Are you raising a child with dual heritage? Sense check needed.

[PoliteSquid]

I don’t know how to ask this without sounding really patronising, but please educate me.
Someone in my fitness class was talking about her DD who is 6. They had been to a World Cup rugby match. Her DD noticed the flags and asked if they were there for the rugby. Her mum said they were there because some people don’t like black and brown people like her DD!!!! The mum is white, so I guess the bio dad must be black or Asian.
Is that the kind of conversations people are having to have with their very young kids? It has shocked me. Maybe I’m out of touch even more because my kids are young adults so I’ve forgotten how much primary school age kids know.

Come over to the Black Mumsnetter’s board and you will see the kind of abuse our primary age children face.

I wouldn’t say it like that but yes, we educate our mixed race kids about racism when it comes up, in an age appropriate way. I wouldn’t keep it from them as unfortunately it’s something they will face and it gives you the chance to explain in advance that there’s nothing wrong with them, that it’s the ignorance/prejudice of someone else/their parents etc.

I'd explain to my DD like that, yes.

Really?

My children are white and yes, this is the sort of conversation I'd have with them. I can only imagine it's x1000 for families where the children are actually the ones being targeted by racist comments and attacks.

Is that the kind of conversations people are having to have with their very young kids?

Yes, unfortunately. It is something that has to be done at some point, for Black, and Brown children. It is sad, but there we are.

White and I remember my mum explaining to me that the flags in our street were for the National Front and not the same as the national flags everywhere in her home country (which is super flag obsessed).

So yes, I think thats a normal way to explain it.

I don’t think it’s about skin colour is it? The flags I mean. I thought it was about illegal migrants. I’m disgusted the English 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 flag is being portrayed this way.

No, I don't phrase things like that for my kids. No need for scary, divisive, worrying language.

My DD is white but dual (European) nationality. She has always been aware of her 2 nationalities and languages. We live in a village just a few miles from a big university city so her school is full of different nationalities and people with a variety of skin colours. When she was aged about 5.5 to 6 years old.i bought her a book called The Girl With A Mind for Math. It is a biography of Raye Montague who overcame segregation and sexism to become an engineer. DD was totally shocked that people could see other people as inferior at all but especially on the basis of skin colour, nationality or gender. We had a lot of discussions based around it and she thoroughly disapproves of the whole concept. I think that it is important to discuss it with children even if they aren't likely to be on the receiving end of the discrimination so that they are able to see and challenge it.

I have a mixed trace child and would also explain it like this, I'd use the word racism and explain what that was.

Sadly yes. I am mixed race, my children look white, but I do tell them things like that. Otherwise you’re blind-sighted when racist things happen.

I was brought up to believe we should be “colour blind”, so my parents ignored the topic of race. It was bullshit because racism exists and people are not colour blind.

I remember warning DD (7 years old at the time) that some people won’t like her because of her skin colour, that some people think those with brown/black skin are almost subhuman.

Yep I remember having these conversations as a child with my parents, and it’s sad that I still have to with my DC

Sadly lots of people associated with this movement are actually out and proud racists so🤷🏽‍♀️
It’s very sad the flag is being used like this but it is, and it can’t be denied. A flag never hurt anyone obviously. But the people behind it can and do

@nopenotplaying me too. As Billy Bragg put it,
'No to hate, it's our flag too 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Yep had those conversations in my family about the flags and racism on the rise. How can you avoid those conversations when you have racists like Farage being platformed everywhere you look?

Yes i would tell my dd that, I'm mixed and she is 3/4 black, I’ve told her that it’s racist people putting them up.

Racists are not respectful/considerate of age or innocence, and racism is currently rising in schools, so at a very young age.

It's irresponsible to send children in the world unprepared, so yes, you start the conversations early. That mother is doing the right thing.

I also made it my business to teach my daughter her history and provided her with great role models that represent her; so by the time the hateful got to her, she already had a reasonable foundation. Does it make her bullet-proof? No, but it sure as hell helps her shake off some of the crap folks would have her believe about herself.

What?! This has floored me with confusion. I am white so clearly I just don’t get it as I would never say that to a 6 year old! If it was undeniable racism then fair enough you have to address it but why would you when it’s quite easily deniable.

We have a couple of mixed race young family members and they are being bought up in a ‘white’ cultural setting (fathers not on scene). And now I am thinking are we supposed to be saying this?! I don’t think I could. That is crazy.

How come people are always overhearing these outrageous conversations out and about? In my fitness classes we can’t talk and are too busy trying to keep up with the exercises.

We have (white) children with two citizenships.
We talk about racism as it is very much a thing in 2025. I am aware it is more important to talk about if your children aren't white.

My parents taught me about racism at a young age and I glad they did. You cannot shield children from the real world.

I teach my (white) children about racism. I’m in Ireland and we have the same problem here. I tell them that people are hijacking our flag because they are against people moving here from other countries. That in particular they have an issue with the colour of people’s skin. That black and brown people are experiencing hatred against them purely because of the colour of their skin.

I explain to them what our flag means (it’s about unity) and why it’s wrong to use our flag in this divisive way. I explain about anti Irish sentiment which is mainly in the past. Our neighbour have a dog with a coat saying more dogs, more blacks, more Irish. So I explain where that saying same from and why you don’t get to be Irish and racist.

I feel like it is very important to talk to your kids about these things. My youngest is 5 years old. I don’t think they can be too young to start this conversation.

well considering it was at a world rugby match i would say national pride and as a canadian would have hoped for some canadian flags as well.
but although the grandkids are dual heritage canadian/british they are white and i believe it's pretty bland combination so i would not have discussed racial tensions at this time.