Colleague sent me message by mistake

[Islandhopper10]

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

That’s a disgusting thing to say

I agree, as I'd already said. I am commenting on the idea that those saying the OP should adhere to those standards and not be surprised if there are comments made if she doesn't are using the language of sexual assault apologists.

If you wore these to the office without a top covering the arse, that is so deeply inappropriate. He’s an arse too (pun intended) but if yours literally looked like this…. I see so many people wearing them like they’re baboons or something. Is it some kind of fetish for showing off their cracks? Because as a piece of clothing they are also so ugly and unimaginative.

I wonder if OP is telling this like it is her wearing the leggings but actually it was a colleague. I can't believe that they'd be so disingenuous otherwise.

The comments weren’t private they were shared at work

A shiver! It's one of my favourite collective nouns

Also I'm not being an arsehole I just hardly get to say it so I always try to if/when the opportunity arises 😁

'Elevate' 🤣🤣🤣

Is the name of that colleague Daniel Cleaver 😁?

That is irrelevant to a colleague ascribing a mindset to someone from what they are wearing…men show their naked cracks all the time I never think I can discuss their sexual availability with colleagues 🤦‍♀️

I'm a size 16 and look hot as fuck in leggings....soooo what's your point?!

There is of course another possible side. It wasn't a sexual comment whatsoever. It was a factual comment between work colleagues who were fed up of another colleague dressing inappropriately to attract attention because she has an attitude that she is the most attractive in the office and out shines all her frumpy fat female colleagues. Maybe the male colleagues are fed up with OPs attitude. Just a thought😁

It was extremely sexist and also sexual harassment, since he accidentally sent it directly to her - colleagues should not be talking about colleagues in that way, even in private. It's not appropriate

Ew, what a horribly misogynistic thing to say about another woman. I truly can't imagine being as sad and bitter as you clearly are 😂 to be clear, they're never gonna pick you 👏

You said this :
”Good one OP. You knew what you were doing and he’s just pointed that out.”

in which you say you can tell someone’s thoughts and wishes from their clothes ..this is straight from an abuser mindset

This is not real

Urgh no, you don’t discuss your physical reaction and attach a mindset to someone based on what they are wearing ..that is abusive…it’s not reacting to discomfort by say sending “I think we should ask for clothing standards to be restated” …it was a pervy comment about a colleague

I didn't say it about anyone. I said that might be the reason for the message. The out shining the other women is basically what the OP said about leggings and her female Colleagues, not me. Maybe read the thread before you make those accusations and my post correctly. Thanks.

I definitely wouldn't be reporting it. You don't 100% know it was about you. Imagine if you reported it and it turned out to be about someone else. You'd come across as very up yourself.

You were wrong to wear those leggings with a short top at work. They're very attention seeking and I can't work out why people wear tgem and insist we look at their arse.

but he was a dick head to message what he did.

Elevate like my arse cheeks should be in those leggings.

It seems like you dressed to get attention because "look at me ,look at me" the other women are size 16 and over so probably don't have tight legging and tops like I do.I think you've come on here to get attention about getting attention. Your colleague was right, and they've sussed you out.

That’s an insult to women who do actually suffer abuse. You should be ashamed of yourself

After reading all of OP's updates, I suspect the colleague wasn't being complimentary, I suspect it's an in-joke they all have about her. She thinks she's queen bee, and they enjoy laughing about her behind her back.

Meaning they wouldn't look good in them . So how come it's wrong for others to think you do?

All this does, OP, is reinforce the fact that you did indeed know exactly what you were doing and that your intentions were to garner attention for your arse...