Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

in my experience small children don't tend to cry at bedtime over things that didn't happen

Op why don't you ask one of the other children, rather than going straight to the teacher? You might get the middle ground version then.

Not saying the teacher wasn't stern or their voice didn't raise above a normal level, but I don't believe they were shouting (or screaming, as some of the more hyperbolic PP have claimed). In my experience kids will often say shouting to describe a grown up talking loudly.

@MotherMary14 Perhaps but still OP should investigate and make it know how distressed her DS is because of the situation

Id feel undermined, would be interesting to know what she/he thinks.

I keep seeing this ‘asking a question’, ‘looking for clarification’ comment. Look at the OP. he didn’t ask a question. He tried to tell the teacher she was wrong, when she wasn’t. He was absolutely trying to show the teacher up, most likely for a laugh. If he’d asked it as a question he’d have said so to defend himself and the OP would have said so.

I don't see walking in to another teachers lesson and shouting as supportive, exactly the opposite in fact. Id look at the teacher and ask her if everything was ok.

That was the point I was making! A teacher friend said that the worst offender for thinking she could 'have a little word' every day was a doctors' receptionist who took offence when asked to ring and make an appointment to take her litany of complaints to the Head.

And for all we know that has happened - colleagues do know each other well and support each other. We have the (second hand) story of a 6 year old who has shown little awareness of the situation - do we really think he would pick up on subtle words or body language between two adults, or has related it to his mum the OP.

Kids don't view a cross/assertive tone is shouting because they've never been told no at home. They view it as shouting because they've not been shouted at. Which is how it should be. Let's not normalize shouting at six year olds.

The point is that they in all likelihood haven’t been shouted at though. I don’t have primary experience, but teens often said I’d shouted at them when I’d spoken in a normal voice but firmly and saying something they didn’t like.

Some teachers are complete badtards

Maybe the child was thinking literally but not being cheeky

Using a cross/assertive tone isn't shouting. Let's not pretend it is.

All this talk of ‘screaming’ at a six year old! You can tell the posters who have never worked in a school!
I have. For many years.
Teaching staff sometimes need to use a firm assertive voice when children are misbehaving or whatever.
I once heard lots of messing about in the toilets (yr1 & 2’s in there. Went to have a look and one child was looking under the cubicle door and subsequently, the other kids were copying and doing the same. Kids being spied on were getting upset. Huge safeguarding issue. I used a firm voice to tell the children that it was totally inappropriate and took the ringleader to her class teacher and the other children to theirs. Cue the tears and apologies. Left the child with their teacher.
Child spoken to and explained it was inappropriate blah blah blah. End of.
The next day, the mother asked to speak to me and said how upset her child was and they were scared to come into school because I’d shouted at them (I didn’t) and that I should apologise to them! For being told not to look under toilet cubicle doors when others are using the toilet!
How about you tell your child that that behaviour is totally unacceptable?!!!
It’s parents like this that are resulting in school staff leaving in droves (I have) and children thinking they can do what on earth they like with no consequences.

He was wrong but maybe he is a smart alec and the school is strict.

DISCLAIMER I'm going to assume that things happened as you/your child say.
Obviously you need to ask the teachers and get a clear picture of what happened.

But taken at face value, another teacher entering the room and shouting at a 6-year-old sounds like a bullying pile-on to me, and would be frightening to a small child.
A decent teacher would make a little joke of it, and/or spend a couple of minutes on why and how in pain and injured are the same and how they're not, rather than shut down a kid's thoughts and opinions on it.

It’s a variation on ‘Don't disturb me unless it’s urgent, because I’m doing something that needs concentration’. The last bit had probably already been explained, that sounds like a final plea for good behaviour. I don’t see it as being a bastard to ask for quiet to help another pupil/group of pupils.
I mean, if it was so she could sit and have her cuppa in peace mid lesson you might have a point, but I’m fairly sure that’s not the case…

It didn’t need saying out loud when the instruction was clear - don't disturb me unless it’s urgent. It wasn’t a question.

@cardibach teens are very different from 6 year olds. Teens have agenda's 6 year olds are children barely in school yet. You're comparing Apples with Watermelons

Sounds like a miserable class where the teacher is struggling to control the kids.

@cardibach no one is saying the teacher can't ask for quite or silent working.

Its the screaming at a child and continuing to scream when they are crying saying they are sorry......... that's a real issue

I have a Sheldon type child.

The way we would handle this at home is to talk about how teachers are human and make mistakes. They say things that are imprecise. Sometimes they make factual errors when teaching. We have to learn when to say something and when not to say something. If she is confused, it is always ok to ask for clarification. If the teacher had made a mistake in a lesson, it is acceptable to kindly point that out because that is important. If she doesn’t need clarification though and it isn’t part of a lesson, she should wait.

Honestly, this kind of respect and conversation is the best way to communicate with her and the best way to get her to understand. Instead of telling her off, treating her like a person and explaining why will create a lasting change in behavior. Simply saying she did something wrong without explaining creates an adversarial situation, causes upset, and accomplishes nothing.

This kind of communication is critical for children like mine, but I honestly don’t understand why it isn’t the default for all children. Explaining why a behavior is a problem is much more useful than telling a child to stop.

Primary teachers have said the same. Children perceive a telling off as shouted even when it isn’t.