Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

The two posts to which I was responding say that the teacher is wrong, indeed a bastard, for asking for quiet.
And not even the OP says any screaming happened. Shouting after a child has realised their error (or at all really) isn’t good. But as I, and several others, have said - it’s entirely possible no shouting happened.

Do you seriously think that a teacher in an infant school screams at a child? Have you worked in an infant school?

The teacher wasn’t imprecise and didn’t make a factual error. In pain and injured are not in any way the same thing (though injury may well cause pain). The child didn’t ask for clarification. He tried to tell the teacher she was wrong, and not ‘kindly’ either.
The instruction was to be quiet and not disturb the teacher. He didn’t do that, so it’s pretty clear the reason he was in trouble.

There’s nothing wrong with raising your voice. Children laugh at and disrespect adults who use wishy washy voices.

Try leading a class of cheeky 6 year olds yourself and see how much you can get done without ever using an authoritative voice. Good luck with that!

If you hurt yourself you would be in pain......

I disagree that this approach is best. Your child might be the exception but many, if not most, children of that age respond best to strong boundaries and a clear message when they’ve acted inappropriately. The teacher wasn’t wrong, we will never know the full story but more than likely the child was being a smart arse, and even if he wasn’t, either way it’s a lesson in when he needs to respect instructions and authority. I despair of the current generation of kids growing up with no resilience and thinking the world revolves around them due to gentle / permissive parenting.

Looking forward to OP coming back to update us with the outcome of her discussion with the teacher.

The teacher will barely remember it, with everyone going on.

'Oh yes, I did ask little smart arse jnr to be quiet. No, I didn't shout or scream'

🍿 Me too! 🍿

Lol at the idea of explaining fully to every child one at a time in a class of 28

If we don’t explain why, how do children actually learn real boundaries? Just saying you did something wrong is how we train dogs. Even with babies and toddlers, explaining lays the foundation for understanding.

And, we have OP's son joining the thread.

As a child, I remember the deputy head interrupting another teacher's story time with "what do you think you're doing, you horrid little boy? Go and stand on one of Mrs X's tables!" I hadn't even noticed what this boy had done (probably whispering), and he was one of those who got told off all the time. I thought Mrs X didn't seem too happy as this boy dutifully stood on a table.

In the 1980s, it was normal for teachers to talk to children in that way, humiliating them in front of the whole class, or even the whole school. I'm not sure whether it's a good thing or not: children knew where they stood. I remember the same deputy head doing a Trunchbullesque march around the classroom, throwing more than half the children's books on the floor, then she made them stand at the front and hold them up. Their crime? They had written the word "kitten" in their books after the deputy head had written it on the board, but not actually told us to write it. I also remember that when two boys messed about in assembly, a pushchair was wheeled in, and the boys asked if they would like to sit in it, as they were behaving like babies; they solemnly shook their heads. It also meant that they got a lot of attention for misbehaving.

There was a shouty supply teacher at my dc's primary school. A parent who'd been helping in another class was walking down the corridor, overheard the teacher shouting and went and got the Head, who went to listen. She went in the class, relieved the teacher of her duty and sent her packing.

No teacher should be shouting at 6 year-olds.

They are there to learn and they argued with the teacher, then got told off and cried, sounds like they have no boundaries at home, so not use to getting told off.

Others are missing out on learning whilst the teacher deals with children who are unable to follow simple rules.

Where does the OP say her son was screamed at?! You're just inventing a narrative now.

😂😂😂 you've got me!! 6 years old and joining Mumsnet

Now who wants to join me on Roblox?

Do you accept backchat from your son? If so, I can see why he would be surprised that the teacher didn’t like it. It was cheek, plus correcting an adult, so he was reprimanded for it.

The teacher did him a favour actually.

Definitely bring it up with the teacher... all those saying he is a smart ass ... lhe is 6 for God's sake .

@bruffin 'realistic' according to what? Certainly not developmental psychology

Kid was being a kid. There’s no need to scare a 6 year old so much shouting at them that they’re still crying hours later.

I thought “kids should be seen and not heard” died out years ago but I guess not.

As an EYT, I would never say this to any child. If I wanted quiet I would find a child appropriate way to say it. You can’t scare children into submission.

I actually think the teachers “in pain or injured” comment was out of line. Firstly I could guarantee one of my daughters would have pointed the same think out, she was late diagnosed as autistic but we had quite a few instances where she would state the mistakes others were making.

Also Teachers are there to support and guide our kids not threaten them into silence. What if he needed help with his work? Should he just struggle alone?

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I think you have to take it with a pinch of salt. Even the nicest of children can exaggerate or take things out of context. Alternatively the teacher might have been having a bad day. It does sound like a strange comment to make in the first place though and I hope he has misunderstood. I would query it and get more info, but tread lightly in case there has been a misunderstanding.

I highly doubt it was a 2 minute shout. Stand still and count to 120, can you imagine someone shouting for that period of time. I would say most of the class would have been in tears if that had happened. A 6 yr old has no concept of time and wouldn’t know what 2 minutes actually is. Plus children embellish!

I work in Year 2 and yes, they need to be silent sometimes, actually more than sometimes. I can assure you that as soon as one voice starts going, they all go and it soon reaches playground level unless nipped in the bud.

There is a leap from Year 1-2. Less play, more structured learning and sadly, much higher expectations so he may be feeling the pressure of that too.

I hope he feels more settled soon.

I would tell a child off on a play date who talked to me like that, let alone if I was at work and trying to teach a class. He’s v rude, and entitled. I’m very careful to pull my son up when he talks to women like that - they all will try it.