In Law Wedding Drama

[ellie09]

Hi all

My DPs cousin got married yesterday. I have made previous thread about this as we assumed I wasnt invited until really recently, and by time I was told, I couldn't make it (no space for dogs & cats at carter/kennels) but ultimately, DP decided he would go on his own and I would stay behind to look after the pets.

The wedding was 2.5 hours drive away, so it meant DP had to stay overnight.

Anyway, on the day, DPs car broke down about half an hour from home. I had to pick him up and car got towed to garage to assess the work. They figures out what was needed, but could only fix it on Monday, which meany DP had no car. There is also no public transport can get you there directly and would require 2 trains and 2 buses, plus a taxi. I didn't offer to drive him up, as its a 5 hour round journey and I had ASD son for the day and planned activities etc.

Unfortunately, this meant that DP couldn't get up to the wedding.

Anyhow - about 2 weeks ago, me and DP had a photoshoot for some nice photos for our wedding website etc. We weren't expecting these back so soon from the photographer, but we got them back today. I was delighted with them and put up a post on my own social media, tagging DP, with a few of the photos.

Now, several of DPs family have started drama and fights with DP.

They're accusing us of having got the photos yesterday (bit of a reach when you consider how long it takes to edit etc)

A few have taken a strop and said they aren't coming to our wedding now, as "DP bunked off the wedding for the photos".

This is absolutely not the case.

I posted these up as I received them back and wanted to share with my own family and friends.

AIBU in sharing these photos?

The bride and groom in question yesterday, are not even on social media, just other family members.

Yes, I posted them as well as the photographer because I was excited to share them with people close to me

A DP's cousins wedding, that I did not go to, dont have most of the family on my social media and no bride and groom on any social media platforms, I thought it was pretty safe to post without any fall out - I thought wrong clearly

Well then I would surmise that there is a lot more going on and your in laws really don’t like you and are using this as an excuse to make this clear

Well, what can you do then 🤷‍♀️ if they don't believe you when you've shown proof, there isn't any point in continuing a conversation about it. If people choose not to come to your wedding then that's up to them. I wouldn't engage with the drama.

This is what I have told DP.

At the end of the day, I gave DP options that he could try to get up to the wedding, but he decided to come home instead.

I posted photos because I was excited about getting them and wanted to share with MY family and friends (most of his family are NOT on my social media, except his mum and sisters), I gave DP a choice on to accept the post on his wall (and he accepted it on) and didnt think this would be an issue, as the photos dont exactly scream "bridal" or "engagement" - just us posing next to some flowers in our jeans and jacket - two weeks ago!

You win some, you lose some, eh?

I think it’s bad form to let someone down in their wedding day. Why couldn’t he have driven your car? It takes 5 minutes to get short term car insurance for a couple of days or add him to yours. If you were staying at home to look after animals you could have given up your car surely?

Well, even if I could have given him my car, surely the fact he didnt ask etc isnt exactly my fault. I was out and about with DS at the time and didnt even get his call/text until half an hour after he broke down and had stuff to do all day

He called me at the garage to be picked up - I tried to give him some alternatives but he said he wanted to come home

Um? ... You could have done something different with your son as this is a one- off important event... Once he missed the wedding - that is for ever!

Or did your OP not really fancy going? And the car break down was a relief?

No one would suggest you would encourage him to drive uninsured... Adding someone to the insurance takes less than 15 mins..
I've done it for friends for my car for a few days use...

@ellie09Ah so actually ...the car breakdown WAS a relief for him.....

Try changing plans with my son! His ASD means he is so rigid with plans/routine that the sudden change would have cause a meltdown for the rest of the day and night, which isnt ideal when trying to look after a dog and two cats as well

I cant speak for DP but he wasnt exactly happy about all the travelling etc, but I had encouraged him to go as he would have a lovely time

For our wedding, we booked somewhere close by to his side of the family (5-10 min drive for most) and it'll be my side travelling almost 2 hours to our wedding

I didnt think about the insurance at the time, as I depend on my car for DS (its a motability car for his safety as he cant use public transport)

I cant speak for DP, but I was GUTTED O couldn't go - I love a wedding!

He didnt seem too thrilled about going but I encouraged him to go, as I felt bad that I couldn't make it

when trying to look after a dog and two cats as well

How much looking after do your "2 cats" need??😂

so bad that to cheer yourself up, you decided to immediately put professional photos about your own wedding on social media, for his family to see.

Thoughts and prayers in these difficult times for you 😂

I don’t think legally you could have insured your dp on a notability car as it’s meant to be for your ds carer to drive him around

Cancelling on the day of a wedding is really rude and you'll understand that soon. Your DP sounds a bit hopeless.

This is the third post about this wedding, you're trying to act all cool but you def love the drama.
It was very tasteless to put them up so soon. People would have been disappointed he didn't attend the wedding and then to see photos up is a kick in the face. Although, I'm starting to think you're loving all this attention.

Me me me

It’s all a bit MAFS, innit.

So you posted some photos relating to your wedding on the cousins wedding day that DP didn't turn up to. I personally think by posting those pics you were asking for trouble/drama. I doubt you are that naive and probably knew that yourself and could have delayed your post for the sake of family harmony.

Yes, it can be pretty much instant - it just takes one call.

My Dad leant me his car earlier this year at short notice and it was a very quick process. Can't remember what needed to be done but it was definitely under half an hour.

If they are anything like my two princesses - a lot!

It’s tacky to bring the focus to your wedding on another person’s wedding day.
In 2025, that includes with overlapping family members on social media.

Not so much the actual care of the cats, its everyone combined - a DS that requires constant supervision because of his ASD, and being a peacemaker between two cats and a dog (who are civil but still wind each other up)

Well, if you wanted to get technical, it wasnt on the wedding day.

The photos dont look engagementy or wedding like - just professional photos of a couple (no ring pics etc). I didnt think photos of this nature would cause such a stir, especially with extended family (I would understand if it were close family, but even DP hasn't seen his cousin in years so they aren't even close)

No wedding photos are shared or will be shared, as the couple aren't even on social media!

Im beginning to think that no social media is the way to go