having savings or investing your spare cash. You could be doing this and still have money for travelling. You've been very financially unwise to not save and invest for the future.

As for living at home still, if you're all happy, then fair enough. Wouldn't be my choice but each to their own. I moved out at 16, rented (first as a student, then worked full time), then bought my first house at 24.

Ugh! good for you! Sounds heavenly. (Although Yabu for saying turned around and said - I hate that!)

I loved my parents dearly but I couldn’t wait to get my own place. I had moved out straight after uni and married at 23! As much as I love my kids I hope they do the same. But ultimately if your parents are happy and you are happy and you can make it work without driving by each other crazy then go for it.

I have one child with similar outlook to you and we support his choices. Not everyone is cut out for the’ traditional ‘ way of life . He is happy wandering around the world,earns enough to live independently and am guessing that one day he will settle somewhere that works for him . He keeps in touch and knows there is always a home here whenever he is in the uk . We are all different and have different aspirations.

Travel to Monaco... find a rich husband. Do it while your tits are still good. I'm 58 so it's no longer an option for me. Enjoy your youth!