I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

I'd do it except I am not very good at travelling. So bored of all the buy a house ...retire at 50. The world's going to hell in a handbasket - hell knows what anything will look like. I'm 47 and honestly I can no longer be bothered to save everything for some mythical retirement . Lots of people find their passion in life at 30+ and sounds like you already have a pretty secure job. I did a lot of different jobs and things in my early twenties and had a lot of fun while working. My teens will probably live with me too - I hope so they are super independent but a lot of fun and as a single parent the company will be nice!

Enjoy your self. I mean I would say do the revel finance course too as as previous posters say compound interest is a thing of beauty.

My eldest has no plans to move out and is saving loads and great fun. Once I might have expected it but now when house prices are so horrid I think we all need to look hard at what we define a successful life.

LISAs are fabulous though - maybe it doesn’t have to be all one or the other.

Why does living at home / travelling equate to “not growing up”?

It is incredibly difficult to dial-down a certain standard of living, as you get used to fantastic holidays, or buying whatever you want, when you want. I would worry that you have a hefty bump back down to reality at some point in your future, when your living costs are not so massively subsidised (by your parents) and you have more outgoings. I would not be encouraging my adult children to have such expensive tastes in life - essentially seeing their wages as ‘disposable’ income in its entirety. I think a healthy approach is for a balance - saving some every month, alongside having (maybe fewer or cheaper) holidays.

In some respects it sounds like you don’t have a plan - you are putting it all off until later on.

I think pps suggesting taking a sabbatical and working while you travel seems like a sensible idea instead of multiple luxury holidays every year.

If you are relying on inheriting in the future, if either / both parents develop dementia or similar, or become too frail / unwell to live independently, then your parents’ savings and assets (ie the house) could very quickly be mopped up in care home fees (£70-£100k per year), for maybe 5-10 years. In this day and age, I don’t think it is really possible to be able to assume that an adult child is guaranteed to inherit a good sum of money any more, so you really need to have financial plans in place for your future that don’t assume inheritance.

As an NHS worker, can you put your name down with a local social housing provider for social rented housing? It may take 5 years for your name to get to the top of the list, but there is security of tenure, discounted rents and sometimes the option to staircase ownership?

At your age I’d have hated to live with my parents, even if it meant money for trips. But it’s nice that you have a relationship with them that means you all enjoy that.

I would really encourage you to start saving something though. Things really snowball in your late twenties and thirties as you get promoted and earn more. Suddenly you can see the prospect of a flat purchase but starting from scratch at eg 32 will make it seem like it’s still pointless. And the novelty of 6 weekends away a year will wear off, if the climate guilt doesn’t get you first.

Life can be very happy without marriage and kids, despite what some pp say. But if you do want that in the future, you’d be bringing nothing to the relationship financially and making yourself very vulnerable as a result.

All of the above is coloured by my experience of having to build my own financial security though. There was zero family money, not even a few hundred for a rental deposit. If you know deep down that there will be help when you need it though, it’s a lot easier to live in the moment!

Also it’s cultural. I have friends from Asian backgrounds who still lived at home well into their 30s and only left if they found a partner and moved in with them shortly before marrying (and some not even then.) Other friends / family only moved out when they were able to buy.

I moved out at 18 but only because I went away to uni. I would have stayed home much longer.

But save too!

If you are happy and your parents are happy then that's the most important thing. Like your mum I would have loved to have travelled at your age!
I have a DD who is 26 and back from doing a masters and living at home, it's fine, but she does want to move out as soon as her BF (mature student) finishes uni and gets a job.
However I do think it's important to try and save for your future so you can live independently, by around 30 I think you need to reassess.
My Dsis never moved out of home and our mum now has end stage dementia and really needs to be in a care home, the care she needs is a huge strain on dsis, but if mum went in a care home the house would have to be sold and that would leave my sister (in her 50s) homeless .
So you can't rely on your parents providing a home for you forever.
Right now it's fine but don't let it drift have a plan.

Same! Telling myself I could not afford a home was the biggest mistake ever. Meant I never strategised.

Its fine once everyone is happy with the situation. I went the opposite way. I skrimped and saved and lived on beans on toast while all my friends were off travelling. Now I have nice house and I'm able to travel a few times a year. Its hard to do it all at once. If you want to move out you need to live like a pauper for a few years!

Because part of being a grown-up means preparing for the future and taking a longer term view of what you want out of life. OP is only looking as far as the next holiday. Is she going to be glad she spent all her money on travelling when she's 40 or 50 and has no home, no partner, no prospect of her own family? When her parents pass away and she has nowhere to return to? Most of us are thinking about that in our late 20s and are ready to establish our own homes and our own lives beyond our parents.

She says she wants a promotion, but she also says that she lives in a deprived area with low wages, so what is she doing to get herself into a career with better opportunities or to live in an area with better wages? We all want to be better paid, we can't just say we want it and expect it to fall into our laps.

The time to travel is whenever a person wants to. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow.

Sounds like a lot of hyperbole on your part. Everyone, unless they are wealthy, has to make sacrifices to get on, and stay on, the property ladder. You only have to look at documentaries on Youtube from the 70s to see how people struggled back then too.

What makes you think people in their 40s who have their mortgages paid off are living crushingly boring and rigid lives? Surely those responsibilities have now eased considerably? What are these ‘so many responsibilities’ you’re referring to once a mortgage is, or nearly is, paid off? And how would they have been in a better position if they were in their forties and renting (or still living at home, with their kids, at mum and dad’s).

Fact is too many adults in a living situation just doesn’t work on an open ended ongoing basis. You will forever be the child in the house, until your parents become the children and you become their ‘parent’ and then you’ll be desperately wishing for your independence.

Hi Op in a lot of cultures kids particularly daughters stay living at home till they’re married especially today when it would make no financial sense to do so.

If your parents are happy and you are then it’s no one’s concern for your to be staying at home until you figure out.

The only thing is id be saving as well as traveling. You need to build savings and investments. If you’re living at home there’s no better time to do it.

I find the response to this really interesting, including saying that I’m not growing up.

I know so many people my age and of everyone I know, only two have moved out. One has returned home and one is in piles of credit card debt because they can’t afford anything above their rent and bills. Everyone else my age is doing exactly what I’m doing. We know we won’t retire, so why would we spend our lives being miserable for very little return?

Why? If the parents are happy, why not? It's not the norm but I wouldn't mind if my daughter wanted to stay living with me

Not necessarily. Not everyone thinks home ownership is the be-all and end-all.

You know you won’t retire?

your generation has a generation to try and improve things but a fatalist attitude won’t do that

To be honest, yes? The state pension age is rising and rising. It’ll be 76, minimum, by the time I hit retirement age.

I also laugh at @Catquestsaying I’m on £1800 a month! It’s not.

The state pension won’t exist by the time you get there. You need to plan to look after yourself in old age.

Do you contribute to bills/mortgage at your parents’ house and buy your own food or buy food for your parents too? Do you help with the housework and are you considerate towards your parents?

If yes to all the above, then I totally don’t see an issue and I’d be glad to have you home too! Enjoy your travels!

🤦🏻‍♀️

Statistically a lot of you will have retirement forced on you via ill-health or ageism, whether you can afford it or not. Why aren't you living with your mates and sharing costs with them, rather than you all just staying being kids at your parents? I lived in houseshares from 18 until your age, and it taught me a lot more than a few city breaks ever did.

But basically, you can be uncomfortable now or later, your choice. It's a lot easier to cope with grotty and unstable accommodation when you're young than when you're old.

No I don't think only white people live in those places. But many non white ( especially if various Asian originals) do live at home until they are married even when living in the above countries

I'm 41 and rent with my partner. I'm the breadwinner and i've only been career focused to be able to afford my horses. If i didn't have horses i'd have stayed an administrator with a lot less stress & a lot less money!)

One of them looks absolutely trodden on, i don't think I've seen him smile in many many years though.
The other brother has told my parents he's unhappy on a number of occasions. Equally, neither brother had a committed hobby growing up or early adult life.

Precisely!! Same here! As long as she is considerate, respectful, works, pays towards the bills, mortgage/rent and food, she does their part of the housework, my daughter would be welcome to live with us!