Colleague sent me message by mistake

[Islandhopper10]

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

So he should be disciplined for a comment about your looks, because you were wearing clothes whhich show every single little bit of you. But you're comfortable talking about the size of your coworkers and how they'd look in leggings?

Rich

Then they can advert their gaze. Other people's opinions of her body aren't her problem. People need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves and stop making comments about other people's bodies

This is all just made up, isn’t it?

Free entertainment though!

That made me chortle 😂

1. Scrunch leggings, according to Google, are "designed to accentuate the shape of the booty", so

1. He was not wrong in what he wrote, but

1. There is no way he sent that message to you "accidentally"

Do with it what you will.

No idea why the numbering automated to 1s there rather than 1, 2, 3!

"No one is safe these days" the classic chant of the bigot that wants to never suffer consequences for their inappropriate actions and words

@Islandhopper10 is there a possibility that he intended for you to see? An accidental on purpose kind of thing?

Oh yeah I DEFINITELY said that, and you are so within your rights to say anyone who doesn't think accidentally messaging something NOT INTENDED TO HARASS AT ALL (because it was meant for someone else) is a crime, are horny and stupid teenagers who just need you to help them understand the adult world 🥹

I’m a little disappointed you work in PR, I was hoping you’d say Goldman Sachs or Deloitte. If you were minded to, he could be in hot water for that remark. The reality seems to be that you rather enjoyed it.

They'll come for you too one day.

It wasn't sexual in tone, so not sexual harassment, but definitely an inappropriate comment to make about colleagues - yes. And if one of them saw this, they would be within their right to speak with HR about it. This wasn't the clever comment you thought it was. I don't know what you're all finding so challenging - this is basic stuff. We don't live in the TV show Mad Men - you can't talk about colleagues bodies/appearance. Full stop. This isn't difficult to comprehend

Speaking of keeping opinions to themselves….

Is no one to have an opinion on anything any more? You seem mighty opinionated. Is it just the physical aspects of another that someone shouldn’t have an opinion about? What about the non physical aspects of a person? Can we have opinions about those? Can we have an opinion, say, on a person’s intentions or perceived intentions? On their choices? On their values? Or should we refrain from comment on another full stop?

I’m crying laughing at some of these posts - thank you, OP, for this gem of a thread on a Friday night!

Scrunch leggings are the below-the-waist equivalent of wandering around the office wearing a Wonderbra, OP! They are designed purely to be sexually provocative, and I’m afraid that I, too, think you knew exactly what you were doing…

I think we are all meant to sit in silence and not have a single thought about anyone or anything. Ever.

Now just waiting for the ‘this wasn’t the clever comment you thought it was’ line.

Move on

Yes, this is the part I would have found offensive.
If a man shared with a colleague that I looked good it wouldn’t bother me, although I would find using work emails or Teams to do this unprofessional.
If he was insinuating that I was choosing outfits with the purpose of arousing pervy men who should have been listening to the meeting, I would not have been happy.

Just take it as a compliment and move on, or you can subtly say something to him so he knows you saw it. He won’t make the same mistake twice!

You all need to learn to take responsibility for yourselves and stop making your sexual feelings other people's problem. It honestly baffles me how many people are in these comments going "but they made my bits feel tingly and I couldn't control myself and it's their fault for existing!". Seriously, just grow up

Not a turn of phrase, an inappropriate comment for the work place, ie 'she knows shes got everyone looking at her arse, she's intentionally dressed to draw attention to herself' the 'sweat' emoji makes that pretty clear.

Would he have said the same if a male colleague had come in in cycling shorts... i bet not, which makes it sexist.

Oh yes please, that comment would give me full house on my bingo card!

I’m sure they’ll be along any minute now….

I would mention leggings/ legging related things every now and then just to make him paranoid.

No, you're not ever meant to have opinions about your work colleague's appearance. I really don't know which part of this you're finding so difficult. Do you need me to draw you a diagram with crayons or something? Don't. Make. Comments. On. Work. Colleagues. Bodies. That's it.

At this point you are just being rude

Op, what you seem to fail to realise is that you are not “flattering” yourself at all here.
Your “nice arse” has nothing to do with your character, nor will it last forever.
And “strong, forward thinking women” do not comment on the dress size of other women. We know that is immaterial.