Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

If it were my DS I’d tell him:

• Good he thought about it and he made a fair point. Though pain and injury can be different. You can have pain without being injured (e.g. migraine).

• But when the teachers are trying to be firm with others kids, it’s best not to challenge or correct them in that moment. Can be a bit inappropriate and seem disrespectful.

• And if a teacher shouted at him, then that teacher obviously doesn’t know how to be firm without losing control, and that’s not great. It’s disrespectful to shout at people. Though sometimes teachers have to raise their voice if a class is noisy.

• But he shouldn’t take it personally or let it worry him. It’s the teacher’s problem.

Then, ask the school to describe what happened to you, as it upset your son and it’ll help you to support him to get their take.

He’s only 6. I can’t imagine an explanation that’d warrant shouting. If they admit shouting, I’d be concerned.

I’d also be concerned about the original comment. As your son has illustrated, 6 year olds can take things very literally, and another child may sit in class feeling sick, confused or sad in silence because it wasn’t on the list. Inappropriate.

If the teacher has said ‘I don’t want to hear from you….’ Then I’m guessing, she has been trying to teach a lesson and keeps getting interrupted.
I’ve had it a million times before. I have 1 hour to teach a lesson and have to keep stopping because someone wants to tell me that it is their birthday in 46 days or they went to McDonalds last night. It’s funny when you hear the story, but extremely frustrating when you’re the teacher.
That being said, I would never berate a child, let alone to the point of them crying and I would absolutely speak to the teacher to find out what happened if I were in your shoes.

No..if he was being a smart arse he wouldnt be so upset.

I don't think it was rude, may be cheeky and smart but didn't deserve to be shouted at to make him so upset.

Well I think we can all reassure you that he was being a smart arse and did get a deserved ticking off and there's really no need to bother the teacher for clarification. Tell him in future if the teacher has asked for them to be quiet and not bother her with anything unimportant then that definitely includes any unnecessary pedantic commentary from him.

His pride is hurt, that's all. He'll get over it and think twice before blurting something out next time. It may seem harsh to him, but if the teacher indulges every child that wants to interject with something, she'll never get a day's teaching done. You need to sit him down and explain that, not automatically assume that he's being unfairly treated. If she was a bit sharp with him then it's probably because he's got form for this (being an annoying know-all) and she's getting irritated by it.

Sounds more like a class of children are not used to being told No and think that anyone having the audacity to even slightly raise their voice is 'shouting'. They can then go home and give an exaggerated version of events knowing that their mummy will believe what they say and spend a lot of time asking random strangers for their opinion on a 3rd or 4th hand description.

I struggle to understand how this would not be seen as rude and how you could not see it as such. The only kids I’ve ever had nitpick the specifics of things I say in a non-intentionally rude way have normally been neurotypical. It doesn’t mean he is a rude child. He may have thought she was joking around and misjudged it. But in my experience most children don’t put their hand up and nitpick on things especially when just having been given an explicit instruction to be quiet.

I can remember, at a very young age (maybe 5 or 6), when I'd done something or other, saying to my mum: "Don't shout at me", when I was being told off. And she would say, puzzled, "I'm not shouting at you". But, at that age - and I distinctly remember this - I could not distinguish between being reprimanded about something I'd done wrong and "being shouted at". To me at that age, they were the same thing. Although, clearly, they aren't. Just saying.

Yes, the whole concept of asking random strangers on the internet for opinions should be abolished. 🙄
Why are you here then if not to offer an opinion? 🤣

Yeah this. I could imagine a teacher saying that to a bunch of rowdy teenagers but six year olds (his comment was pretty smart, though)?

I suspect he was showing off more than trying to amuse people.

Can someone please explain to me why someone taking things literally means

1. you ignore being told not to speak unless certain conditions apply

2. you think pain and injury are the same

He was embarrassed.

This is exactly the type of comment my youngest son would have made. At toddler group during a presentation of the elephant song (….but goodness gracious what a long nose) He piped up “Actually it’s a trunk not a nose” diagnosed with ADD and ASD at 6

What's the problem with learning to sit in silence sometimes?

No one is claiming the terms are synonymous, however their meanings overlap and it is this failed distinction that the child so skilfully picked up on, to the humiliation of this awful member (mot juste) of staff.

Because shouting, or advocating for the shouting at children, a 6 year old to precise, definitely won't have implications for mental health right 🤡

Your child wasn’t told off for pointing out the similarity between pain / injury. It’s back chat, and back chat when a teacher is specifically asking for quiet is particularly cheeky so yes, the teacher needed to be firm. Think of the long-term picture. Children get bolder and more of them do it as it’s not punished. Then, in a few years, secondary teachers are the ones who have to deal with classrooms full of older, even cheekier kids who grin as they are rude to them. All pupils of all ages should be quiet when asked to be by staff - unless injured or in pain etc etc.

You really have no context. It’s upsetting to see our children upset but everyone thinks their child is sensitive, incapable of backchat and different from other children. You should nust ask what happens when you see the teacher tomorrow.

You seem to be trying to impress with overly ornate language. The child wasn’t skilful, the two don't overlap enough for his comment to make sense - how would that humiliate a teacher?

He's 6 ...

This is exactly it. It sounds like the OP is automatically pandering to her DS and wants to makes excuses for him. How do we expect children to learn and grow, if we don’t let them? If we constantly interject and justify, against the very people who are responsible for teaching our children. I remember my teachers were actually HORRIBLE- nothing like the teachers today.

That’s old enough. Honestly.

They probably are fed up constantly being interrupted.

He was cheeky.