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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In Law Wedding Drama

112 replies

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:29

Hi all

My DPs cousin got married yesterday. I have made previous thread about this as we assumed I wasnt invited until really recently, and by time I was told, I couldn't make it (no space for dogs & cats at carter/kennels) but ultimately, DP decided he would go on his own and I would stay behind to look after the pets.

The wedding was 2.5 hours drive away, so it meant DP had to stay overnight.

Anyway, on the day, DPs car broke down about half an hour from home. I had to pick him up and car got towed to garage to assess the work. They figures out what was needed, but could only fix it on Monday, which meany DP had no car. There is also no public transport can get you there directly and would require 2 trains and 2 buses, plus a taxi. I didn't offer to drive him up, as its a 5 hour round journey and I had ASD son for the day and planned activities etc.

Unfortunately, this meant that DP couldn't get up to the wedding.

Anyhow - about 2 weeks ago, me and DP had a photoshoot for some nice photos for our wedding website etc. We weren't expecting these back so soon from the photographer, but we got them back today. I was delighted with them and put up a post on my own social media, tagging DP, with a few of the photos.

Now, several of DPs family have started drama and fights with DP.

They're accusing us of having got the photos yesterday (bit of a reach when you consider how long it takes to edit etc)

A few have taken a strop and said they aren't coming to our wedding now, as "DP bunked off the wedding for the photos".

This is absolutely not the case.

I posted these up as I received them back and wanted to share with my own family and friends.

AIBU in sharing these photos?

The bride and groom in question yesterday, are not even on social media, just other family members.

OP posts:
Bearbookagainandagain · 06/10/2025 13:12

I don't use social media anyway, but I wouldn't post or share with family the photos of my wedding (even old) so close to another family member's wedding... It just screams call for attention.
I would have waited a week or so.

Americano75 · 06/10/2025 13:19

OP, I really admire your patient responses given some seem determined to paint you in the worst light possible!

Of course you're not being unreasonable, they're being absolutely batshit.

Ponderingwindow · 06/10/2025 13:24

Wedding websites are absolutely normal and so are engagement photos. Just don’t send them out on another family member’s wedding day/weekend and you are good.

SerafinasGoose · 06/10/2025 13:33

Sounds like a storm in a teacup to me, whichever side of the equation you happen to be standing on.

In my world this comes strictly under the category of 'small stuff'.

TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 13:34

Ponderingwindow · 06/10/2025 13:24

Wedding websites are absolutely normal and so are engagement photos. Just don’t send them out on another family member’s wedding day/weekend and you are good.

especially when you (or your partner) are a very last minute no-show after you accepted the invitation

TeddySchnauzer · 06/10/2025 13:49

ellie09 · 05/10/2025 21:54

Last minute, on the day, at the roadside?

Yes! It takes seconds to add someone on!

Also what on earth has ASD got to do with needing your car? I have a child with ASD and it has absolutely no bearing on us having a car or not!

ellie09 · 06/10/2025 14:21

TeddySchnauzer · 06/10/2025 13:49

Yes! It takes seconds to add someone on!

Also what on earth has ASD got to do with needing your car? I have a child with ASD and it has absolutely no bearing on us having a car or not!

Surely as someone with an ASD child, you can understand that some have differing and higher needs than others.

He has other medical conditions, dyspraxia, poor muscle tone etc that requires a vehicle to keep him safe than navigating public transport.

I am aware that most have no issues with their mobility, unfortunately, this isnt the case with us.

OP posts:
ellie09 · 06/10/2025 14:23

Americano75 · 06/10/2025 13:19

OP, I really admire your patient responses given some seem determined to paint you in the worst light possible!

Of course you're not being unreasonable, they're being absolutely batshit.

Typical MN if I am being honest, I definitely expected an uproar of some sorts

OP posts:
TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 14:32

ellie09 · 06/10/2025 14:23

Typical MN if I am being honest, I definitely expected an uproar of some sorts

People saying that yes, you were unreasonable, when you ASKED them. Having to even ask should have been your first clue.

hardly an uproar 😂

ellie09 · 06/10/2025 14:39

TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 14:32

People saying that yes, you were unreasonable, when you ASKED them. Having to even ask should have been your first clue.

hardly an uproar 😂

Well, it has worked, because I can see that perhaps the timing of posting was probably not the best on my part and I should have thought a little bit more before posting on the wider consequences.

I still dont think my DP not making it was my fault though, and I couldn't have done much that day - I cant baby my DP and coax him into making certain decisions. Thats on him.

OP posts:
Americano75 · 06/10/2025 17:44

TeddySchnauzer · 06/10/2025 13:49

Yes! It takes seconds to add someone on!

Also what on earth has ASD got to do with needing your car? I have a child with ASD and it has absolutely no bearing on us having a car or not!

If you have a child with ASD then you'll know that no two are the same surely?

Mswarrior77 · 06/10/2025 18:14

Op, I don't think you were being unreasonable, having being accused of lying by in laws years ago over something , I totally get how upsetting it gets, I would leave any contact down to your DP, I would also think about moving your wedding closer to your family tbh!

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