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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In Law Wedding Drama

112 replies

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:29

Hi all

My DPs cousin got married yesterday. I have made previous thread about this as we assumed I wasnt invited until really recently, and by time I was told, I couldn't make it (no space for dogs & cats at carter/kennels) but ultimately, DP decided he would go on his own and I would stay behind to look after the pets.

The wedding was 2.5 hours drive away, so it meant DP had to stay overnight.

Anyway, on the day, DPs car broke down about half an hour from home. I had to pick him up and car got towed to garage to assess the work. They figures out what was needed, but could only fix it on Monday, which meany DP had no car. There is also no public transport can get you there directly and would require 2 trains and 2 buses, plus a taxi. I didn't offer to drive him up, as its a 5 hour round journey and I had ASD son for the day and planned activities etc.

Unfortunately, this meant that DP couldn't get up to the wedding.

Anyhow - about 2 weeks ago, me and DP had a photoshoot for some nice photos for our wedding website etc. We weren't expecting these back so soon from the photographer, but we got them back today. I was delighted with them and put up a post on my own social media, tagging DP, with a few of the photos.

Now, several of DPs family have started drama and fights with DP.

They're accusing us of having got the photos yesterday (bit of a reach when you consider how long it takes to edit etc)

A few have taken a strop and said they aren't coming to our wedding now, as "DP bunked off the wedding for the photos".

This is absolutely not the case.

I posted these up as I received them back and wanted to share with my own family and friends.

AIBU in sharing these photos?

The bride and groom in question yesterday, are not even on social media, just other family members.

OP posts:
parietal · 05/10/2025 21:37

They are all being ridiculous. Just tell them that DPs car broke down and separately you posted some photos taken 2 weeks ago. And ask what they are bothered about.

FuzzyWolf · 05/10/2025 21:39

That frees up some invites for friends then if they aren’t coming to your wedding.

Maddy70 · 05/10/2025 21:41

You are all being ridiculous tbh. Way too much drama

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:43

Maddy70 · 05/10/2025 21:41

You are all being ridiculous tbh. Way too much drama

I havent responded or done anything - lol

OP posts:
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:45

parietal · 05/10/2025 21:37

They are all being ridiculous. Just tell them that DPs car broke down and separately you posted some photos taken 2 weeks ago. And ask what they are bothered about.

Yep, well I expected DPs mum to at least have pur backs on it, but apparently not. Now she is even questioning DP about if they were actually taken yesterday!

There was a weather warning and bad wind/rain, so I have no idea why they would think that when its sunny and still in the photos!

OP posts:
TheatricalLife · 05/10/2025 21:45

I'd post proof that it wasn't yesterday (booking form or similar) then unfollow them all on social media and be happy it's a few less twats to pay for at your wedding. I'd not engage in any further conversation after showing them the proof.

Maddy70 · 05/10/2025 21:46

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:43

I havent responded or done anything - lol

Explain what really happened

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 21:46

You put photos for your "wedding website" the day after the wedding of a family member, which your husband bailed out of for silly reasons on the actual day?

Did he even ask someone for a lift - or partial lift there?

Wow. Bold move. 😂You REALLY don't like his family or anyone else getting attention do you?

Needing a photoshoot for your "wedding website" BEFORE the wedding was a clue to be fair.

Hankunamatata · 05/10/2025 21:47

Is there a reason dh couldnt take your car and you have day at home with dc?

outerspacepotato · 05/10/2025 21:48

Post the tow bill and uninvite whoever was bitching.

Your future MIL doesn't care for you and won't have your back. Good info to know now.

BMW6 · 05/10/2025 21:49

I think your timing was terrible.

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:50

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 21:46

You put photos for your "wedding website" the day after the wedding of a family member, which your husband bailed out of for silly reasons on the actual day?

Did he even ask someone for a lift - or partial lift there?

Wow. Bold move. 😂You REALLY don't like his family or anyone else getting attention do you?

Needing a photoshoot for your "wedding website" BEFORE the wedding was a clue to be fair.

He had asked. But nobody was free for a lift 2.5 hours away or they would have missed the wedding themselves

And why would I not put up my own photos? I wasnt at the wedding - I told them when I got the invite that I couldn't go unfortunately and bride and groom dont have social media, and I only have DPs mum and sisters on mine? So why couldn't I share on my own profile to my family and friends?

Maybe its because I personally wouldnt care if someone did this after my wedding, and others may not have the same attitude

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 05/10/2025 21:50

Slightly insensitive to put out the photos on social media so close to the wedding your dp didn't go too but we all make mistakes. I'd unfollow all from social media and keep repeating that the cow broke down. Take it you only had the one car hence why dp didn't take yours

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:51

Hankunamatata · 05/10/2025 21:47

Is there a reason dh couldnt take your car and you have day at home with dc?

I needed my car that day and the following day - and he isnt insured to drive my car anyway.

OP posts:
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:52

Londonrach1 · 05/10/2025 21:50

Slightly insensitive to put out the photos on social media so close to the wedding your dp didn't go too but we all make mistakes. I'd unfollow all from social media and keep repeating that the cow broke down. Take it you only had the one car hence why dp didn't take yours

Edited

Well, I didnt think it was insensitive as bride and groom aren't on social media so wouldnt have even seen them.

Nope, he isnt insured to drive my car and I need mine for my son (ASD needs)

OP posts:
TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 21:52

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:51

I needed my car that day and the following day - and he isnt insured to drive my car anyway.

you are getting more and more ridiculous. As if he couldn't be added on the insurance 😂

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:53

Also, to add, the photographer gave me a heads up that he was making a post on his page too - we are both tagged

If I didn't post them, they may have seen them anyhow

OP posts:
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:54

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 21:52

you are getting more and more ridiculous. As if he couldn't be added on the insurance 😂

Last minute, on the day, at the roadside?

OP posts:
NutButterOnToast · 05/10/2025 21:56

It's DPs problem to solve, nothing to do with OP.

He could have hired a car, it's not up to her to give him her car which would have left her without any transport.

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:56

outerspacepotato · 05/10/2025 21:48

Post the tow bill and uninvite whoever was bitching.

Your future MIL doesn't care for you and won't have your back. Good info to know now.

DP is also fuming with his mum for not correcting them on the fact these weren't taken yesterday.

She seems to love drama and stirring the pot though, so it doesnt surprise me.

OP posts:
TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 21:57

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:50

He had asked. But nobody was free for a lift 2.5 hours away or they would have missed the wedding themselves

And why would I not put up my own photos? I wasnt at the wedding - I told them when I got the invite that I couldn't go unfortunately and bride and groom dont have social media, and I only have DPs mum and sisters on mine? So why couldn't I share on my own profile to my family and friends?

Maybe its because I personally wouldnt care if someone did this after my wedding, and others may not have the same attitude

come back to us after your own wedding when guests didn't turn up at the last minute, will you 😂You will change your tune so fast.

I can't think of anyone who would post photos about their own wedding the DAY after a relative's wedding they declined (even in-laws), or even worst just didn't turn up.

It's extremely rare I think that, but on this occasion, do I feel sorry for your MIL

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:00

NutButterOnToast · 05/10/2025 21:56

It's DPs problem to solve, nothing to do with OP.

He could have hired a car, it's not up to her to give him her car which would have left her without any transport.

Well, yep thats it, isn't it?

I politely declined the wedding invite as I couldn't go. Made plans with my DS who has ASD and needs plans/routine to be kept and we cant use public transport as he runs away etc and its a safety concern.

I did mention to DP if he could ask around anyone, or if there was any way up, but ultimately he decided to come back home instead.

I couldn't cancel or let down my DS to let my DP drive my car, uninsured on a 5 your round trip

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 05/10/2025 22:00

You can add someone onto your car insurance on the day. I have had to when DS’s car broke down and he needed to use my car.

Never heard of anyone having photos before a wedding

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:02

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 21:57

come back to us after your own wedding when guests didn't turn up at the last minute, will you 😂You will change your tune so fast.

I can't think of anyone who would post photos about their own wedding the DAY after a relative's wedding they declined (even in-laws), or even worst just didn't turn up.

It's extremely rare I think that, but on this occasion, do I feel sorry for your MIL

If it was a legitimate emergency, I dont think.it would bother me at all.

As long as my close family and close friends are able to make it - I will be happy.

Just to note, if it were my family, one of mine would hands down drive down and pick up somebody as a favour.

OP posts:
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:04

sittingonabeach · 05/10/2025 22:00

You can add someone onto your car insurance on the day. I have had to when DS’s car broke down and he needed to use my car.

Never heard of anyone having photos before a wedding

Its all well and good if you can give someone your car for the day, but I couldn't, I needed my car, as I had care of my son all day who has additional needs and cant use public transport.

OP posts:
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