I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

So if your parents aren’t wealthy does that mean you can also buy five (plus) properties on what you earn, or would you have to have a tad more in the bank to do that?

Their assets most certainly will have an impact on you. It’s a safety net most ‘struggling’ 20 somethings don’t have!

You did plead poverty. You've bemoaned affording rent and house prices numerous times. And how can you say that their assets have no bearing on your life when you live in their house? So spoilt.

OP, the older brothers who criticized you - are they half brothers? Will they inherit the same chunk of 5 properties as you?

I can’t afford rent - that’s unaffected by my parents asset levels. Whether they had one house or seventeen, they’d let us stay. They’ve said that.

There you are pleading poverty again.
You think the number of houses is irrelevant because you've never even thought about what it is like having that to fall back on. It's not irrelevant, despite what they tell you. They're doing no favours by raising you unaware of your privilege.

I'm not sure if you'd enjoy the culture in the Nordic countries if you only see value in huge family living arrangements and thinking it's "sad" or that people "don't like" their family if they don't live with all their extended family in one house as IMO, informed by having extended Danish family they aren't really known for a traditional, conservative with a small c, culture that promotes these structures!

@WeCouldBeNice

what about a house share with a mate or two, Op? @WeCouldBeNice
much cheaper for you than renting alone and you said yourself, most of your mates still live at home too - I’m sure not all of them want to. Or would roughing it a bit and losing all the home comforts of your parents house be a dealbreaker for you??

Sounds nice if you live in a chateau in France.

If you can’t afford rent how did your not wealthy parents afford to own five plus houses? One of you is doing not wealthy wrong.

Firstly what you have to sacrifice to buy a home is ridiculous, and I know lots that are caught in horrible part ownership schemes or ripped off by too good to be true new builds. Have you ever owned a home? Rented it out? It’s stressful, the mortgage you have to meet (with or without tenants), repairs you have to do and pay for, house insurance, tax returns, buying a house is stressful, selling a house is work and you can get caught in chains and locked in to areas you may not want to live etc etc. There are lots of easier ways to invest (SIPS, LISAs). I think it’s important to make an informed decision - my DH did the same and we’ve both had adventurous lives whilst we had energy without being tied down, and this next stage of our 30’s is happily settled.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5414256-to-ask-for-your-feedback-on-my-holiday-itinerary-for-next-year?postsby=ThatCyanSheep

Also you. The summer trip you mentioned here is actually your first solo trip. What else is a lie?

So you’re not saving for a house but you are saving but it’s not for a house and your parents are not wealthy but they own 5 plus properties but they’re not wealthy….

ok then.

a thread full of inconsistencies.

How do we know it’s the ‘full body shower’ poster?

Well I am in the US where some houses are bigger with a lot more outside space too than the UK so it’s slightly easier to visualize a multi family property option.

Honestly. Ignore the others hear. Very glad your parents let you live with them. As we let our DC live with us

Sure, if I were the daughter of some (not) rich, indulgent oligarchs who were happy to let me stay home indefinitely and I knew I was going to inherit from their property portfolio at some as yet undetermined point in the future, I may have made the same choices, OP.

Why slave away spending all your pin money salary on rent in some grubby hovel or squirrelling it all away for a mortgage deposit when you know that affording a property in the future isn't going to be an issue? May as well spend your pennies on holidays travelling when life's parental lottery has already set you up nicely for youth, middle and old age.

Of course, that wasn't how you framed it initially, with your dark tales of having to work until you were 76 and never being able to afford to buy. That will have informed the responses you received both from the You Go, Girl types and the more Gordon Brown prudence types.

It would be almost impossible here in the UK unless you were very affluent. Otherwise you’re just sharing limited space which will start to irk before long.

Do you help at home? I’ve found that dc who leave are a lot more capable and have more initiative in the house. They don’t need to be asked, and don’t moan about it.

‘It’s all just going to sit there’ well that’s the whole point isn’t it? Except it doesn’t just sit there - it GROWS. I suggest you save £100 a month into a stocks and shares LISA on a low cost trading platform . In a world equity index fund. The dividends get reinvested buying more units. Keep it going as it will compound and grow. Drip feed monthly.

You will get 25% of the max £4 k a year on top from government. I’d try and add 4 k a year if you can. You live at home so should be able to do this and travel.

I travelled but much younger than you. So 18/19 camp America so bit more structure, then back packing round Asia , teaching in France etc at 22/23 but I was working at 24 and started my career. It was tough buying my first place. Why rent? It’s money down the drain and so extortionate.

Travel Wise I’d plan it so you get some work abroad aswell at various points. A lot of countries I visited were so cheap my money stretched for so long as I travelled with the rough guide. Places I stayed were very basic but lovely and food amazing. I still have the memories now 35 years later. I’m so glad I did it. I understand you need to go and live. However you will not feel like this forever and one day it wear off, it will be realising you are watching others living their lives rather than you living yours.

Are you going to take a career break to do this?

Lifetime ISAs are not as good as people make out. Investing in any ISA, ideally a stocks and shares one is a better idea .
However, given the OP's family wealth, I doubt she needs to worry about long term finances.

My take on all of this is that she knows her parents will help out eventually, or that she will meet a man to help her buy a house.

To have 'no plan' at all about where you will live once you get older is not sustainable.

What's missing from all her posts is how much she would need to earn to buy a property and what her plan is around that- it needs more detail than just 'promotion'. Is she talking of a huge jump in salary and how realistic is that?
If she's on £25K now but would need £45K to even think of getting a mortgage, how is that going to happen and how long?

If it works for you all, then that’s fine.

However not saving anything is incredibly short sighted. Your situation will change at some point in time. If you’re always living at home are you also prepared to be carer for your parents because if they’ve afforded you staying there as a teenager in effect, for years, they’ll likely expect some give in later years.

Do you ever want to meet someone and settle down? Maybe not now, but if you do, how will you afford to move out? You can’t just sponge off someone you meet and expect him to fund your lifestyle in the same way or approach the relationship 50/50, as financially you’re not going to be a great prospect. I know we don’t enter relationships with this in mind, but if a woman was on here saying “I met a great guy, problem is he lives at home with his parents, has zero money and owns no assets but wants to move in with me, what should I do?”, Mumsnet will be telling them to protect themselves and give them nothing. Would you want to live like that? I don’t think many people would.

Live to enjoy today but plan for tomorrow, it’s more likely tomorrow will come than it won’t.

OP had better hope that she does not have a major falling-out with her parents, if they are essentially her long-term housing plan (via inheritance or gift). Or that her parents don’t decide to liquidate their property portfolio in the interim, and embark on their own travels / cruises, and spend the inheritance! Or that inheritance tax and capital gains tax don’t increase further.. Or that one parent dies, the other parent remarries, then all property and savings passes to the new partner after the death of the second parent… It does actually happen (I know of a couple of instances..).

Most people who can take this casual attitude to money and long term security can only that because they know there is a back up plan (ie here ,it's the parents.)

I'd be more sympathetic to the wild spending if there was some plan such as in 5 years I want to earn £x , this is how I can do it, and that means I will be able to buy somewhere.

OP mentions 'promotion' and if she's in the NHS that will be linked to Grades so it ought to be very easy to have a promotion in sight and how much she would earn. But from what she's said, it doesn't appear as if she's looked that far ahead.

Totally agree with this!

enjoy whilst you can

"Make hay while the sun shines" means "work hard and accrue what you can when times are good so you have something put aside when winter comes," which is the opposite of "enjoy today, nobody knows what tomorrow brings."

Just saying.