Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague sent me message by mistake

688 replies

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
GooseAndSandals · 03/10/2025 23:18

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 23:15

Sorry, it's very much a Scottish expression- it means that it pisses you off, ie the way you'd be really pissed off if someone ripped your careful knitting.

Show quote history

And what is a fucking zoomer?

Puffalicious · 03/10/2025 23:18

Oh & zoomers are folk whose brains 'zoom' around usually with ridiculous ideas.

After a wild Friday I forget I'm not in work with fellow Scots!

MayaPinion · 03/10/2025 23:23

Haha, well he’s not wrong, is he? The purpose of scrunch butt leggings is to get people to look at your arse 😂

Sugarpopsicle · 03/10/2025 23:24

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/10/2025 18:36

Nothing surprises me anymore. I worked with someone who liked to wear short dresses to work and would bend down to pick stuff up whilst not wearing any knickers. When someone complained about it she demanded that they be taken into a room to describe in detail what tattoos she had on her arse, as though the complaint was worse than her behaviour.

Honestly, they walk (work) among us.

She had started an only fans account. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was filming herself doing it. She got sacked when she refused to go home and put underwear on and was last seen being dragged out by security while she screamed her head off about “human rights”.

This is the funniest thread I’ve read in ages. Regardless of the OP’s intentions. Really need the laughs, some of these comments, including the thong bikini on an away day questions are just too inspired. Not to forget the illiterate comment either.

Frazzledmama23 · 03/10/2025 23:26

the world has gone ridiculous! I met my husband at work when I was a lot younger (and hotter) and the flirting and inuendos in the workplace were what made me want to go to work in the morning! Then we got drunk at a christmas party and the rest is history. I miss those days!!

gillefc82 · 03/10/2025 23:27

@Islandhopper10 I definitely think you should report this to HR as it will kill two birds with one stone:

  1. sleazy colleague gets pulled up on his conduct and hopefully suitably chastised to the extent he won’t ever repeat such behaviour; and

  2. HR will be prompted to review and amend your work’s Dress Code policy to reflect the unsuitability of leggings like these in a professional workplace setting.

Result: you’ll no longer need to worry about receiving any inappropriate or upsetting messages such as this again and your colleagues will be saved from being force fed viewing your arse crack every dress down day.

Myrtletown · 03/10/2025 23:27

Peachy2005 · 03/10/2025 19:02

I challenge anyone to google scrunch bum leggings and come back here and say they are suitable for the workplace, even on casual day. They are bad enough in a gym tbh: it’s literally “look at my arse-crack”!

Edited

It’s like a baboon showing off its sexual organs. I’d imagine he was laughing at you

hohummm1 · 03/10/2025 23:27

newnamehereonceagain · 03/10/2025 21:42

This is all just made up, isn’t it?

Free entertainment though!

Quite possibly. I'm trying to imagine anyone under the age of 70, let alone a woman, talking about loving 'most of the ladies dearly', or musing on what would be flattering to 'the larger ladies.'

forward thinking, ran by strong women.
Hope you're not a copywriter, OP.

BreezyAquaCrow · 03/10/2025 23:37

24karatPalamino · 03/10/2025 21:35

Op, I am currently a UK size 8 to 10, with a lovely defined waistline.

And I would not wear those scrunch leggings, even if they were the last thing on earth. I’m not old either. I have long dark hair and tanned skin. I’m a beaut and very happy with how I look. But those leggings are so trashy, seriously. They are cheap looking and indecent.

Now I realise your partner likes them. That might be because he gets to see your arse crack and flaps in them. But this isn’t nice for everyone.

Pervert men will also notice. They don’t think you’re beautiful or desirable in a holistic and complimentary way, it’s again just sexual (hence the sweat emoji).

But is that who you want to attract? It never was for me, but then I’ve never set out to try and impress anyone but myself.

Equally though, I think this thread is either desperate or bollocks. Mainly because every six months or so we get a ‘I’m attracting all this unwanted attention in my everyday, big standard scrunch arse leggings - is it because I’m just so desirable and the men at work (your husbands) can’t handle me’ threads.

This! Find some self-respect OP and stop attention seeking.

MumWifeOther · 03/10/2025 23:43

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 17:15

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

Take the compliment I say!

vivi45 · 03/10/2025 23:47

Leggings and scrunch bum leggings are two very different things and it’s not hard to see why the latter may attract attention.

TootSweeties · 03/10/2025 23:53

Islandhopper10 · 03/10/2025 18:24

With respect to my colleagues, and I love most of the ladies dearly. But the average size is probably 16, so I don’t think leggings feature too prominently in their wardrobe!

Show quote history

Christ better get rid of my leggings being on the curvier side 😅

DonnyBurrito · 03/10/2025 23:54

InformationEnthusiast2 · 03/10/2025 22:03

No one should ever be making comments about their colleagues bodies. I truly don't know how to explain this in a more simple way for you

Show quote history

As long as no-one is trying to make another colleague feel uncomfortable or upset, I don't see what the issue is. It was a mistake to send it to her, but to say that WE MUST NOT COMMENT ON COLLEAGUES EVER - EVEN TO FRIENDS IN CONFIDENCE is just not rational.

'hOpE tHaT heLps'/'touch grass', etc

GCautist · 03/10/2025 23:54

Why the fuck are people blaming the woman?
saying she’s bragging, putting her flaps on show deliberately - wtaf society are we in 2025 or 1975?

What she wore may have been inappropriate office attire but any man saying “she knew what she was doing” is a step away from the she was asking for it type language. She could have worn pancakes over her nipples and tooth floss underwear and nobody would have the right to pass such a comment in a work scenario and those who do so privately are dickheads.

Justagirl95 · 03/10/2025 23:57

Are you the one who wore a thong bikini to a work swimming pool by any chance?

Justagirl95 · 03/10/2025 23:58

GCautist · 03/10/2025 23:54

Why the fuck are people blaming the woman?
saying she’s bragging, putting her flaps on show deliberately - wtaf society are we in 2025 or 1975?

What she wore may have been inappropriate office attire but any man saying “she knew what she was doing” is a step away from the she was asking for it type language. She could have worn pancakes over her nipples and tooth floss underwear and nobody would have the right to pass such a comment in a work scenario and those who do so privately are dickheads.

I agree with the sentiment, but wearing floss underwear nipple covers would be a conversation with HR in most workplaces!

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 03/10/2025 23:58

Scrunch bum leggings are in no way appropriate to wear to an office.

24karatPalamino · 04/10/2025 00:06

GCautist · 03/10/2025 23:54

Why the fuck are people blaming the woman?
saying she’s bragging, putting her flaps on show deliberately - wtaf society are we in 2025 or 1975?

What she wore may have been inappropriate office attire but any man saying “she knew what she was doing” is a step away from the she was asking for it type language. She could have worn pancakes over her nipples and tooth floss underwear and nobody would have the right to pass such a comment in a work scenario and those who do so privately are dickheads.

I disagree. It’s quite normal to comment on what people are wearing. There are whole websites and TikTok accounts etc dedicated to doing just that. ‘People of Walmart’ springs to mind.

People judge other people all of the time. And we each have a choice when we go out, whether we wish to attract attention, good, bad or not at all.

Often I’ll dress with the intention of attracting attention. Some smart trousers, a silk blouse, a long coat and high heels. People will comment on my ‘power dressing’ for example.

Sometimes I’ll dress to blend in. Grey jumper, black trousers and black flats.

When I dress there is usually an element of intention and people either notice or don’t.

If I started wearing bum scrunch leggings, which are wholly inappropriate for the workplace, and arguably everywhere else, then I know exactly what people will be thinking, and that’s a choice I’d be making.

So whilst I accept the men getting excited by this type of clothing are nasty old pervs, I also think people need to take a bit of accountability for their choices, particularly if they are unhappy with the reactions.

Additionally, if I were to start wearing bum scrunch leggings in my workplace, or pancakes and floss, then I am 100% certain parents would have a lot to say, not to mention my boss and probably the teaching council, so I don’t think ‘You’re the one with the problem, I should be able to wear what I like without judgement’, is going to wash.

DrowningInSyrup · 04/10/2025 00:09

Sexy clothes are worn in the hope that you look sexy, someone thought you were so you had the desired effect. Therefore he spoke the truth.

BlazenWeights · 04/10/2025 00:14

Rosscameasdoody · 03/10/2025 20:14

OP explained it was casual dress because there was a social after the meeting. And judging by some of the comments here if I were a man I’d be afraid to open my mouth in the company of any woman.

Show quote history

There’s no circumstance where those awful scrunch leggings are appropriate even in the gym IMO.

clickyteeclick · 04/10/2025 00:15

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. God forbid anyone size 16 and above DARES wear leggings. Especially those ones that make your bum hole look like a cats bum hole. They’re strictly for slim girls who can carry off the bum hole look. Congrats. You got us….you had me thinking this was a real thread for a minute there!

CrispsPlease · 04/10/2025 00:29

I'd take it as a compliment and it'd boost my ego for 5 minutes.

Some uptight people on here. 'Report him' FFS 🙄

fourseasonsinoneday1 · 04/10/2025 00:35

MayaPinion · 03/10/2025 23:23

Haha, well he’s not wrong, is he? The purpose of scrunch butt leggings is to get people to look at your arse 😂

Yep. Absolutely this.

OP is loving the attention from the men and boasting about it here for some reason 😅

Bones101 · 04/10/2025 00:39

I'm so confused why you were wearing leggings around work colleagues like that ?

I'd deffo report because who was that message meant for ? Bet he has a wife too

Bones101 · 04/10/2025 00:39

I'm so confused why you were wearing leggings around work colleagues like that ?

I'd deffo report because who was that message meant for ? Bet he has a wife too