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AIBU?

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Original poster

In Law Wedding Drama

112 replies

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:29

Hi all

My DPs cousin got married yesterday. I have made previous thread about this as we assumed I wasnt invited until really recently, and by time I was told, I couldn't make it (no space for dogs & cats at carter/kennels) but ultimately, DP decided he would go on his own and I would stay behind to look after the pets.

The wedding was 2.5 hours drive away, so it meant DP had to stay overnight.

Anyway, on the day, DPs car broke down about half an hour from home. I had to pick him up and car got towed to garage to assess the work. They figures out what was needed, but could only fix it on Monday, which meany DP had no car. There is also no public transport can get you there directly and would require 2 trains and 2 buses, plus a taxi. I didn't offer to drive him up, as its a 5 hour round journey and I had ASD son for the day and planned activities etc.

Unfortunately, this meant that DP couldn't get up to the wedding.

Anyhow - about 2 weeks ago, me and DP had a photoshoot for some nice photos for our wedding website etc. We weren't expecting these back so soon from the photographer, but we got them back today. I was delighted with them and put up a post on my own social media, tagging DP, with a few of the photos.

Now, several of DPs family have started drama and fights with DP.

They're accusing us of having got the photos yesterday (bit of a reach when you consider how long it takes to edit etc)

A few have taken a strop and said they aren't coming to our wedding now, as "DP bunked off the wedding for the photos".

This is absolutely not the case.

I posted these up as I received them back and wanted to share with my own family and friends.

AIBU in sharing these photos?

The bride and groom in question yesterday, are not even on social media, just other family members.

OP posts:
TheatricalLife · 05/10/2025 22:05

sittingonabeach · 05/10/2025 22:00

You can add someone onto your car insurance on the day. I have had to when DS’s car broke down and he needed to use my car.

Never heard of anyone having photos before a wedding

Really?! Pre wedding photos have been a thing for years. I got married in 2003 and there were people doing it then. I didn't personally, but it's not a new thing at all.

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 22:07

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:02

If it was a legitimate emergency, I dont think.it would bother me at all.

As long as my close family and close friends are able to make it - I will be happy.

Just to note, if it were my family, one of mine would hands down drive down and pick up somebody as a favour.

Show quote history

It wasn't an emergency at all, but that's not even the point.

Choosing to post the photos about yourself and your wedding on social media that very weekend is making a point, don't play all innocent and naive.

At least own it.

I think it's funny, but I love bridzillas stories 😂

Sevillian · 05/10/2025 22:09

Supremely bad form to post these pre-wedding photos of yourself on the day your DP couldn't get to his cousin's wedding. Incredibly insensitive and incredibly self indulgent. I'm not in the least surprised his family are seriously unimpressed.

SadOldLadyOfTheLowlands · 05/10/2025 22:10

Londonrach1 · 05/10/2025 21:50

Slightly insensitive to put out the photos on social media so close to the wedding your dp didn't go too but we all make mistakes. I'd unfollow all from social media and keep repeating that the cow broke down. Take it you only had the one car hence why dp didn't take yours

Edited

Why on earth???

Original poster
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:13

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 22:07

It wasn't an emergency at all, but that's not even the point.

Choosing to post the photos about yourself and your wedding on social media that very weekend is making a point, don't play all innocent and naive.

At least own it.

I think it's funny, but I love bridzillas stories 😂

Show quote history

To be honest I was excited to share them with MY family and friends that it wasnt even a thought I had that anyone would take a huff!

Like I said, bride and groom aren't even on any social media - so didnt think it would be an issue

OP posts:
LunaDeBallona · 05/10/2025 22:14

What on earth is a ‘wedding website’?
Im hoping it’s a business but l’ve got an odd feeling it’s something really cringe different……..

Original poster
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:15

Sevillian · 05/10/2025 22:09

Supremely bad form to post these pre-wedding photos of yourself on the day your DP couldn't get to his cousin's wedding. Incredibly insensitive and incredibly self indulgent. I'm not in the least surprised his family are seriously unimpressed.

Well, technically not on the day, the next day,and shared after the photographer already put them up and tagged us, so they would have seen them anyway...

Not my fault that the photographer happened to finish the edits and post/send them today!

OP posts:
Original poster
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:17

LunaDeBallona · 05/10/2025 22:14

What on earth is a ‘wedding website’?
Im hoping it’s a business but l’ve got an odd feeling it’s something really cringe different……..

Nothing that unusual, just for RSVPs, wedding info for guests, gift list etc

Just trying to make RSVP process a bit easier, but the one we are using needs your own photos otherwise its stock photos, and we didnt have any nice, posed ones, so got some done (it was also part of our photography wedding package)

OP posts:
TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 22:20

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:15

Well, technically not on the day, the next day,and shared after the photographer already put them up and tagged us, so they would have seen them anyway...

Not my fault that the photographer happened to finish the edits and post/send them today!

Show quote history

Did your photographer put the photos on YOUR social media?

Of course it's your fault 😂

With all that going on just for your "wedding website", I would love to follow the rest of the wedding stories, it's going to be a good one. The bridesmaids will have a blast 😂

Endofyear · 05/10/2025 22:20

Your DP could have hired a car if he really wanted to go to the wedding. It's really nothing to do with you if his family are having a big drama, I'd stay well out of it and let DP sort it out. You don't have to get involved at all. I'd be wary about marrying into a family that loves a drama though - you'll end up with a lifetime of it!

PullTheBricksDown · 05/10/2025 22:22

In these pre wedding photos, are you wearing your bride and groom outfits then, so it's like advance wedding photos? Or something else?

Original poster
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:22

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 22:20

Did your photographer put the photos on YOUR social media?

Of course it's your fault 😂

With all that going on just for your "wedding website", I would love to follow the rest of the wedding stories, it's going to be a good one. The bridesmaids will have a blast 😂

Show quote history

We were tagged in the post - anyone who is our friend would see it pop up on their feed at some point anyhow

Luckily my MOH is exactly like me - two peas in a pod, bring on the antics, cant wait to see how many distant family members we can piss off

OP posts:
Bambamhoohoo · 05/10/2025 22:22

It’s usual for there to be jealously and angst when young family members start getting married, especially when it happens close to each other. You’ll have your day soon enough

Original poster
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:24

PullTheBricksDown · 05/10/2025 22:22

In these pre wedding photos, are you wearing your bride and groom outfits then, so it's like advance wedding photos? Or something else?

No, just normal clothes, jeans and jumper and it was taken two weeks ago at a botanical garden near us

It was part of pur wedding package to have an "engagement shoot", but all the photos were just us walking, sitting on a bench etc. I spared the photos of any close up ring etc as its not my style

OP posts:
Owly11 · 05/10/2025 22:25

He should have taken your car - you can get insurance by the day and the wedding was the priority over anything you had planned. It was also insensitive to post your own photos the same weekend of their wedding. You are being unreasonable.

Original poster
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:26

Bambamhoohoo · 05/10/2025 22:22

It’s usual for there to be jealously and angst when young family members start getting married, especially when it happens close to each other. You’ll have your day soon enough

Maybe I am just too laid back, or attended too many family weddings/friend weddings to really care if someone posted up photos of their other half in a photoshoot done weeks ago the following day after my wedding

My friend got engaged and posted up photos the night after my engagement party - did I care? No! I was delighted my friend was getting married too

Very weird behaviour to me - but like I said, maybe thats just me!

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 05/10/2025 22:27

sittingonabeach · 05/10/2025 22:00

You can add someone onto your car insurance on the day. I have had to when DS’s car broke down and he needed to use my car.

Never heard of anyone having photos before a wedding

Well you have now.

Original poster
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:28

Owly11 · 05/10/2025 22:25

He should have taken your car - you can get insurance by the day and the wedding was the priority over anything you had planned. It was also insensitive to post your own photos the same weekend of their wedding. You are being unreasonable.

If its any consolation, the photographer had also posted them with us tagged, as the photos were done and sent to us.

Even if I didnt put them up, people would have seen them

OP posts:
GoodOldTrayBake · 05/10/2025 22:30

Urgh you all sounds as bad as each other.

”Wedding website photoshoot”.

And yeh posting it the day after a family member wedding is a poor move. They might be your DPs family, but if you’re getting married, they will soon be your family and so you should show a bit more tact and class.

And why are you extending the drama by posting on MN? Just send them a screenshot of your photoshoot appointment date from two weeks ago and a screenshot of your car breakdown service invoice. Evidence provided. Drama over immediately. Hopefully apology given. Move on.

But I think you like the drama…

GoodOldTrayBake · 05/10/2025 22:31

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:28

If its any consolation, the photographer had also posted them with us tagged, as the photos were done and sent to us.

Even if I didnt put them up, people would have seen them

Show quote history

I’m sure you could have messaged the photographer and asked for the tags to be removed or for the upload to be delayed by a few days. But as I said in my previous post, it sounds like you like the drama and you come across as very ‘me me me’ - so the idea of you considering someone else’s feelings before your own may be an alien concept

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 22:31

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:22

We were tagged in the post - anyone who is our friend would see it pop up on their feed at some point anyhow

Luckily my MOH is exactly like me - two peas in a pod, bring on the antics, cant wait to see how many distant family members we can piss off

Show quote history

that's not what you said at all, you wrote that YOU put them on your own social media.

Hardly the same as being tagged, which you can keep private for a few days anyway.

Luckily my MOH is exactly like me
fabulous, around a bridzilla like you, what could possibly go wrong 😂😂

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 05/10/2025 22:32

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:51

I needed my car that day and the following day - and he isnt insured to drive my car anyway.

Show quote history

Half of this is a valid excuse, but the other isn’t: he easily could have paid to be insured on your car for the duration of the trip.

TheLemonPeach · 05/10/2025 22:33

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:26

Maybe I am just too laid back, or attended too many family weddings/friend weddings to really care if someone posted up photos of their other half in a photoshoot done weeks ago the following day after my wedding

My friend got engaged and posted up photos the night after my engagement party - did I care? No! I was delighted my friend was getting married too

Very weird behaviour to me - but like I said, maybe thats just me!

Show quote history

Yes, it's just you.

Most people would have just kept a low profile and not try to bring all the attention to themselves and their future wedding in such circumstances.

Original poster
ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:34

GoodOldTrayBake · 05/10/2025 22:30

Urgh you all sounds as bad as each other.

”Wedding website photoshoot”.

And yeh posting it the day after a family member wedding is a poor move. They might be your DPs family, but if you’re getting married, they will soon be your family and so you should show a bit more tact and class.

And why are you extending the drama by posting on MN? Just send them a screenshot of your photoshoot appointment date from two weeks ago and a screenshot of your car breakdown service invoice. Evidence provided. Drama over immediately. Hopefully apology given. Move on.

But I think you like the drama…

We did send screenshots of WhatsApp arrangements with our photographer and videos of the car broke down being towed away .. Lol. Apparently, we are both liars

OP posts:
Sevillian · 05/10/2025 22:35

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 22:15

Well, technically not on the day, the next day,and shared after the photographer already put them up and tagged us, so they would have seen them anyway...

Not my fault that the photographer happened to finish the edits and post/send them today!

Show quote history

The photographer won't be allowed to put them up on an independent website without your prior approval.

You also went pro-active and chose to put them on your own social media too.

Incredible.

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