Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

Perhaps what she said was a bit harsh, but his answer was cheeky, bit condescending really

He was rude.

Yes it was rude, smart arse back chat

Don’t think it’s going to happen!

Yet another, ‘Light the touch paper and watch it burn’.
So bloody tiresome.

My first thought was also to question if your son has ASD, as people on the spectrum don't always recognise when a comment might come across as rude.
If there is no SEN suspected I'm guessing it's still possible that a 6 year old wouldn't have realised though, due to just being 6. (I only have the experience of raising an autistic child so I'm not sure how obviously cheeky that comment would be to an average 6 year old.)

Also, I don't know if your 6 year old is year 1 or 2 but the jump from Reception to year 1 can be difficult for some children. Year 1 to 2 shouldn't be as much of a shock.
(Meaning I'd worry less about them suddenly being anxious about school if they've just started year 1.)

And your daughter would also have been wrong as in pain and injured are not the same thing. Think of it as a Venn diagram with the intersection being painful injuries but the parts outside the intersection showing non-painful injuries and pain unrelated to injury.

Some children think very literally so was perhaps not meaning to be cheeky. My grandson would say this sort of think.

No, it wasn't rude. He's 6 years old - so young.. He was considering what was said: this was in no way chatback. He's bright. His treatment was so undeserved and Mum should definitely go to school ASAP and discuss the situation that day and the fact that her son seems much less happy. A discussion needs to be had to explore what has changed for him to make him anxious about school. Please go immediately and sort this out for him. Stand up for your boy!

I think the teacher acted awfully in this situation. 6 is a bit young to understand nuanced social expectations like this. By all means it could be explained to him that it was what some people perceive as rude but he shouldn't have been shouted at.

This comment shows how many people have no idea how classrooms function. There are times when teachers are doing small group work where it is expected that children don't interrupt. They will have been set appropriate work that they don't need help with or perhaps even just being asked to look at picture books. Independence is an important skills for children to learn. They are probably being expected to work by themselves for a maximum of 10 minutes.

Re all the pps' outrage at working in silence, my class can produce in 10 minutes of silence what would take them 30 minutes plus whilst chatting. Very few children are actually able to work and hold conversations at the same time. Working in silence for 10 minutes can actually leave more time for fun.

If children are being screamed at, that is wrong. But even in Reception, some children need to be told firmly what the expectations are otherwise they would be shouting, running and hurting their friends in the classroom. 6 year olds are not 'tiny' and some of the expectations of them on this thread are incredibly low. I'd expect more of my 4 year old.

He can explore it later with the teacher. Not at that particular point when he has basically been told to be quiet.

It's hard to know without context what happened, but it sounds like the teacher was dealing with a lot of interrupting, hence that particular comment.

I would be saying to my son that I am, of course, sorry he got so upset, but he has to learn to be quiet when instructed to.

Imagine if you asked the class to be quiet, and 32 kids made a comment like that. How much learning would be taking place then? It’s no different for your son than all the others.

Well developmental psychology isnt going very well atm is it, with more and more children having MH issues. Thankfully my dc grew up more sensible times.

I completely believe that children should learn to be Independant and work on their own but that should be explained to them. Reminding them to believe in themselves and to give it a try is perfectly acceptable. But to tell a child not to speak to them unless they are in pain or injury will leave many children in a position of fear and that’s not the ideal setting for any learning.

It is not ignorance that makes me believe this way, if a teacher needs to use fear to control a class should they be teaching.

For goodness sake.. wer'e talking about a 6 year old boy! Revisit your response - oh deary me 😏 Some of the reactions to OPs post lead me to query how many of you are parents as there seems to be a general lack of understanding of the developmental needs of young children, based on so many harsh responses.. 🤔

absolutely 👍. And if the child was not trying to be rude, his study/provoking of the words in use and highlighting Ygritte means should be applauded!! Kids need to be allowed to think 🤔

I'd have given him a right telling off for that! I am a primary school teacher.

Today I got asked 'how can you afford X type of car' by a ten year old.

Sorry! Typos!! Fat thumb.

‘highlighting meanings’, not strange made up word created by my thumb ….

My response was addressed to the parent who appears to believe that in pain and injury are synonyms. They are not, so no, I won't be revisiting my response, although you should consider revisiting yours as you appear not to have read mine to come to the conclusion you did.

Your child did well to correct the pedagogue. I recall a friend (aged about 11) pull up a teacher for failing to include an apostrophe before the abbreviation for the word omnibus (i.e. 'bus) in an assignment distributed to the class; he was incensed at being corrected. The profession attracts bullies who relish a false sense of superiority to their young charges; they cannot brook being exposed should their standards be sub-par. Full marks to your boy! 👌

Not the OP and hopefully they will clarify but my assumption was that this was a group teaching situation where more than one teacher and possibly TAs too will be working with smaller groups throughout the day.

The more people involved, the more important it is, if still needed, to make an appointment to discuss when it is mutually convenient, to establish what happened, and then whether support/clarity about expectatons is needed for any party, including the staff and children.

I think he was being rude. I work as a teaching assistant in a school year 2. I know we would all have thought that to be a rude response. In a way he was correcting the teacher. She obviously needed them to get on with their work and have silence.

He is young and probably didn't realise it was rude so I wouldn't worry too much.

It’s never ok for a teacher to shout at a 6 year old. A slight raised voice to get their attention in a classroom is one thing, but to shout, especially to continue to shout if the child then becomes clearly upset, is absolutely not ok.

Have you managed to speak to the staff today to find out if your child’s version was accurate?

And, my first thought when you described your child’s actions: the ‘smart arse’ literal interpretation, seeking clarity, not understanding the context and then acute upset at being told off (because he didn’t realise he’d done anything wrong) was that ASD needs to be considered. Just because it’s not been suspected so far, doesn’t mean it’s not worth investigating.

This is horrific imagine shouting at your colleague because they said something you didn’t like? I know it’s apples and pears but why would someone twice your size feel the need to intimidate you (that’s what shouting is and in some cases it’s abusive)

lazy teaching if your go to so to scream at a child there are better ways to get your point across and if you can’t keep your temper around young children they probably shouldn’t be teaching

my school years were ruined by shouty teachers (late Autistic diagnosis) and I repeatedly nearly wet myself through fear of being shouted out - please don’t let your son suffer this fate I am still an anxious wreck around authority figures even now 40 years later

The teacher was not incorrect. ‘In pain’ and ‘injured’ are not the same thing. Injuries often cause pain, but you can be in pain without being injured and (occasionally) injured without being in pain.