Colleague sent me message by mistake

[Islandhopper10]

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

Maybe you could wear something more demure like this at your next quarterly meeting, op. Your colleague will get the message, I’m sure.

definitely inappropriate office wear, but he could be in trouble if reported. Do they not still have some standard on clothes even on casual clothes day?

I’ve just had to google scrunch bum leggings 😂

Not strictly office attire, even on casual days in my honest opinion.

I’m all for wearing what you are most comfortable in, but I do believe in toning it down a bit when at work unless you work in a gym and then scrunch bum leggings are appropriate.

Just let it go. I can imagine women would message each other if a male colleague turned up in tight fitting gym wear. He’s got a nice bum etc etc. it was a mistake it got sent to you instead, or was it..,,,,

If his chat logs are bad enough to get him sacked that would be his fault not the OPs, it shouldn’t put her off reporting.

I believe that we should be able to wear what we want without people making lewd comments. You can't control what you think but you have control over what you do with those thoughts. They should have kept them to themselves.

Well OP didn't mention that, but if we're taking hypothetical they could hypothetically be dressing very inappropriately for work.

And….so you don’t like the fact that a comment was made allegedly about you, but heaven forbid a size 16 lady should wear leggings

I read that message as bitchy rather than a compliment or pervy. Assumed the sweat was the water drops and meant thirsty. So was saying you knew what you were doing wearing scrunch leggings to work… you were thirsty for attention. I would prob think wtf if I saw you but equally I’d die if I’d actually sent you that message by mistake.

A whole fucking pod of them in fact

I challenge anyone to google scrunch bum leggings and come back here and say they are suitable for the workplace, even on casual day. They are bad enough in a gym tbh: it’s literally “look at my arse-crack”!

Why do you think size 16 women don't wear leggings?!?!

It’s a compliment but don’t let him know you’ve read it unless you’re both free to pursue a friendship etc if that’s what you want. He might be really embarrassed too.

"Unfortunately for you, you didn’t delete that message quickly enough. If I ever hear you speak about me or anyone else that way again, I will elevate it straight to HR." But she didn't hear him talking about her. Maybe he was talking about someone on instagram. The OP saw a brief message that disappeared and because she was wearing scrunch leggings she's assumed it's about her.

It’s because their massive arses look better with the scrunch than her’s does I imagine.

It doesn’t matter if the leggings were suitable or not - that’s up to OPs management to raise with her.

No one should be commenting on a colleague’s appearance, otherwise.

Im sure all of the outraged PPers have never turned to a friend in a bar or wherever and commented about an attractive man. Nope, never... nope nope nope

Are you single? Is he single and attractive?

Edit: aw I posted before I read all your posts. I see you have a DP.

A compliment that her male colleagues are discussing her appearance, with sexual innuendo at the very least, behind her back?

In fairness I believe the sweat emoji in this context means he was thirsty (for the op)

You wore leggings designed to make your arse look good and are shocked a couple of your colleagues thought your arse looked good? Do you usually manifest unnecessary drama?

He slipped up, sent a message to you instead of a friend and quickly deleted. He'll be mortified and that's punishment enough in my opinion.

Leggings aren't typically appropriate for office casual dress for future reference.

Really?? Would you though? Why?

You never said to any of your friends that you think a guy is hot or looks good in his suit or whatever?

The unrealistic overreactions on here are so stupid.

This

So if this guy was investigated and was found to be inappropriate on more than one occasion and was disciplined accordingly, that's on the OP right?

How about men just don't act like pigs in the workplace (or anywhere) and then they've got nothing to worry about?

I think it's a bit different though. Firstly because it's not some random or an acquaintance, it's a colleague. It's pretty accepted that the workplace requires more formal and respectful interaction than in a pub or wherever, particularly with all the potential ramifications of colleagues at different levels, abuse of power, etc.

Secondly it's not just a ''X looks good' or even 'X looks hot,' which is a bit more dispassionate, and solely their opinion but suggesting OP 'knew what she was doing,' is suggesting she specifically chose her clothing to make herself look sexually attractive and turn people on. It's ascribing deliberate intent to OP which she might very well have NOT intended at all. It's not just about what they think but making her culpable, in their minds, for their reactions, which is why I think it tips over the line into inappropriate/a bit sleezy, where a simple ' wow X is looking good today!' wouldn't.

That's not to say I'd necessarily think it serious enough to take any action though, particularly without proof.

OP literally just posted this to seek validation and say ‘this is how good I look’. She was saying she was being treated like a ‘piece of meat’ and she had to warn other female colleagues, to slagging off her female colleagues and saying her husband never complains so she must look good. But you know, she never gave what she was wearing ‘much thought’…