I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

Nothing wrong with travelling, I’m all for it. But more sensible to work abroad so you’re travelling and earning at the same time.

@Imanautumn Because she has siblings, who when the time comes, have as much right as OP does for an inheritance if there is one. If care home fees are needed OP can't bleat to the council that her travelling desires over the years means the house shouldn't get sold to pay for those fees.

But the reality is that unless OP starts worrying about it soon, she is unlikely to ever be able to afford a mortgage or to have children unless she becomes a cock lodger or her NHS income triples. She will likely live in grotty rental with no money for holidays. OP isn't off travelling, she is taking holidays during annual leave. Plenty of financially sensible people manage to take holidays whilst paying a mortgage.

I think you can find some balance for the happiness of your future self.

My friend at uni was irritated that her boyfriends parents made him save some of his wages each month. She said it infantalised him and they wanted to enjoy going out and holidays etc. When they were wanting to buy a house (I'm guessing 2005) she was very grateful that he had the 20k deposit and said as much. She had nothing at all.

You have said that you are 26. If you save just £200 each month until you are 36 you will have 24k - before you add any compounding interest. And compounding interest can make a big difference.

If you are not needing to buy a house at 36 just keep going, but if you have a partner and want children you might find that you want to buy a house and that between both of your salaries and savings that you can.

I opened my son a pension when he was born. I started saving £20 each month and gradually increased it over the years to £50 each month. He has about 12k in it so far and that's from only saving £50 or less monthly. The calculators estimate if I never paid another penny in he could have about 80k at 65.

I suppose that the siblings who don't like your choices are probably half siblings? They seem to be much older than you. When your mother escaped her abusive marriage did her saviour already have children? If so I can quite appreciate that they might not like you having your feet so firmly under what they regard as their father's table.

As someone in their mid 30s looking for a family home i suggest u get a cheap house put it up for rent. That way u are getting an income and its a safety net for if you want to move out someday. No rush if u and parents are happy x

Rental reform laws have made this option far higher risk and more stressful unfortunately. If you get lucky with a good tenant then it is a great option, if you get a bad tenant then you will be at the mercy of a backlogged legal system to evict them, and i imagine that landlord insurance (which was always expensive) has gone up in price to account for this.

Suspect that your brothers have more of an eye on the long game here. If you never move out, end up supporting aged and infirm parents and inherit more than them as a consequence. That's what's bugging them in my opinion.

Money and family is divisive.

I know people who were obsessed with getting on the property ladder in their 20s, worked full-time to do so, had babies the moment they got their house, and now have bigger houses with mortgages more or less paid off. They are in their 40s now and materially well-off — but usually have absolutely crushingly rigid and boring lives, with so many responsibilities that they are unable to fully explore their potential and enjoy their lives. I think living outside of the capitalist imperative to work so you can buy a house is no bad thing, if you can afford that. But do bear in mind that housing security becomes more important as you age...

I was similar at your age. I didn't live at home but lived in boarding school accommodation on a heavily subsidised rent. Probably also earning about 25K in my initial years of teaching in the late 2000s. I did lots of travelling in school holidays and spent my whole salary each month.

I've just bought my first house now at 41. It's a little late in the day and it's almost certainly a smaller property than if I'd saved harder in my 20s. But I'm single and don't need a big place. I'll have to work till I'm 70 which is a risk as obviously I can't predict my health. But on balance I'd say I'm happy with my choices and I love that I've seen so many countries (especially now I can't afford another holiday ever again 😆)

I don't think YABU.

I'm not much older than you (31) but I have a 10 year old daughter and no I can't imagine throwing her out into the world to get stuck into the rat race of survival.

I'd be happy to facilitate her and given the cost of living, fully expect my children to live with us in our little home well into young adulthood. I'd prefer it if they travelled a lot tbh so we got a bit of alone time!

I'd be encouraging my DC to get on the property ladder as soon as possible
The time to travel is on a gap year from uni age 18/19 ..after that your an adult and need to stand on your own two feet ,not leach off your parents.
No wonder your brothers are not happy

Do what makes you happy. If your parents are on board who cares.
You've got a good job and your health, you never know when that will end.

My daughter is 23, she's at home. It's really not like it was when I was her age.
Actual affordable rent etc.

If you can, I think it’s great to spend your 20s having fun. That said I’d also remember that 36 year old you and 46 old you might not have quite the same approach to life/priorites. And there might come a point in the future when you regret the feeling of not having a home of your own. At 26 many people would think having a great relationship with your parents and living with them is nice/cute, especially in a tough housing environment. But when you’re 46 people may be quite judgemental about it. Would that bother you?

It’s a generational thing. I think you are naive and entitled, but that seems to be the biggest trait of your age group. You’re also building a co-dependency with your parents which is not healthy for you or them or your future partner.

Silly post
Renting is even more expensive so you would be paying someone else mortgage whilst living in a rented dump
Their mortgages are paid off so just what are these crushing responsibilities?

Nothing wrong with still living at home if your parents are happy for you to do so.. but I would definitely find a balance between travelling & saving. You need that financial cushion there. Don't limit your future options just for the sake of wanting to constantly be on a holiday.

Posting purely to say don’t think your pension is taken care of. The NHS pension will be dialled back further over the next few years and your salary isn’t very high. Unless you’ve got professional quals to support decent salary progression, you might not end up with a great pension. Yes better than earning £25k in another sector with a worse pension provision, but not likely high enough to have a comfortable retirement.

Nothing wrong with living at home - sensible in the circumstances. Travelling and holidays - great. But you need to be saving up every month.

As a pp says, your DPs won’t be young forever. One day they’ll need to sell up to downsize or move to a care home: what will you do then?

Or if you meet someone and they want to go halves buying a flat, but you can’t because you haven’t saved.

If you’re living at home, paying low rent to your parents you should put £250 a month or whatever you can afford in to a LISA or high interest savings account.

If you don’t plan on buying a house that’s up to you- but think about where you’ll live when you’re an elderly lady, and don’t assume you’ll just inherit your DP’s house - it may have been sold and/or your siblings will presumably want a share.

I think at 26 you're not that young and should start to plan for the future. Save for a house or retirement it's better to start early, whilst also havibg some fun money to holiday.
On the other hand, as PP have said you're travelling seems more like holidaying? If you want to properly travel why not do ESL. Or continue holidaying but also save more.
Enjoy it while you can but things always change OP and having more of a balance will make sure you don't regret decisions in future. Don't bury your head in the sand.

Stay at home as long as you can

You seem to be sure you are absolutely doing the right thing. Not sure what the point of posting is.

You are doing the right thing and anyone who disagrees is just jealous tbh. Good for you, enjoy!!

kids mainly, but also work, ageing parents, siblings, maintaining a big house... I'm not saying don't think about housing security. I'm saying doing so in your 20s instead of enjoying and living life is probably better for most people.

Im a daughter that got to live at home till she ws 26, and as long as I paid rent, could do what I wanted however i didnt travel (i jusr spent thevmoney on horses!). My parents weren't fussed at me moving out - the plan was to build in the field attached to house.

But I did at 27 after meeting someone and at 30 we bought a house. I am grateful for the time I got at home to be honest as my parents died 4 and 6 yrs later.

My daughter wants to go away to uni. But she wants to come back home. My son is 12 and the thought of moving out eight now actively makes him so upset. I am glad they want to stay with us, and will allow them to as long as they contribute. I want them to experience life more than I did tbh. My parents experienced life a lot, and I want that for my kids as I didnt. Also, if they want their own space they can have a static on our land before they take the leap (as long as they contribute!!).

Life is too short. If I go when my parents do i have juat over 20 years with them left.