Being called darling/aw bless by nursing staff

[KatyKopykat]

I do a cleaning job once a week for a neighbour who's been in hospital, she's coming up 67. She's been telling me that the nurses and hospitality staff all call patients darling incessantly. They all do it and she thought it's part of their training. I'd hope not! Another thing they keep saying is bless/aw bless.

AIBU to say this is not professional? I'm not in my sixties but I'd stop it immediately if anyone said it to me.

Because it signals: "I come in peace, I want to help/be nice/make you feel I like you."

When I was little I remember asking my mother about the way people always called the late Queen "Your Majesty." My comment was she must feel very lonely if no-one ever calls her Darling.

I guess the majority of nurses intuit that the majority of people (on this thread as well) prefer a signal of warmth to a signal of honour - especially when they are ill and vulnerable and require looking after.

Sometimes wish we did the US thing of suing Miss, Ma’am and sir! Much more respect (except when you go from being a miss to a Maam)

I thought MN didn't like men calling their current girlfriend "babe" because it sounds like he can't be bothered to remember your name, you're interchangeable, it's dehumanising, etc, etc.

Why different rules for patients? It's rude and infantilising. You might think it's an endearment but that's not necessarily what the people on the receiving are thinking.

I have never visited anyone in hospital who didn’t have their name written on a whiteboard over their bed.

I have never visited anyone in hospital and noticed, except babies who have "Baby Surname" and I thought that was because they were bald and featureless and easily muddled.

Honestly I think people are just looking for things that irritate them. People complain for literally anything. I feel for anyone who works either people trying to please and know every single individual they meet. Personalise every interaction to ensure no one’s offended, upset or angered.

I had a colonoscopy when I was in my 30s, the the recovery area everyone was farting. I appologised to the nurse who told me, "Don't worry darlin' it have to come out" I think she was Jamaican and it just seemed so nice.

@TheOnlyAletheia my brother moved to Cornwall in the 1980s and had to get used to being called, "My lover" from patients to bus drivers.

I honestly think if that's the only thing someone is worried about when they're gravely unwell to the point of being an inpatient then they must be in a very good hospital.

I used to call the nurses 'darling', all the time. It's a term of endearment. Meant with affection and kindness. I say it to my friends and neighbours and shop/hospitality staff too sometimes. When they've done something for me that's helpful.

But if she doesn't like it all she needs to do is politely say to the person she would rather not be called it.

What a strange thing to get so het up about. I hope she is able to leave hospital soon.

Yep. Give it just a few more years and you can guarantee that whenever you have another person with you when you go for your appointment the nurses will talk to them over your head, as if you were senile and incapable of rational speech.

I’m northern, generic love, darling, sweetheart etc are all normal in conversation. The thing I dislike is being “blessed”; I hate the religious connotations especially when it’s used towards someone sneezing. I’m an atheist, I really don’t want your blessings, thank you.

Yes I think the copious farting is a good example of when hiding behind the anonymity of "Darling" might be rather a relief. I would see no merit in having that linked to my name.

I don't mind 'darling' so long as it isn't used sarcastically ('look darling, you're wasting my time').. Just trying to be friendly IMO. 'Aw bless' would irritate me, though. But the main thing is whether they are giving good care.

This wouldn't bother me at all. I don't think it would register on my radar so I doubt I would even notice it.

🙄 Really ?

Checked a couple of dictionaries and they give the definition of darling as beloved. You really think you are the beloved of a nurse who just met you? Words have meanings.

They also have social usages.

What is kind about using some generic word you use to everyone, either drop it or replace it with a name which actually means something.

What would you prefer? Hello fuck face 😂

What is the point of this stupid reply?

Well using darling to anyone and everyone just diminishes its meaning, If your beloved calls everyone darling does it mean anything when they use it to you?

Pathetic isn't it.

In a hospital setting - particularly on a surgical unit - I personally would much rather be "love" than accidentally referred to by the wrong name.

My beloved doesn't use that more widely than within the family because he works in a role in which it would be highly irregular. He does not work in a role in which he is caring or tending to people who are in need of tenderness.

But if you mean were he a nurse and I heard him say to a patient something like "Right my darling, let's sort out those pillows for you", then I would be perfectly capable of differentiating between his meaning there and his meaning in a situation like asking me, on bended knee; "My Darling, will you marry me?"

Such a shame we don't have words with meanings and then you wouldn't need to differentiate.

If I'm honest, I think I'd much prefer to be warmly called Sweetie Fifi Bum Trinket by, literally anyone, rather than a chillingly clipped 'Arraminta' by @TheignT because her seething fury is a bit scary