Colleague sent me message by mistake

[Islandhopper10]

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

You can't make comments about work colleague's appearance. I truly don't know what you're finding so complicated. Do you need me to draw you a diagram with crayons or something? Your work colleague's bodies are not up for discussion. They are not for you to comment on. A toddler could understand this

This. Isn’t. The. Clever. Comment. You. Thought. It. Was.

No one should ever be making comments about their colleagues bodies. I truly don't know how to explain this in a more simple way for you

You're the one that can't understand simple concepts but okay 😂

Nothing respectful about that comment!

Not appropriate attire for any kind of meeting in any kind of business on the planet. Wears clothes to get attention then complains about the attention. No one wants to see your arse regardless of how lovely it apparently is !

The message was inappropriate, but it sounds like your clothing was too. I reckon the inappropriate message was spot on.

Yeah this really.

People are so uptight. It’s not a big deal.

It may come as a shock but you’re not walking around the world invisible and other people aren’t cardboard cutouts with no minds. You see them, they see you.

Then don't look 👍 clothes are clothes. She got dressed. Your sexual feelings aren't anyone else's problem

This whole thing is a non issue. OP got the reaction she was looking for. She says herself she has a nice arse, unlike her colleagues, and her husband likes how she looks when she wears said leggings. So she’s dressing to accentuate her nice arse (not saying she isn’t within her rights to do so) but then complains that her colleague mentioned it saying she ‘knew what she was doing’. When in actual fact she dressed that way for a meeting knowing that those types of leggings draw attention to your arse, then got angry because someone noticed it. They don’t tend to look good on anyone no matter how good your body is because it looks like you have a permanent wedgie. And you know her colleagues are fat and can’t possibly wear leggings so who else could they be talking about.

I’m a teacher. Glad to know the parents will be fully accepting when I arrive to class, or the school trip in a pair of scrunch leggings.

Come on. Some clothes are not appropriate for work.

Honestly I don't see what all the fuss is about.

I would have read the message, been briefly quietly flattered then forgotten all about it. If I was friends with him I might have asked him verbally "what am I doing in these leggings?" to embarrass him.

Either way this would take up zero space in head.

Equally you seem very opinionated about the mindset of others….but sure, your opinions are ok.

Sorry I’m just off to try on my bikinis in order to decide which one I’ll wear to work on Monday. I have a really skimpy one I bought at the start of the Summer. I’ve put on a good half a stone since then. I mean, it was a bit risqué when I bought it, but now I’ll be positively busting (no pun intended) out of it in all directions. Fair play to me though, I am hot! I’ll pretend I don’t know this when I wear it to the office though. Then I can start a thread about people’s comments. (Not that I should expect any of course. All eyes to the front and everyone acting like this is appropriate office wear. Should my superiors ask to speak to me, I will of course direct them to this thread - in between accusing everyone of mysogeny!)

Why would anyone want to wear something that looks like their anus anyway??

😂

Also please can I have the aforementioned diagram. With crayons. (What would that even look like?)

Thanks.

I would use it..... When I needed to. And I would make sure they knew I had something of interest

I actually thought they were going out of fashion. I haven’t seen them on anyone in ages.

That’s a bit sinister

@24karatPalamino I’m a teacher. Glad to know the parents will be fully accepting when I arrive to class, or the school trip in a pair of scrunch leggings.

The schoolboys will be accepting!

What an attention-seeking thread….

Human beings are wired to look, to notice, to judge and to feel attraction (or not). Commenting and acting on it is optional of course but you can’t change how people think and react to or feel about how another person looks.

Ewwww

So if someone said, “Oh, what a lovely coat, where’s it from?” : would that count as sexual harassment too? Interesting place to work....
Or do you just find OP's situation insulting because it came from a man?