DP got me the wrong present.

[PresentBlunder]

I really wanted the brand new Dyson air wrap for my birthday, it’s almost £600 - I know, ridiculous.

I’ve been squirrelling money away for a couple of months. DP asked me what I’d like for my birthday and I said the air wrap, but it’s a lot of money, so perhaps a contribution towards it. He said he’d buy it for me as it’s a big birthday and he’s getting his bonus from work soon.

My DP is very good at shopping around, getting a discount, we often buy second hand from Facebook and eBay. However, I explained to him that because it’s brand new out (1 month), he likely won’t find it as a bargain anywhere and he’s best off buying it direct from Dyson with our daughters student discount. He agreed and I sent the link.

Come today, I’ve opened my present from him and it’s the Dyson air wrap from quite a few years ago. A much older model without the latest tech or attachments. He was ridiculously pleased with himself and told me he’d got it for much cheaper than the advertised price.

Would you just be honest with him? I don’t want to crush him, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, but it’s not what I wanted and I’d rather return it and put the money towards the one I actually wanted. I also don’t want to see ungrateful as it was a lovely gesture.

Or I could just return it and buy the one I want and he’ll likely never know?

Haha no I was not.

Do it!

This.

To be fair I’d prefer a cat to 24 Lindt balls.

"haven’t read them all obviously but I don’t see any answers that are not up their own backsides."

I see one.

So. You’re not the one that wants it. Holidays aren’t necessities but I’m not giving mine up on the basis that I could use the money to invest in gold. What a weird post.

I think the main thing is I don't see the benefits of one - can you please explain why they are so special?

I once was given a hideous 2 seater settee for my bedroom from my dad when was younger and living at home. I thanked him and asked where he got it from and luckily it was a local furniture shop. So I went there and spoke to the manager and got them to deliver a much nicer one and take the other one back, and with the surplus money between them got a coffee table thrown in for no extra money. My dad was amused I resolved the issue without his help and was pleased I got what I wanted, no hard feelings 😃

I suggest you take this back yourself, if possible, pay the difference and tell him afterwards what you did - he may offer you the difference in money, but even if he doesn't at least he has paid the bulk of the cost, and you've got what you were going to save up for anyway. Men do try to please, but they're listening skills aren't always the greatest! 😂

Does he have any interest in sports teams? Buy him a shirt from some team or sport he doesn't support (because it's cheaper) and see how happy he is.

Of course, that's a daft game to play but it does represent the effort he put in.

This is one of those situations where he simply didn't bother to understand what he was dealing with and did a half arsed job. Go get the one you wanted and maybe next time he will respect what you say instead of thinking he knows everything and knows better than you.

He’s a bellend. You told him it was new out and he didn’t see any red flags when he got it so cheap.

You’ll have to tell him. It needs returning for what you actually wanted.

also, student discounts are for students. Drives the price up for everyone when people abuse it.

He's a cheapskate. Such an unattractive quality. Tell him he got it wrong.

But also, do this back to him. Next Xmas he wants the expensive tool, car item, whatever, get the old version. Touché.

If you'd bothered to read the thread (or even just the OP's posts) you'd know why thus a) isn't possible b) isn't desirable.

Not at all.

She had set her heart on something that she wanted - if other people think it's a waste of money, that's great for them; but they aren't her - and she had been saving up for it herself to buy it.

He asked what she wanted and she specifically told him exactly, even warning him that there were a lot of similar-looking ones available that she didn't want. He could have offered to give her money towards it, he could have offered to buy it in full for her - the actual one that she explicitly told him she wanted - or he could have declined to get involved and got her something else instead.

He didn't do any of these; he decided that he knew better what she wanted/should have than she did herself. Then he tried to make out that he'd got her pretty much the same thing, when he knew that he'd got something far inferior that she didn't want in his quest to save money - knowing that, if he'd given her the exact amount of money that he had/was wanting to spend on her present towards what she wanted, she would have been very grateful.

He was selfish, arrogant and dismissive and deliberately spoiled what should have been a lovely occasion. If he was really incapable of following a link and checking the model number carefully elsewhere to see if he could get her the SAME one for a better price - although she'd told him already that he wouldn't be able to - that would have been fine. But he didn't; because he thought that he knew better.

Have the one you want and leave it to DP to flog the cheapskate one. If he makes a loss, it's a good lesson learned. When it's his birthday, but him a cheapie version of what he wants and see how he likes it.

@PresentBlunder

i hope you ordered it. Tell him he can just trf £300 to you in lieu of a present.

How he sells the crap one he bought is his problem.

do you mean £250 less?
So basically, because he was so
a) tight
b) arrogant by deciding he knew better than you

you'll end up (as a family) spending £850 on it - the £600 you'll (and I agree you should) need to spend to get the one you wanted and then the difference between what he'll be able to sell the one he bought on for - if he can even shift what is now a third hand one old version that might not even work.

not to mention the sulking when HE's the one in the wrong. What a knob.

agree with @RamsaySnowsSausage (and not just because I like the nn) - if he was a man u fan and you bought tickets to your local league 4 game because it was cheaper, or he wanted to see Oasis and you bought him tickets for the tribute band, or whatever he's into, I imagine he'd have something to say!

In the advent calendar one the husband was sent the link but didn't act on it immediately, then the product was sold out. In September. Why is Christmas even on anyone's radar in September was the point I was trying to make. It's just ridiculous "fear of missing out" marketing hype from the manufacturer trying to shift product. In that sense, yes the Dyson is similar. Both scenarios seem like typical first world problems in my opinion.

are you saying you've never bought anything that wasn't an absolute necessity?
what a sad, joyless life....

Hey, I just wanted to reply from a man's point of view. I'm assuming it's OK for a man to write in this forum?
I would want my wife to have what she wanted so if I bought her the wrong gift I would hope she'd be honest and tell me. But I usually suggest if she sees something she'd really like to get it and I'll pay. Maybe not the most romantic way but that way she knows it's right (and she loves shopping anyway)...
Everyone's different but I'd be more upset if she felt she couldn't say....

Big assumption about someone you don’t know

As if he didn’t know! The clue would have been in the price. He’s bought you the hairstyling equivalent of a PS1 when we’re now on PS5. That was an active choice. I’d be reconsidering my future with him. He knew exactly what he was doing.

He knew he was buying an older, used version without the features you wanted. But he didn't care what you wanted. He just cared that it was cheap. Nasty.

Normally I would never be so rude as to complain about a gift.

I would just go in and exchange the gift and pay for the new one. Come home and thank him for contibuting for more than half of the piece of equipment. Tell him that his heart was in exactly the right place but that his ears were not.

Or explain why you need the newer version and ask him to return it and, along with your saved money, that he buys the new version direct.

Are you quite well? This is a proper tonto response.