Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

So you prefer your child to spend all lesson fussing about a pencil than the teacher telling him to do some work. Oh the snowflakes....imagine a poor child being told to get on and work. It doesn't go in via osmosis. Kids have to work to learn.

Sorry OP but he was being cheeky.

Yes 6 year olds are often smart arses

Unless they are taught some manners.

You probably know that there is a big change from reception to year one. There is an equally big change from year one to year two. They will be having SATS at the end of year two. Things can start to feel very different.
Maybe on this day what may have otherwise been a bit amusing was just said at the wrong time when they had just been given an instruction. He literally did what they had just been asked not to do. Imagine that x 30 - can be very disruptive

His comment is a bit cheeky but it sounds like an over reaction from the teacher to continue shouting after he's apologised. I have a 5 year old and he might say something like this thinking it's funny, no need to be so harsh on them. Definitely speak to the teacher to get her account on it.

Teacher of teenagers here and I see the same thing frequently. Some children will often comment that an adult is ‘shouting at’ them when they’re just using a firm tone. I think these children are often not used to boundaries being set at home. I also think that some are aware that the days of it being accepted when teachers really, genuinely lost their rag are over and the accusation of ‘shouting’ when it really isn’t can be used to wrong foot or deflect from their own behaviour. The latter one wouldn’t be common with smaller children, though, I wouldn’t have thought. It’s more of a teenage tactic.

OP, as others have said, keep an eye out for possible neurodivergent traits. I can imagine this comment being made rudely or with a genuine lack of awareness. Also, do speak to the teacher - it will probably be helpful.

I disagree. If his version of events is to be believed, he was being cheeky.

Because he’s 6! 6 years olds shouldn’t be taught to sit in silence, I hate to think what school encourages this! My daughters doesn’t

I can imagine my son would say a similar thing but not as smart arse. Just matter of factly and would be happy with an explanatio n that no, it is not similar becuase..
It sounds like a teacher who is used to an older year group perhaps.
Sometimes as well some kids just do not get on with particular teachers.
My eldest is in secondary and if he has a teaxher who gets him he is good, gets really high grades and no detentions. He has a couple of teachers who for some reason they dont get it each other and he is a different child altogether. His school will move them if they arent gettingbon with a teacher. Not as easy in primary, but I would get to the bottom of it with the teacher and ask for a meeting.

He is 6, I have a very strong willed 6 year old and dealing with her in this manner will not work, it's been tried and tested. I feel it's a bit excessive if I'm honest. And at that age are they really able to regulate when they open their mouth etc ? I wish mine could but unfortunately she can't. They are all different, not one for suits all. Diversity is a thing (or should be)

That’s what I thought too until I started volunteering, what an eye opener that was

Difficult age to tell - for some 6yo's it would be cheeky but for others it could be just them clarifying their understanding. Given how upset he was I'd go with the latter in this case (a deliberately cheeky child generally expects a telling off!)

Definitely ask for teachers perspective of what happened, and explain how upset he was. If he's a very literal thinker that regularly needs clarification, there may be additional needs there that they should be aware of x

Of course he was in the wrong. It’s back chat to a teacher who’s just given explicit instructions. It was cheeky smart arse behaviour.

He’s 6!!! He’s not back chatting the teacher ffs he was trying to understand in his head why the teacher said what she said

I'm surprised by all the responses saying the child was cheeky / rude / back-chatting / a know-it-all. It's exactly the sort of thing my 6yo would have said, just because he's very literal. No ASD or SEN (that I know of), but he's very literal and gets hung up on things being said very precisely. Any ambiguity or redundancy is really confusing for him. DH is exactly the same. I think that's just the way some people's minds work - they're not being rude; at least on DS and DH's case, they're trying to understand what you mean and why you've said it the way you have. It's very annoying sometimes, but it's innocently done.

Try working for the NHS ! I get shouted at by fully comprehensive adults on a daily basis for less pay !! Get over it

Seriously? This has got to be a wind up!

I think you're confusing two things. What he said wasn't rude, as in it wasn't insulting. But he was rude for saying it.

If it means he has now learnt not to answer back and instead do as instructed then there's at least a silver lining to his upset. Maybe she was being too nowty when she said it, maybe he was being cheeky rather than inquisitive and he's told you slightly inaccurately.

If you go into school perhaps the best angle you could tackle it from is to take him with you and say he knows he did wrong but he is worried teacher will stay cross at him and he just wants reassurance its in the past.

He's still only little so it's all learning curve of behaviour and making mistakes but successfully moving on from them. Hopefully it'll blow over and won't weigh on him too much.

I didn’t feel dramatic, I was literally frozen. I know worse things happen, but I never imagined small children would get screamed at in school like that with other staff around acting like it was completely normal. Woukd you be ok if someone did that to you in your workplace? Why is it ok just because it’s a child?

I’d definitely be going and speaking to the teacher and I’d be asking to speak to the teacher that thought “shouting” at a 6 year old was appropriate rather than explaining themselves properly.

my daughter would say the same thing because she needs to understand, once she understands she will carry on with no problems

I would be asking why the teacher feels it’s appropriate for 6 year olds to sit in silence, it’s absolutely not!

if his account is true then I’d certainly have some not nice things to say to that teacher!

before anyone has a go that my daughter doesn’t know boundaries or discipline she does. I’ve backed her teacher up many times and told her she needs to use respect and listening ears but these are kids they need time patience and understanding

Teacher here.
I would say your dc didn't realise it was cheeky ..he just blabbed out what came into his head. Then when the teacher reacted he got a fright as it was not what he was expecting. But it is cheeky as a teacher cannot teach a class if she has to listen to everyone's opinion. If she needs to work with a small group she does need silence for a short while. It's difficult for anyone outside a classroom to understand how difficult it is to do small group work if there is constant chatter.
I hope the teacher didn't go on a rant as that is not acceptable.

Kids used to just know at that age not to say anything if a teacher was getting cross and warning the class not to interrupt any more. They just did.

No they didn’t “just know” they were literally hit into submission, they didn’t speak up because they knew what was coming if they did. Thank god it’s not like that anymore

We weren't hit into submission by teachers when I was at school, but we had been brought up to be respectful.
I'm really not convinced we've got it right now that behaviour is so much worse in schools in recent years and kids have been brought up to think if a teacher is getting cross and saying the kids mustn't interrupt then its fine for them to call out a cheeky comment. All of the children's learning matters. Not just little Jimmy who's been brought up to express himself whenever he wants, even if that stops others from learning.

I agree we don’t have the right balance but if a teacher can’t keep her temper in check and respond appropriately she shouldn’t be teacher. Kids being bullied into submission won’t teach them anything

He was respectful he raised his hand and asked for clarification, that’s not cheeky or rude. All she had to do was simply respond and move on why is that difficult? My daughters similar she’s very academic and picks up minor issues because she’s trying to understand which at 6 years old is completely normal