I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

No, not at all. Xmas can be a strange time. Too much expectation.

Hardly, we just have respectful boundaries as you know, we are all adults and not codependent on each other!

why are you downplaying your living arrangements don’t you find it claustrophobic living at home with parents? as an adult I love my parents but I couldn’t live with them long term, my 25 year old self I had moved out bought a house and lived with partner. Before then I lived away at university and took a year travelling working in New Zealand/ Australia/Usa after that freedom I couldn’t keep living at home forever. Your posts sound like your father indulges you and you don’t have the maturity to understand why this might be an issue to your older siblings.

Dd2 is almost 34 and loves travelling. She works for the NHS as does her dh. Their dd is 18 months old and she has been to USA, Canada, Cyprus, Greece, Singapore, Malaysia and Italy. Dd2 had to save up with her dh to buy a house but that didn't stop her travelling. I don't think its either or.

Your only young enjoy yourself, sounds like you’ve got lovely parents who are happy to have you around. I had loads of holidays when younger & the memories are amazing. Own a house now & have never done a dinner party 😂.

No, I’m out of the house from 7:30-7:30 five days a week. My dad indulged my older siblings just as much (if not more!), so I think it would be hypocritical to have an issue with it after they benefitted from it.

I don’t think any of us are codependent! If I was unemployed/WFH I’d agree but I’m only home to sleep really.

Ah so your parents ARE very wealthy. Owning 5 properties is the sort of drip feed I thought might be coming.
You’ll be fine then, OP.

Ah life’s too short. If your parents are happy, if you’re happy then f em.

I have realised it’s 5+ properties, whatever that means. It could be 100!

Yes - I currently live abroad but have gone back for months at a time to help nurse them at home through big illnesses.

And I’m currently a full-time carer for a disabled spouse so have learned a whole new raft of skills re hospital beds and wheelchairs etc.

If this is what my son chooses to do then that’s absolutely fine by me. He’s not sure whether he fancies University yet when he leaves school, but he’s adamant that if he does, it will the most local and he’ll commute from home! If you’re happy and your parents are too then I really don’t see the issue.

Fair dos. I’m currently my mum’s carer, she lives with me and despite help from outside carers I find it hard, I could do with being a bit more like you tbh. wry smile

Find this whole thread rather distasteful all of a sudden.
Daughter of rich family pleads poverty and seeks validation from average joe.
Hope it made you feel good OP 🤷‍♀️

I never pleaded poverty. People have decided my parents are wealthy, despite them not being, and despite their assets having absolutely no bearing on my income or life whatsoever.

You have my sympathies - it’s certainly not how I thought I’d be spending my 50s onwards. It’s absolutely exhausting on a day to day basis.

I just love having all the people I love close and luckily we all get on - including in-laws (well there’s one I couldn’t live with) but I’d happily have my adult DSDs and their partners and children, and my DD and my parents around on a day to day basis. I think we’d all muck in and support each other.

Unfortunately we are all in different places because of work situations.

I’m not sure who you usually mix with, perhaps to be well off is normal to you, but people with average and even above average incomes do not own 5+ properties. So yes, they are wealthy.

You yourself admitted that you can take your housing situation for granted because it would take something ‘catastrophic’ for them to lose all 5+ houses and die simultaneously. So you have the luxury of complete security that most people don’t have.

In asking if you ABU not to be saving for a house, you failed to mention for quite some time that you will likely never be without a roof over your head (barring something ‘catastrophic’ and incredibly unlikely, as you put it).

So your situation is not one of poor graduate struggling on £26k and living for today having lost all hope of home ownership.

Your situation is having the luxury to spend all your income on trips abroad due to having the peace of mind of an extremely robust parental safety net.

It leaves a bad taste in the mouth having given you well-meaning advice, imagining you paying rent into your old age and eking out an existence on a minimal pension. However I now imagine you will inherit at least one property (as will your siblings) and no need to worry. Enjoy living at home and travelling the world. Not everyone is so lucky, so make the most of it.

I never pleaded poverty. People have decided my parents are wealthy, despite them not being, and despite their assets having absolutely no bearing on my income or life whatsoever.

You can't say they aren't wealthy but also have assets (5+houses) as that's a contradiction. Presumably they had money to buy 5 houses (even if BTL) in a touristy coastal town where property prices are out of your reach and many other people's.

It does have a bearing on your life because if they were less wealthy, you'd have to pay them more for living at home- the equivalent of rent, utilities and food.

Yeah I think you’re right. Shouldn’t have wasted my time! Ah well, it kept OP entertained which I suppose is something.

I really love my parents and enjoy spending time with them but in adulthood I prefer to live in my own home with my husband. I think you can be close to and have a good relationship with family while also having your own space and being independent.

Have you been doing this since 18? I understand on many levels but it‘s also important to save and plan ahead, especially as one day your parents may want their space. Definitely put into your pension what you can, have a savings pot and then yeah, I guess enjoy yourself with the rest.

I like my family (siblings, parents both passed), I just don’t want to live with them. Too many adults in one space.

👏🏻👏🏻