Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

You were lucky, I went to a C of E school and we were all quiet when we were told to be.

As I understand the OP, it was a different teacher who shouted, not the original one? If I’ve read that wrong though I apologise it’s been a long day!

I never said a child would be traumatised by being told to be quiet - and I don’t think it’s necessarily over reacting for a teacher to raise her voice. What I said was we don’t know if the teacher was being firm, being short tempered or screamed/shouted - I’ve seen all three from teachers in my kids primary school so they’re all possible.

Because he'd been told to be quiet?

Based on info from the initial post, holy fuck. 😳

Because the teacher was trying to do a piece of work. Sometimes kids need to accept they need to work quietly.

Your son and his classmates were literally asked NOT to talk. And he talked. Why did he need to question it? He could have read the room and sent hat that was not a burning question at that time and he could have gone and said 'excuse me Mrs X what is the difference between pain and injured' at another moment. Not when they have just been asked not to talk.

*I’ve been hearing lots of “we have to sit in silence” Thats normal though there are times when they do have it sit in silence.
Is what he said really rude though and not just a literal exploration of what the teacher has said He back chatted. That's rude.

“I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.”
To be fair it sounds like she's at the end of her tether with him and when told to stop he has sassed straight back at her.

Would a teacher continue to shout at a crying apologising child over this? He insists that’s what happened
That is his interpretation of what happened,.

But the work was interrupted further by another adult entering the room shouting and then a 6 year old crying.

I also have a 6 year old who is struggling with a super strict teacher this year. I do get trying to gain control early on but it feels a bit boot camp esque at the moment and mine has been struggling with the strictness and we’ve had tears. I do think some teachers aren’t necessarily the right fit for infants but suit slightly older kids who can handle that approach better. We’ve got a wonderful teacher at the school who we had for reception but now teaches year 6 and her demeanour and approach has varied depending on the age of the children.

I think the child in the OP was being cheeky or not reading the room. The teacher obviously meant just STFU the lot of you and he didn’t get that. Now he’s only 6 so that might have been lost on him but he needs to learn there is a time and a place.

I’m glad I left teaching. It was the snidey Covid Facebook comments that finally made me leave but if I’d had time to read this kind of thread at almost 11 pm I’d have gone sooner. I can honestly say that in over 25 years I shouted a handful of times.

Honestly, he’s 6 years old! It’s not appropriate to scream at a child to the point of tears. I can’t believe people trying to justify this in the comments and trying to imply that the child had more sinister intentions by trying to show the teacher up. He’s bloody 6 and he blurted out a comment on impulse!! Children don’t think the way adults do, some people on here need to better understand child development and psychology. Yes, he needs to learn to listen to instructions, but that does not mean he should be humiliated and intimidated in front of his peers.

The fact this affected him all the way until bedtime says a lot. The fact he no longer likes school says a lot.

As a mother, I’m strict and I don’t do coddling, so it’s not like my opinion on the matter is coming from someone overly soft.

As you say, you only have your son’s version of events. That may not be so reliable. His comment as you report makes him sound a little precocious.

It was a different teacher in the OP but now we’re all cruel and sadistic. No wonder there’s a shortage of teachers.

It would be cheeky from an older child or an adult. I think it was a genuine question from a 6yo.

I think what some people fail to grasp is what might seem adorable in your one on one interaction with your own child is completely unmanageable when the ratio changes to one adult with 25 kids and learning needing to be done.

Your DS just needs to focus more on listening and less on making ‘helpful’ observations. At home you probably find it cute if he corrects you but he needs to learn the difference between home and school. He’ll get there.

People on Mumsnet are always shouting, screaming, demanding something or ranting. So I interpret shouting , screaming and ranting as “I asked you to be quiet”expressed in a firm tone. I interpret demanding as “please could you pass the salt”

He thought he was being clever and would make the class laugh. I wish some parents could see their so sensitive children in class sometimes.
He got the telling off he deserved. No teacher has time for two minute rant .

I suspect he was being cheeky at a time it wasn't appreciated. He needs to be doing what he's meant to. Then he won't incur the wrath.

Your ds will need to learn when it's not appropriate to make a cheeky comment. When a teacher is cross and warning the children she doesn't want to be interrupted is not the right time.

I don’t disagree that 50 years ago when I was in primary school some teachers shouted. I don’t agree no one was bothered. I had lots of friends who were shouted at and they may have appeared to not care in front of everyone but in general they hated school for that reason. Some suffered with anxiety and mental health issues which they carried into secondary schools. My husband to this day remembers a teacher shouting at him for not getting something and many decades later after realising he was ADHD he now understands why. He left school with no qualifications as no teacher thought to question why he struggled with focusing or sitting still. Slightly different I know as OP says no SEN but it surely isn’t good if this child is still sobbing hours later.

The prefrontal cortex in children’s brains doesn’t develop until they are much older so some will make impulsive comments and and teachers should understand that. I was a rule follower so didn’t often get shouted at but I am not sure that is the way to let children learn if they are scared to open their mouth for fear of saying something the teacher thinks is cheeky. A simple correction done in a kind way would have the same effect without damaging the teacher/student relationship.

I would hope a teacher wouldn't leave the profession over a parent politely asking for a bit of context on an incident at school that had their child still in tears at bedtime and reluctant to go to school. I agree that some parents wouldn't be polite and that's not on, but I don't think parents are required to proceed at all times on the basis that the teacher is infallible and their kid is a liar or a fantasist.

Child was being cheeky. He needs to learn how to behave in certain situations

I would only excuse that if he had a special need that makes him be quite literal

Of course they are, my 5yo is well capable of making a smart arsed comment and she knows it too!