DP got me the wrong present.

[PresentBlunder]

I really wanted the brand new Dyson air wrap for my birthday, it’s almost £600 - I know, ridiculous.

I’ve been squirrelling money away for a couple of months. DP asked me what I’d like for my birthday and I said the air wrap, but it’s a lot of money, so perhaps a contribution towards it. He said he’d buy it for me as it’s a big birthday and he’s getting his bonus from work soon.

My DP is very good at shopping around, getting a discount, we often buy second hand from Facebook and eBay. However, I explained to him that because it’s brand new out (1 month), he likely won’t find it as a bargain anywhere and he’s best off buying it direct from Dyson with our daughters student discount. He agreed and I sent the link.

Come today, I’ve opened my present from him and it’s the Dyson air wrap from quite a few years ago. A much older model without the latest tech or attachments. He was ridiculously pleased with himself and told me he’d got it for much cheaper than the advertised price.

Would you just be honest with him? I don’t want to crush him, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, but it’s not what I wanted and I’d rather return it and put the money towards the one I actually wanted. I also don’t want to see ungrateful as it was a lovely gesture.

Or I could just return it and buy the one I want and he’ll likely never know?

If he'd wanted a PS5 and you'd bought him a PS4 because it was cheaper, he wouldn't hesitate to tell you. And he wouldn't feel apologetic about it either.

(You can substitute the PS5 here for whatever manly appliance your particular DH gets excited over. There's always one, and I guarantee his attitude to it is not "cheapest will do".)

Just buy it yourself OP. Shame you have to. When he flogs the one he has he can give you the money.

But what he has done is thought he knows best, about something he knows f-all about. Despite you, who does know, giving very clear advice. He didn't have to agree to have any part in buying it but he asked, a suggestion was made, he was given advice, a link, discount help. And still decided he knew better.

That's the really issue for me, his idea of himself as a super bargain hunter who can do no wrong, even when well out of his area of knowledge, and him not listening to you. The bargain hunt and the buzz of "winning" was shouting louder to him than the care of doing right by you.

It’s a hairdryer.,seriously cop on. It dries your hair. It’s no big deal.

Buy it! We’re too conditioned to kee others happy. I like buying presents and said to DH I will buy for everyone I just want a surprise for me. He always insists I should tell him what to get as it wil be what I want. I just want someone to think for me. My recent big birthday was even worse as people asked him what to get me and he still expected me to come up with ideas and then I have to make him feel better for feeling bad when I say I want a surprise!

buy the straighteners

Just tell him. He’s your partner, not a distant relative.

I’m in @montston’s camp. You explained you’d like a contribution towards the one you wanted. You didn’t ask or expect him to buy it for you. You sent him the link and told him this model wouldn’t be available second-hand. He didn’t listen and hasn’t realised he bought the wrong one.

Set him straight, get the money back (if he can) and buy yourself the one you want. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

I wouldn’t buy a 600 quid hairdryer. Because I wouldn’t care. I do have very expensive sunglasses, because I like them and I use them every day. They were for a ‘big’ birthday.

If the OP wants them, will use them, cares, and wants to have this treat, why not? Or do you just buy the own brand, basic version of literally everything in your life? Some people do and all power to them.

For some people they are nothing special at all. I have very well behaved hair that takes no time at all to dry and style.

My friend, on the other hand, is a red head with extremely thick, curly/frizzy hair that takes her hours to wash, dry and style and still ends up looking pretty messy. The Dyson air wrap literally halves her getting ready time and she looks like she has just stepped out of a salon.

Say thank you and then explain that it’s not quite the right one and could you have the receipt so you can change it.

This is the only option surely?

After all, you explained how he wouldn’t be able to get it second hand.

As others have said, you should be the one grinning from ear to ear on opening your present.

(disclaimer - it was only half way through the thread k realised this was a hairdryer and not a hoover!)

Yes go ahead buy the one you want OP. It will cheer you up on your birthday, and if you buy it later on it will just prolong/reignite the awkwardness.

However, before I used the new one I would have a trial run with the old model (assuming that it does a somewhat similar job) so you know it's definitely worth shelling out for. Maybe your daughter would like the older model instead of reselling it? That might soften the blow for DH.

Keep an eye out.

Sounds like you might have a "That'll do" bloke there.

Someone who can always get a better deal. Someone who always knows better than you. Someone who will look at the detailed info of what you want, compare it to the cheaper option and think "that'll do". Sounds silly but it is indicitive of how he views you, what you say and what you value. Worth keeping an eye on.

Return it

This.
He knew exactly what he was doing.
I actually think there is nothing kind or generous in what he did.
He has spoiled something that was important to you by making it all about him getting a bargin that wasn't a bargin at all.
Moron.
I would be so turned off by his stupidity, his focus on what he wanted, not infact getting you what you clearly told him you specifically wanted, and now sulking because you are not prepared to suck it up and pretend its fine.

I really believe it is behaviour like this that gives women the ick.
So selfish.
So unattractive.
I really hope you get the one you want and never bother giving him the power to spoil something like this for you again.

How can you change it from FB Marketplace?

Go for it. Give the “present” back to him and tell him he can do what he likes with it.

Sounds like he was too busy trying to get a good deal over looking at what the correct one was!
Could you be honest and say it's the older model and you'd rather use the money he spent on this towards the one you had sent him.

OP doesn't want jewellery though does she?

🤣🤣🤣

She wasn’t investing and gold jewellery doesn’t style hair.

She doesn’t need to show you pictures, Peggy.

I’d tell him. His behaviour isn’t attractive. And as another poster said, why shouldn’t you have the one you actually wanted.

This. It wasnt a nice gesture. He asked you what you wanted then ignored you. Then he had the cheak to try to ruin your birthday by sulking.

I asked him why he didn’t just buy it from the link and he said because he always manages to get deals on things and he didn’t realise there would be such a difference between models. He saw air wrap and assumed what he’d bought was correct.
Both of these sentences cannot be true.

did he think you wouldn't notice or something? what an idiot.

I would be really annoyed, and point out to him how he really didn't get a bargain because now he's going to struggle to sell it for the same price. So he was actually ripped off.

You wanted to get the new Airwrap.

He wanted to get a bargain.

By making the second point his prioroty, your DP decided that your present should be him getting something he wanted.

Why should the OP take it back?

A 20£ one would be 'usable', but it's not the one she asked for, and he agreed to, for her 'special birthday!