I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

My son is a bit younger than you and I'm happy he's at home. Just work on increasing your income.

Of course you're growing up. You always get a lot of that kind of response when you're brave enough to post such a thing on MN. You sound like a level headed young person and certainly haven't 'failed to launch'. Whether you're medical or clerical, you're doing a worthwhile job. You obviously have a good enough relationship with your parents, and you're taking your chance to travel and enjoy life. That's a good start. When you feel ready to start saving you'll be all the more ready to make sacrifices, because of the experiences you'll have had.

Why can one not be grown and equally live life one day at a time? Why is their only one model of being a grown up.

I do think OP should think about whether she wants financial strategy in the long term and think about a plan to get there while still travelling (the partner bit is irrelevant as you cannot “plan” for that and travel does not impact that.)

I disagree with some aspects of OP’s approach but it does make her not grown up for deciding to prioritise travelling today.

(Also she has her own family? You mean children?)

I travelled extensively in my 20's (when flights were much cheaper!). I rented a room in a shared flat in London, saved 10% of my salary and travelled multiple times a year. Met my now husband in my early 30's and we combined our savings to buy a home.

Id suggest looking to work towards getting a better paid job and putting some money away as well as being able to travel.

You're right, its fairly unachievable on your own but one day, you might meet Mr right and want to settle down.

Now im 40 ive just upped my pension contributions as im realising retirement isn't all that far away and wish id contributed the max from the start!

I think these days you have to be inventive in order to have a happy life and not become a slave to the system. If everyone directly involved is happy, then it's no-one else's business. You don't have to ask for permission on here...that way madness lies.

I'm 41, a quarter of my earnings goes on rent. Half of it on my horses..

I'm not worried in the slightest, i don't expect i'll retire until i'm 70+ anyway, i don't have a manual job.
When my mum passes away i'll have a third of her estate so i'll probably buy some land or something that i could put a porta cabin home on and grow old with some ponies on my doorstep.

You have very good-hearted and accommodating parents. Hopefully, you won't dump them when they're old, frail and need your help (and tables turn).
Times have changed since your granny's prime years. I hardly travelled when young. But I travelled the world with 2 small children over the last 10 years and I loved it.
Save money on your pension, 'cause you're not likely to have one, but you won't be able to work forever.

Then do what you want to do, take holidays and stay at home till you feel you (or your parents) want you to be independent. There’s a difference between living at home because you’re saving for your independent future and living at home because you prefer the comfort of living with your parents, with no thought to the future. I honestly don’t see why you can’t save some and live at home and have a holiday a year.

There isn't. But you can't spend your whole life living holiday to holiday and expecting "home" to just be waiting for you, maintained by someone else.

Kids think about what it is going to make them happy right now and spend their money on short term adventures.

Young adults think about building what they need for future happiness and contentedness.

Unless you are on a VERY good salary, you can't do both.

What's the difference between 'travelling' and going on holiday?

I’m a travel addict and always have been but I’d be using this opportunity to save. I can’t see why you can’t do both.
Saving £400 per month would be a lump sum of more than 25k in five’s year time.
Also you can continue to travel during all stages of life it’s not a now or never thing. I’ve taken my 3 DC to 45 countries.

You won't be able to retire because you are not planning for it.
If you bought a little flat when you are 30 and paid off the mortgage over 30 years you'll be well on your way to being able to retire.
You could save around £1k a month for the next 4 years and you'll have a chunk of moemy for a deposit on a small flat.
Residing yourself to never retiring is ensuring that will happen. Those who retire have spent years planning and saving for it.
Im not saying its easy and I financial messed up in my 20s but pulled it together by the time I was late 20s but even that small amount of time I missed out means I have set myself back slightly.
People are advising you with hindsight.
Im surprised your parents having instilled saving into you. My children are well aware that they need to save and its non negotiable. They are between 11 and 14 and know that an LISA is going to be an important tool for them.

I really suggest you change your mindset?

I don’t mean that offensively but when you say I “cannot afford…..to save for a deposit / a pension etc” then you won’t develop a strategy to do those things. There are so many things you can do to achieve those things and having some experiences too.

I did not start my career building till I was 25 due to university and a gap year / extra time to secure a graduate role. But I made sure it would allow me to earn a decent income despite starting later than others. While I did some travel, when I was late 20s I had a role that allowed me to travel for work so I killed two birds with one stone. I also lived overseas multiple times. Maybe try something like that?

For me a holiday is just going to one place, a beach holiday etc. travelling is actually seeing the places you’re going to and moving around on your time off.

Well in one of those who bought a house ( well first flat) at 21. Then upgraded to a house which sold and back to a flat again.

But I don't consider my life cripplingly boring tbh. I spent months each year travelling, and not stuck working for some corporate outfit restricted to 28 days off each year etc

I have friends, a live out partner, good social ife etc. Kids all independent so not restricted

Probably a more interesting life than someone a decade younger with primary aged kids anda big mortgage

Who think MN thinks there’s only one way to do it.

Travelling is when you’re on a more lengthy ‘adventure’. You’re not sure where tomorrow will take you. A holiday is booked with a start and end date and authorised by your work if you work. OP has holidays.

As long as you contribute to the household and all concerned are happy with the situation I don't think anyone else has the right to say anything about your living situation.

Enjoy your travels and new experiences!

@WeCouldBeNice it sounds like your brother is jealous. As long as your parents are happy then it’s nothing to do with your siblings. You have a job and contribute to the bills and you’re only young once, so why inbetween work wouldn’t you travel if that’s your passion? Some young people just can’t stand living at home and would rather prioritise living alone, even if that means renting but we’re all different. In my culture, it’s always been common for all children to live with their parents until they’re ready to move out. This enabled me to save for a hefty deposit on my first house which has had the knock on effect of not being dependant on any man as before 30 I already had my own mortgaged property and career.

All I would say though is do prioritise your pension now whilst you’re in your 20s and anything else after your travels lock it away in an ISA and keep do8g this every year - it’s money which after a couple of years may be able to make a significant difference to you.

Also, even if you do stay home forever and your parents are still happy with that arrangement, I guess it will be comforting to them to have support in their elderly years.

You don’t know you won’t retire, that doesn’t mean anything. Everyone has to retire eventually as they stop being able to work physically and mentally.

It’s not the not moving out at issue, its fine to live at home if your parents let you, but you need to have a viable life strategy, instead you just have glib dramatic statements. Use the opportunity of being able to live at home to bank as much money as you can. I saved 10k a year living at home after uni unitl I had a good deposit.

Making hay when you’re young just makes for a miserable life from middle age onwards and there’s an awful lot of life to get through post 40. It’s easier to be poor and frugal when you’re young with plenty of energy, good health and no dependents. If you plan right, you’ll have plenty of time to make hay when you’re older.

you are so young, make the most of it!

That's a worrying attitude
I'm very glad my adult children do not have your attitude
They have prioritised getting on the housing ladder and looking to their future

Most people your age are living at home to save a deposit OR because rents are high.

You're in a 'deprived area' so I'm guessing NE or maybe even Scotland.

But it is affordable for you to move out and rent- you just don't want to.
Whereas in some parts of England, a house share is £1200 a month so those young people have no choice other than live with their family.

I'm going to hazard a guess that your NHS job isn't related in any way to your degree and that it's an admin job on the very lowest scale. The pay isn't low because of your location - it's low because of the job it is.

Out of interest are you repaying your student loan? Or did your parents fund your degree and living expenses?

I’d be embarrassed to be mooching off my parents at your age. I left home for Uni at 18 and fully supported myself financially from that time on, and I lived in shared houses, dodgy parts of towns etc wasn’t particularly well paid.
I didn’t have the money to travel much. Lots of people don’t own houses but still nagar to live as functioning adults.
IMHO your parents are mugs for letting you stay and financing you while you spend your own money on luxuries for yourself.

It’s not affordable.

im not in the NE or Scotland. I’m in an area that’s tourism driven and so rents are incredibly high - my entire salary would go on rent, council tax, bills and potentially food. It’s not enough.