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Original poster

Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

863 replies

partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:48

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 03/10/2025 07:11

partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:58

I would be happier if I could be reassured that he was being a smart arse and got a deserved ticking off. I’d rather that than worry about disproportionate reactions from teachers who can’t keep their tempers. Is what he said really rude though and not just a literal exploration of what the teacher has said?

‘Exploration of what the teacher said’?! He immediately answered back when the teacher had requested silence and was told off because he commented with a smart arse unnecessary response. I guarantee the teacher was dealing with lots of low level disruption and had reached the end of her patience. It’s unfortunate that he’s upset, but your ds made a badly timed non-essential comment despite being told to be quiet.

arcticpandas · 03/10/2025 07:12

Readyforslippers · 03/10/2025 06:04

No, questions and curiosity are great, but that's very clearly not what this was. 6 year old definitely know better, he probably thought it was funny and was showing off. I doubt he was actually shouted at, he just didn't like that he got told he was making the wrong choice.

Show quote history

I guess we haven't met the same 6 year olds then. The majority are quite innocent and haven't yet picked up on all social cues.

spoonbillstretford · 03/10/2025 07:12

Beccahm · 03/10/2025 07:05

I'm actually surprised by a lot of the responses here. The bigger issue for me is that the class was told "I don't want to hear from you unless..." Like. WTF?! This is gross and in my book grounds to complain regardless of what happened next, especially in the context of other stories to just be completely quiet, etc.

It is interesting how we're normalising this. Your kid is 6. 6! Being told to sit in silence is asking too much, of anyone, let alone a 6 year old and the fact that many adults here are like, well, yeh, that's fine, just goes to show how deeply entrenched these systemic ideas are. I do understand that teachers are under enormous strain and having children be respectful and not too chaotic and noisy is quite necessary. But we need to be complaining about and changing a system that makes teaching so difficult, not accepting that our kids have to act like they're in the army under a strict regime from 4/5 years old.

Anyway, beyond that, I'm sure your kid was probably being a little cheeky. But the fact they were so so upset afterwards...I dunno. Usually the cheeky kids are pretty bouncy after a little telling off so this sounds like quite the telling off...feels completely overreactive to what happened in my book... (And ps, a teeny bit of cheekiness is to be celebrated, IMHO)

Quite. The best and most enjoyable year I had at primary school was with a teacher who encouraged polite debate and getting everyone to speak up in class.

bruffin · 03/10/2025 07:13

Loopylou7219 · 02/10/2025 22:08

Some of these responses are so unkind. I could imagine my child when they were younger maybe saying the same thing not being a "smart arse" but perhaps trying to fully understand what the teacher had said and what they meant. Why do so many people on here seem to hate children

No they dont hate children, they have a realistic view if 6 year olds.

NautilusLionfish · 03/10/2025 07:14

anotherside · 03/10/2025 06:51

I agree the teacher shouldn’t have had a 2 minute rant about a cheeky comment by a sis year old. But honestly, is it likely that happened? Worst case scenario is the teacher lost their temper a bit ( poor practice but not a sackable offence I hope) and gave the child in question a stern 20-30 second speech on how interrupting with a cheeky correction is being rude. To a young child in trouble 20-30 seconds probably feels like two minutes, but isn’t actually two minutes.

My kid at 6/7 would say she scolded me for 10 hours. His times a very....7 year old. Typically it means, I really really want you to hear me and may be conform me.

spoonbillstretford · 03/10/2025 07:16

Just trying to imagine how the teacher would cope in a boardroom. I give some training and you get 56 year olds making far worse comments and they don't put their hands up.

Neemie · 03/10/2025 07:18

I would have told my son that he wasn’t in pain, he wasn’t injured and he didn’t need the toilet so he should have been quiet. I would have also sympathised with him about the shouting but explained how he could avoid getting into trouble in the future. Some children are really good at sensing when the teacher has had enough and others are completely clueless. It is a life skill that he will gradually have to develop if he doesn’t want annoy every teacher he has between now and his A levels.

Ophy83 · 03/10/2025 07:18

Where you say "he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime" do you mean he was crying all evening, or was he fine and then got a bit teary at bedtime?

I'd be more concerned by the former than the latter

Superhansrantowindsor · 03/10/2025 07:21

All the armchair experts out as usual. Regardless of what did or didn’t happen it is perfectly possible to sit in silence at age 6 provided you don’t have any sort of additional needs/ neurodivergence.

verycloakanddaggers · 03/10/2025 07:21

Readyforslippers · 03/10/2025 05:39

I disagree, she's trying to help the ones who want to learn have the opportunity to do so. Op's son does not get to stop others from learning just because he wants to show off and be rude.

Show quote history

You are entitled to disagree, you're still wrong.

You may not have understand what I wrote so I'll repeat - at no point did I say the comment from the child was the right action. My point is the teacher's reaction was professionally unacceptable.

Gizlotsmum · 03/10/2025 07:22

I would try to speak to the teacher today, it doesn’t need to be a big deal but you need to hear their side. The fact it wasn’t mentioned at pick up would make me think it wasn’t as long a rant as your son feels it was. Don’t totally dismiss his feelings but it does read as he was being a bit rude, if he was genuinely asking if injured and in pain were the same thing it was just bad timing, telling a teacher that they were the same thing means he miss read the tone/intention (at 6 this will happen). He might be struggling with the transition to more ‘formal’ school work so worth a check in with the school.

JamieCannister · 03/10/2025 07:24

Galdownunder · 02/10/2025 21:55

Kid was being a smart arse. Possibly won't do that again.

Yeah, probably because he'll refuse to go to school where he is miserable

verycloakanddaggers · 03/10/2025 07:25

whowhatwerewhy · 03/10/2025 05:44

It sounds like your son is rude and disrespectful. He’s now got a teacher who is strict and he’s finding it hard to accept his behaviour isn’t acceptable. He’s pushing boundaries and the teachers is pushing back and your son doesn’t like it .

Prolonged shouting indicates a teacher has lost control. That's not strict, that's just unacceptable. They either need more support or a career change.

MotherMary14 · 03/10/2025 07:25

verycloakanddaggers · 03/10/2025 07:21

You are entitled to disagree, you're still wrong.

You may not have understand what I wrote so I'll repeat - at no point did I say the comment from the child was the right action. My point is the teacher's reaction was professionally unacceptable.

Show quote history

But you must know as a former teacher, apparently, that a child's recollection of an event of something that happened in class can be very different to what actually happened. I'm surprised you have immediately decided the teacher definitely did shout and rant in the child's face for two minutes.

Neemie · 03/10/2025 07:27

spoonbillstretford · 03/10/2025 07:16

Just trying to imagine how the teacher would cope in a boardroom. I give some training and you get 56 year olds making far worse comments and they don't put their hands up.

Just imagine how you would cope if you had to deliver training sessions all day, for 5 days a week, week after week to the same group of 56 years? That would be a more interesting and less smug comparison.

Teachers have to give training sessions to adults quite often. It is comparatively easy.

Heronwatcher · 03/10/2025 07:28

I go into schools regularly and have never seen a 2 minute rant for something like this. I suspect he’s embarrassed because he got told off in front of everyone.

I agree speak to the teacher if you’re worried.

I also think he’s got to start learning to think about context. Unless he’s autistic it really should have been clear to him that the teacher was asking everyone to be quiet. Plus he’s not right, being in pain can and does happen other than when someone is injured (headache, toothache, infections). So if you’re speaking to school, I hope you’re also making this clear to him.

BlackeyedSusan · 03/10/2025 07:29

Shit teacher. (Ex teacher of six year olds)

Needs to learn you catch more flies with honey.

spoonbillstretford · 03/10/2025 07:30

Neemie · 03/10/2025 07:27

Just imagine how you would cope if you had to deliver training sessions all day, for 5 days a week, week after week to the same group of 56 years? That would be a more interesting and less smug comparison.

Teachers have to give training sessions to adults quite often. It is comparatively easy.

Edited
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What I hear coming out of schools is so bad now that I don't respect any teachers who are happy to work in this system which is actively harming children.

whatishappening123 · 03/10/2025 07:30

Get context. The teacher may have already given multiple warnings that kids need to be quiet

7handsup · 03/10/2025 07:30

Neemie · 03/10/2025 07:18

I would have told my son that he wasn’t in pain, he wasn’t injured and he didn’t need the toilet so he should have been quiet. I would have also sympathised with him about the shouting but explained how he could avoid getting into trouble in the future. Some children are really good at sensing when the teacher has had enough and others are completely clueless. It is a life skill that he will gradually have to develop if he doesn’t want annoy every teacher he has between now and his A levels.

👏perfect and best response

cloudtreecarpet · 03/10/2025 07:31

It seems a bit odd that another teacher coming in to the room was the one to deliver the "shouty" punishment. But undermining to the original teacher?
Unless it was a senior teacher, Deputy Head or whatever?

My children would often say a teacher "shouted" at them when it was a teacher simply raising their voice. It conjures up the idea of a red-faced out of control rant to say shouted but children's perception of "shouting" is different.

It sounds like your child may have unintentionally been rude and a chat about why the teacher might have not liked what he asked would be worthwhile.
I would then leave it and not make to much of it unless your child continues to be upset or is worried about going to school.
We need to encourage resilience in our children and this might be one of those times.

Melancholyflower · 03/10/2025 07:31

ragandbonewoman · 03/10/2025 00:03

That’s what I thought too until I started volunteering, what an eye opener that was

Show quote history

Well I know it IS the case in the school I work in.

neveradullmoment99 · 03/10/2025 07:32

I think your son was cheeky and pushing his luck. I am quite sure you have recieved a different version of the situation from your child. He does not sound like a sensitive and well mannered child!

MotherMary14 · 03/10/2025 07:33

Beccahm · 03/10/2025 07:05

I'm actually surprised by a lot of the responses here. The bigger issue for me is that the class was told "I don't want to hear from you unless..." Like. WTF?! This is gross and in my book grounds to complain regardless of what happened next, especially in the context of other stories to just be completely quiet, etc.

It is interesting how we're normalising this. Your kid is 6. 6! Being told to sit in silence is asking too much, of anyone, let alone a 6 year old and the fact that many adults here are like, well, yeh, that's fine, just goes to show how deeply entrenched these systemic ideas are. I do understand that teachers are under enormous strain and having children be respectful and not too chaotic and noisy is quite necessary. But we need to be complaining about and changing a system that makes teaching so difficult, not accepting that our kids have to act like they're in the army under a strict regime from 4/5 years old.

Anyway, beyond that, I'm sure your kid was probably being a little cheeky. But the fact they were so so upset afterwards...I dunno. Usually the cheeky kids are pretty bouncy after a little telling off so this sounds like quite the telling off...feels completely overreactive to what happened in my book... (And ps, a teeny bit of cheekiness is to be celebrated, IMHO)

The hyperbole on this thread from parents is quite something! I wish every parent was made to spend a day in a classroom as part of their child's induction into school to see actually what happens. Children are not being forced to sit in silence all day, but pockets of silence are necessary for them to learn and concentrate and teachers must employ behaviour management to ensure that happens – and that includes being firm and telling off any child who isn't keeping quiet. Understanding and following instructions is a necessary part of that learning as well. If parents think it's cruel to make children sit in silence in a classroom while a lesson is being taught then they should deregister and homeschool.

Han86 · 03/10/2025 07:34

Unfortunately he came across as cheeky whether he intended this or not. The teacher was clearly trying to tell the class that they need to stop disrupting the input or when adults are talking, and that the only time they should do this is really if its something important. He needs to learn there is a time and place and maybe should have held this thought til later as it sounds like the teacher was wanting them to be quiet immediately.
We have reached that point where a lot of children are now feeling settled into the classroom and more low level disruption occurs - requests for the toilet and getting a drink despite just having had break, getting up from carpet spaces/desks as and when they feel like, not doing the worksheets as requested e.g. doing one question and then waiting.
I doubt the class have to be silent all the time, but in our school the rule is that input is a time for listening and shouldn't be disrupted.