Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

Unfortunately some teachers just shouldn't be around children and are of the mindset that children are to be seen and not to be heard. If the teacher has said that they are definitely in the wrong job and it's the children who are let down.

I disagree, she's trying to help the ones who want to learn have the opportunity to do so. Op's son does not get to stop others from learning just because he wants to show off and be rude.

Ahh teacher sounds terrible
the 6!

The teacher sounds awful. I'd 100% be making a complaint OP. This would never happen in my DD's school.

I’d say the teacher is in the wrong job, try a prison - and they’re the ones needing support to make better choices. Atrocious behaviour- this is the age group when gentle teaching , nurturing and compassion is what’s needed to get results and also nurture similar behaviours

I’d raise it with head - not teacher concerned

It sounds like your son is rude and disrespectful. He’s now got a teacher who is strict and he’s finding it hard to accept his behaviour isn’t acceptable. He’s pushing boundaries and the teachers is pushing back and your son doesn’t like it .

Your son was being cheeky.

Exactly, finally being taught to behave appropriately and not disrupt the learning of others.

@partytimed If your son was 10 years old (and no Sen) I would say his comment was cheeky. A 6 year old who reflects on how injured and in pain sounds like the same thing is not cheeky. And he raised his hand. I would have explained the difference to the class (learning opportunity) or if I didn't have the time I would have told him to look the words up in a dictionary at home with his parents.

Can't believe people think it's OK to be rude to an innocent 6 year old who basically asks a valid question.

I have a six year old who I can see making this comment. He would be wanting to clarify what exactly the teacher meant. I am trying to teach him that sometimes he just needs to shut up. He can be cheeky but he's not quite old enough to understand social nuances, so I'm trying to teach him them and to understand how difficult his teacher's job is.

I'd have a word with the teacher today. Don't go in all guns blazing. Make her aware how upset your son was, apologise for him being cheeky, ask what happened. I'd also do a bit of quiet digging with other parents, especially those with older children - if this teacher really is fearsome she'll have a reputation.

His comment does indicate that his first concern in listening to the teacher wasn't to try to understand what she was asking of him. That he didn't think the most important thing to consider was "what does the teacher want me to do now?" He didn't hear that she was saying "Get on with your work and don't bother me with questions unless it's essential." His thought was "Ohh, does she know she said two things that are the same? I should ask her about that right now."

It's several weeks into term already. The teacher has 30 kids she needs to develop a fairly large skill set in by the end of the year. If that is typical of the sort of interaction she gets when she asks for the kids to concentrate on their work and let her get on with teaching, then a sharp response may well have been somewhat justified. The soft touch is a reasonable starting place, but we're beyond the time frame for that. Nowadays, I don't think teachers can afford, 4 weeks into term, to have a class that can't settle when asked to.

It may be that a sharp rebuke will help him settle into doing what he's supposed to be doing and that may help him start to learn more and enjoy school more. But it may not. My kids hated teachers who shouted and research on parents who shout show that the impact is possibly as detrimental as smacking. So I'm not convinced it's all fine and dandy. But I can see that teachers may not have much alternative at the moment.

Nobody said that but their are bad apples in every profession and pretending there isn't is naive

Finally being taught how to not be curious and ask questions you mean. @partytimed never said her child has behavioural problems and he was raising his hand to ask a (in a 6 year old mind) a valid question. The teacher could have simply explained or told him thay there was no time to explain and he had to ask his parents.

The boy is 6 years old! I don't aporove of rude/disruptive children but he's too young to be labelled that way. I would have a word with the teacher to explain how upset my son was.

I have a six year old who I can see making this comment. He would be wanting to clarify what exactly the teacher meant

exactly. People on this thread simply have no insight into the brains of 6 year olds. Neither does this teacher apparently which is completely unacceptable since she is supposed to be teaching them.

No, questions and curiosity are great, but that's very clearly not what this was. 6 year old definitely know better, he probably thought it was funny and was showing off. I doubt he was actually shouted at, he just didn't like that he got told he was making the wrong choice.

My DP has taught primary for 15+ years and reckons behaviour in schools is at an all-time low precisely because parents don’t like their kids being told off and the message that’s filtering from home to the classroom is that teachers have no right to be firm or to be angry. Clearly that teacher’s comment came after some kind of disturbance in class that required tough behaviour management - only for it to be undermined by your DS piping up. He was rightly told off because it was rude and he was ignoring clear instructions.

We have no shouting and silent classrooms at my
(secondary) school. Kids still think they’ve been shouted at by teachers, for some reason.

The only way to resolve this is to speak to the teacher to raise her awareness.

Agree 💯

Sometimes a teacher needs the class to be quiet so they can teach. It's no wonder schools are struggling so much with behaviour if people are teaching their kids now that the teacher doesn't have the right to ask for quiet and their wish to talk is always more important.

But... as I said, he does need to learn to shut up. Yes I can see my six year old behaving like that and not being intentionally cheeky, but we do need to teach them not to annoy people.

If she'd been trying to get the class quiet and he asked yet another question, I can completely see why she was cross.

Maybe they were doing an assessment /test?
The boy was cheeky. Maybe he didn't know he was, but that's on the parents!

Of course the teacher has the right to ask for quiet- not in the manner she did though which was completely inappropriate . And she doesn't have the right to yell at a 6 year old for putting their hand up and asking a question .

no teacher would behave like this in my DD's school. They have just been inspected by Ofsted- "outstanding" for behaviour.

Teachers don't need to be abusive to manage kids' behaviour.

Your kid was being smart, sorry but even at home ours don't be cheeky. Teach your child there's a time to speak and a time to be quiet

Possibly not the best way of putting it to that age group but your son immediately disobeyed the instruction with a trivial and attention-seeking question. If he has the confidence to be that cheeky I’m guessing he has the resilience to take this harsh lesson on the chin too?

I think your best course of action is to take this line with him - ask him to consider what he said and why he felt he had to say it, and see if can understand why it made the teacher so very cross. I’m not being flippant - if he really doesn’t get why his behaviour was highly irritating, you need to work on this with him.