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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask is a 5bed house is a waste in these circumstances

160 replies

Chickenshwarmamarma · 04/10/2025 18:49

Young couple who have 2dc half the time (and no plans for any more!)…5bed house…is it a waste? YABU=yes ridiculous YANBU=no, each to their own.

OP posts:
AliasGrape · 04/10/2025 19:30

We have a 5 bed, we only have one child. We’ve just moved from a tiny 2 bed which we had most certainly outgrown even if there were technically enough bedrooms.

The biggest issue was us both working from home. Now we have an office each and also a guest room which is so nice.
DD has her cousins staying tonight - though to be fair they will probably still all cram into one room, it’s still nice to have the option and enough beds for them. We have a relative come for Christmas every year and this year she won’t be turfing DD out of her bed.

We’ll probably convert the garage into even more living space to be honest - we don’t really need it but it will be nice to have, especially once DD is a teen wanting her mates round etc.

We’re looking forward to doing more hosting too and having friends and family who live further away able to come and stay as they have done for us in the past.

Edit to say - I feel incredibly lucky and still pinching myself to have ended up in this house. We’d have been ultimately fine in the smaller place but this is much nicer and we could afford it (just!) with no plans to move again.

GreatWest · 04/10/2025 19:30

DH had 4 bed (2 double /2 single) to himself. I moved in and we extended it to a 5 bed (5 doubles). We only had one child. We both had a home office each (hybrid working) and the 5th bedroom came in useful when DH’s snoring became unbearable. Only child left home now and we still use every room every day. We have an office and a bedroom each. 5th bedroom doubles as a guest bed and exercise room. It is bliss. If I could magic a 6th bedroom for a Pilates reformer I would!

Praying4Peace · 04/10/2025 19:32

BubblesandBows · 04/10/2025 18:56

I have a five bedroomed house and there’s me and two children during the week and DH at weekends. The fifth bedroom acts as a drying room for clothes and no one sleeps in the fourth bedroom but the kids do watch tv in there on the bed. We have plenty space downstairs and they have a playroom as well as us having a living room and a dining room and conservatory. Nice big garden for the children and a double garage for storage! For us it’s not a waste x

Edited

Lucky you! Enjoy

whatwhatwhatisgoingon · 04/10/2025 19:39

Why would this be anyone else’s business? It’s my house, I pay for it, from heavily taxed income. How big it is is irrelevant. I don’t need to justify that to anyone. We still live in a democracy (for now!)

clipboardz · 04/10/2025 19:44

There are so many factors. 5 bed doesn't automatically mean massive house.

FunnyOrca · 04/10/2025 19:44

My parents now live alone in a 6 bed and it is full. Every room has a purpose for them…

Personally, I would love to have the space but would HATE the clutter that it invites.

MeridaBrave · 04/10/2025 19:45

If they can afford it it’s up to them.

clipboardz · 04/10/2025 19:48

My parent's 5 bed house is too big for them to manage now so I wouldn't go that big or downsize before I get too old but that's size as opposed to bedrooms.

NoSoupForU · 04/10/2025 19:49

Why would someone spending their own money on something they want be a waste?

GhostsInTheWindowsAndWalls · 04/10/2025 19:49

I don’t see it as a waste. It’s lovely to have a home with lots of space.

Shufflebumnessie · 04/10/2025 19:59

If they're able to comfortably pay the mortgage and maintain the property then why does it matter how many people/bedrooms there are?

AngelinaFibres · 04/10/2025 20:00

childofthe607080s · 04/10/2025 18:58

On the one hand- their money their choice

howwver if it were an elderly couldn’t living in a 5 bed there would be mutterings on here about taking family homes from people who need them and how they should downsize

We are 60 and 63 and have been retired since we were 55. We have a 5 bedroomed house for just 2 of us. We have no mortgage. One bedroom is an office, one is a fully fitted out gym, one is a room with twin beds for our grandchildren who sleep over a lot . We have a bedroom and there is another double for guests. We have 2 living rooms downstairs, a large kitchen/ diner and a big conservatory. We are living the dream. We look after our grandchildren here every Monday and have space inside and outside for them to have any toy they want.I was a single parent when my children were small and our house was 2 up 2 down and a grotty bathroom. If you can afford space buy it, it's fabulous.

DIYagainstMould · 04/10/2025 20:03

I say live as you like. It is your money. Mansions would not exist if all the rich people thought they cannot manage many rooms. So up to you, really. How do you feel? What do you want to do in the rooms? Can you become an artist, etc??

Original poster
Chickenshwarmamarma · 04/10/2025 20:04

ResusciAnnie · 04/10/2025 19:29

So it’s not you then - so why do you care if it’s some sort of ‘waste’?

It’s not a waste, the house isn’t going to run out. WFH you say - 1 office each then perhaps. 1 bedroom for each child. Master. Spare room. Dressing room. Music room. So many options.

(Also thinking can they really be that young if they already have a kid each/one of them has 2, with custody arrangements, and the mean to buy a 5 bed 😄)

Edited
Show quote history

Mid 30’s…young enough

OP posts:
clipboardz · 04/10/2025 20:04

@AngelinaFibres 60 isn't that elderly

Luna6 · 04/10/2025 20:05

What business is it if yours? If they can afford it then why not.

aster10 · 04/10/2025 20:06

Are you talking about the Duke and the Duchess of Sussex? 😁

AngelinaFibres · 04/10/2025 20:06

clipboardz · 04/10/2025 20:04

@AngelinaFibres 60 isn't that elderly

It's elderly on mumsnet. My husband is a boomer and that's absolutely hated on here

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 04/10/2025 20:09

A waste of what exactly? I don’t really understand what you’re asking.

moose17 · 04/10/2025 20:09

We have 5 bed house spread over 2800 square-foot with just one dc but that’s got to do with anyone else.

clipboardz · 04/10/2025 20:09

Boomers aren't well loved by most 😆 but not sure what that has to do with anything.

My parents only started struggling with their house size in their late 70s.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 04/10/2025 20:11

Waste of what?

TralalaTralalee · 04/10/2025 20:12

We have an 8 bed for a family of 4, suits us and we can afford it so I’d be a bit confused/nonplussed if anybody in my life started complaining it was a waste. Why are you asking?

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 04/10/2025 20:13

Chickenshwarmamarma · 04/10/2025 20:04

Mid 30’s…young enough

Show quote history

You're the other parent (or the grandparent) of the kids aren't you. In a much smaller house.

clipboardz · 04/10/2025 20:14

And their house is closer to 4000 sq ft. Amazing to grow up in but I don't think I would ever go over 3000 sq ft but unlikely I will ever be able to afford either 😆