Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

If a child made a cheeky comment like the OP did they’d be put on the first stage of our behaviour management system. If you read the OP though it was another teacher that overheard and shouted at the child.

So you think teachers leaving en masse is the solution? Oh, hang on, that's already happening. Teacher recruitment and retainment are at historically low levels. If it carries on at this trajectory, by the time the current Reception cohort reaches secondary, it will be so bad that class sizes will be far greater than 30 and specialist subjects will disappear because there won't be any teachers trained in them.

I am so thankful my DD left school this year for good!

I can see how this could be construed as cheeky but for another child, this is just literal.

The teacher sounds quite draconian.

All that said, we don't really know the context or the atmosphere of the classroom at the time, so all of these things are open to interpretation.

The whole point is that he had been told not to interrupt (presumably so he could get on with his work and she could help a group).
The whole class do not need to stop learning so that one can 'explore the teachers words'.
At home that would be fine. At break that would be fine. In learning time that is not fine.
She had just set a clear boundary and your son broke it immediately to chat back/explore her wording (whichever way you view it).
I would love to see you try and teach a group of 30!kids whilst they all shout out to explore your wording !!

Is get over it aimed at me? Because it was another poster talking about 'being spoken to like shit all day' when a young child is being a bit rude, not me.

Well, I do see that. My kid was very upset when her teacher told her to stop plaiting her hair whilst she was talking, and my kid thought that meant she should undo the plait and then got shouted at again because she was still playing with her hair. She was upset because she wasn't trying to be naughty. I had a chat with her about how the teacher probably meant "stop playing with your hair" and that it was just one of those things and sometimes you have to accept that misunderstandings and tiny injustices will happen but they're survivable.

The fear my daughter had was that the teacher now hated her, and my response to that was to reassure her that for the teacher this was probably one of a million similar interactions in a class of 27 and she wouldn't even remember it tomorrow. I didn't hear anything about it again after that. So I do agree that maybe some parents need to help their kids to weather these small setbacks and I can imagine that some of them come in with all guns blazing.

He is 6!! He was juat sharing his thought. For an older kids its a smart comment at 6 its sharing an opinion. If i was the teacher i would find it hard not laugh tbh. And if he is over sensitive that needs nuture and kindness. No 6 year old should be in tears over saying a badly timed sentence. Firm tellings off are for violence, bullying, repeatedly doing what you shouldnt be (continual talking or not working). Not for puting his hand up sharing his (correct) opinion and apologising when he is told is was rude. Especially with an over sensitive child. I feel a bit sad reading that. Some teachers shouldnt be teachers. No need for that. She could have responded "fair point as i was saying...". They are 6. She never would have responded that way to an adult. Kids need respect too. In an usually well behaved kind well mannered 6 year old, the teacher she have recognised that at his young age that was not deliberate. I was a sensitive child and still recall my teacher losing it over not very much in p3. Its not ok.

You really would need the other perspective.

If I told my kids at that age, in a calm but stern voice, that they had behaved badly and I was disappointed in them, they would describe that as being told off and shouted at.

I would have been quite cross with him in that scenario.

I currently teach year 1 but have also taught year 2.

Yes children need to learn to have periods of concentration and quiet but if I’d have spoken to any class in my school like that in front of the head he’d be appalled

And categorically the only time I’ve ever shouted is to be heard over children playing.

I agree with pp that the teacher doesn’t sound good but an ask about the incident at drop off is worthwhile to get the full story

Im absolutely amazed at parents on this thread who think a 6 year old should suck it up.

Any good teacher of this age group would know how literally young kids take things and be quite happy to answer the question in the spirit it was asked.

Just wondering is there a possibility your child is neurodiverse - as this sounds like a very genuine comment and ND kids see the world a little differently. To me, the comment sounds like a child’s genuine curiosity in any case and not rude! Even if he had been ‘cheeky’, teachers cannot bully children. That’s not the same as discipline. I would be having a strong word with the teacher and their boss. Hope your son is ok.

Me too. The whole system needs starting again from the beginning.

Strange thread this. Yes we don't really know what's happened but a telling off shouldn't be delivered in a way that makes the child cry, twice.

OP it's difficult to do something about this, but I'd ask for the teacher's side and keep a close eye on how ds feels about school. Hope tjings get better.

Obviously you need a calm chat with the teacher about what happened - don’t be surprised if a 6 year old has embellished his version.
He was being cheeky/rude and hopefully a lesson has been learned - but not the lesson of if I cry mum will be on my side.
The teacher could have any number of genuine reasons to say what she did. She drew a line in the sand and your son chose to cross it - he deserved a reprimand but he also now knows that if he gets upset enough it will get him lots of attention.

So does that require shouting at a six year old until they cry?

This makes no sense at all.

If little chap is taking things so literally, he'd have stayed quiet as he was neither injured, needed the loo nor was he in pain.

There are some children who find it hard to follow the teacher's instructions. It's up to his parents to support him with being ready for learning.

He was rude and got told off
He obviously wasnt all distraught at pick up when dh picked him up and chat to the teacher
Honestly op I think he is playing on your sympathy

And if he was a clever cheeky chap, he'd said he needs the loo or is in pain😂
But no, he was just disruptive without any wit or charm.

I had a great primary school experience as a child I the 70s. Our headteacher taught my class (wonderful days when heads still had time to do this). He had a very dry sense of humour and I remember him regularly saying as a mock threat “I’ll have your guts for garters” or “I’ll have your ears for souvenirs “. If someone was off school he’d even say “Well, I hope it’s nothing trivial!”

We learned a lot of vocabulary and to appreciate gentle sarcasm and exaggeration for humorous effect.

I’d prefer a teacher with a bit of something about them - a bit of character- rather than an Ofsted-programmed android who never strayed from the official script in their utterances. Of course we don’t even know if this little boy’s version of what happened reflects reality but I’d cut the teacher some slack. I like her exaggeratedly-worded request - good for her for being a human being.

God, school must be mighty dull these days.

I didn’t ascribe it to you - it was a general observation about others’ comments based on your comment.

Name change but one time I was amused about what my DS5 had just said and told him, you are so literal, and he replied "I'm not literal, I'm Alfie!" This is something my DS would ask in class too, the fact that he raised his hand suggests he wasn't being cheeky as he was literally asking permission to speak! I would definitely have a word.

My DS is in year 1 and really struggling this year as its a big step change from reception. (ridiculous amounts of homework IMHO too!) I'm sorry the teacher is stressed out but she shouldn't be shouting at the kids at the drop of a hat. Xx

I think it’s a cheeky response too but it’s only cheeky if he understood that it was cheeky. If he didn’t then the teacher should have explained why it was inappropriate to say what he did and was essentially back chatting. I agree pain and injury is too different things but to a child pain and injury could be seen as the same thing they are only little still.

my son has just gone up to year 2 and is finding It stricter, they are also learning to have more quiet times. But again this is learning new situations and they won’t get it right all the time and I think unless they understand and then being naughty and pushing back it doesn’t need to result in shouting/ punishment.

Yeah I might say this occasionally but I teach secondary!

For all of the people saying the kid was being a smart arse that’s really unfair. I was the kid that would have said this, not because I was trying to be a smart arse but because what the teacher said was kind of contradictory and one of the words is redundant. He’s right, injured and in pain IS the same thing. After ask how would he get injured sitting quietly?

i have an official diagnosis of adhd and autism. That doesn’t make me a smart are or obnoxious or any of the other things I’ve been told as a child. It just means my brain worked differently and someone’s I needed to clarify the instructions or even felt compelled to. No wonder so many kids dislike school these days, it’s being treated like ultra compliant clones in a factory that kills their creativity and stamps out personality.

In my experience how 6 year olds perceive an incident is very likely not exactly how it happened, and as much as there is shit teachers I’d be very surprised if they were shouting like your son said, unless something mentally wrong with them and at the point of unable to cope. I’d also be surprised if the comment on don’t want to hear from you came right off the bat, but likely in response to a child not being quiet,

id speak to the school, and not take this as read.

Perhaps the class as a whole is somewhat unruly and needs firm direction if any learning is to be done.

Your son’s response was a bit of a smart-arse thing to say and if 30 children in the class were all to challenge the teacher with such “clever clogs” responses, she wouldn’t get much teaching done!