Being called darling/aw bless by nursing staff

[KatyKopykat]

I do a cleaning job once a week for a neighbour who's been in hospital, she's coming up 67. She's been telling me that the nurses and hospitality staff all call patients darling incessantly. They all do it and she thought it's part of their training. I'd hope not! Another thing they keep saying is bless/aw bless.

AIBU to say this is not professional? I'm not in my sixties but I'd stop it immediately if anyone said it to me.

I agree. I'm in my 70s, and I would hate this. I was recently in hospital for several weeks (in the US), and no one called me anything but my name. And they used Ms Myname until I asked them to use my first name.

OK, so why address the doctor with a title in front of the patient, if that isn't how you address them when the patient isn't there? That strikes me as really passive aggressive.

I love pet names, it makes me feel warm and cared for. It’s just that lovely little interaction that makes it a more pleasant place, when patients are going through horrible things. I can’t stand clinical and polite

Is this in London area? I call everyone darling and they do me.

Best find something else to get worked up about. 🙄

FFS. 😆

The example I gave from last week was a one to one eye screening appointment. Of course she knew the patient's name!

Hmm.... Context matters. When Craig Revel Horwood ends his sentence with 'darling', he's not being affectionate, he's being condescending.

You can’t still be wanging on about this 🤣
I’m just gonna get ready for work now and obviously after reading this am going to be very careful not to refer to anyone as darling etc
Jokes will just carry on as usual 🤭

You can do whatever you like.

I returned to the thread because my neighbour told me about her appointment. I have the right to do that. "Wanging on"? Don't be so rude. Last time I looked it was a discussion board.

People with a sense of humour find his sayings funny and endearing. Must every bit of lightheartedness be over scrutinised? Meant to quote the poster slating Craig Revel-Horwood.

Have you ever been nursed in hospital by Craig?

When unwell there are times when the coothiness of being called love/darling/hen are what’s needed just as there are times to be called by your given name.

Im just glad I’m alive to hear what’s being said to me.

It's literally everywhere. Young men seem to think it's absolutely fine to call any woman they meet darlin' - I can see why giggly girls might like it but I think it's the epitomy of rudeness when talking to older women. Same goes for anyone who talks to me as I'm anything other an adult. I had my first 'aw bless' from nurse a couple of weeks ago & I'm still furious! I was talking about something very humdrum at the time, no need to speak to me as if I was a toddler who's done something clever 👿

It's habit I think, they do ut so often they don't realise they're saying it.

I hope you ask each hcp if you can use their first name if that's what you expect from them?

Honestly don't waste your energy being furious weeks later about an 'ah bless'. You said yourself you were talking about something humdrum. It was obvious extremely uninteresting or irrelevant so they were just trying to be polite and hoping you'd move on or they could get on with something more important.

Cool, just finished a night shift and I’m sure I called a few people pet names…. Oddly enough we all survived and they seemed appreciative of the help 🤗

Good for you!

It’s friendly and perhaps inevitable, but it’s really patronising, and would irritate me personally. That said, I’m not sure I’d say anything, as it seems to come from the right place and is definitely preferable to being treated coldly or off-hand.

Keep doing it ♥️

"My goddam pronouns are Her Ladyship and Ma'am, not Hen, or Duck - haven't you attended DEI?"

I'm fine with 'darling' but when people say 'aw, bless' I find it tremendously patronising. I mean from anyone, not particularly hospital staff

There is a way of conveying care and concern without talking to people like they are 3 years old

Where does it say I did that?

When I first started nursing back in the days of the dinosaurs, elderly women were often referred to as “Granny + surname” even in formal handover, and Gran when being addressed. I hated it then and always called them by their names. Elderly men of course were still called Mr ,however.