Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

I disagree it’s rude and distracting

and her boss didn’t say it was rude and distracting. In fact instead of using his words and addressing his concerns appropriately he snapped at the OP in an attempt to get her to fall into line which is pretty shoddy management.

He then compounded matters by his admission he’d spoken to her like that in an attempt to get others to fall into line.

I suspect the reason why the boss didn’t address OPs behaviour calmly without an audience is because he doesn’t actually have a good reason for the Op not to periodically check her phone

Ah, my fault for not reading properly although I guess it proves the point that it’s really not the done thing, to the extent that I just assumed it must have been an online meeting.

What do you mean you ‘HAVE to put a workplace phone number’. My office (600+ people) just doesn’t have one. We all use our mobiles.

I’m thankful to be in a job im not attached to my phone.

honestly, after this thread? I’m fucking thankful to be in a job where I’m treated like an adult, capable of managing my own attention span in a meeting and my own workload. I didn’t realise so many were still treated like they’re still at school! It’s blown my mind.

(not, surgeons! Surgeons!)

I'd duck out, school calling, any normal human being would understand as it could be an emergency. Worked in corporate all my life and that's fine ( unless it always happens).

Nope. I’m allowed my phone in a meeting in case of a kid emergency but no way do I look at it for messages- those are never urgent and usually rubbish that can wait

YABU for the (They don’t have kids) comment

I don't think the boss is unprofessional here. Most professionals know you don't scroll to check personal messages on your phone in a meeting - there's a reason that in a lot of meeting/conference situations everyone is asked to turn their phones off, so I don't think it's out of order to mention it publicly. I suspect it's not the first time. Perhaps it's been winding them up for a while.

So I think it's absurd for the OP to say they "pulled the boss up on it". They pulled OP up. Rightly so, imo. It comes across as rude and not understanding what most people would view as professional meeting etiquette, which is for the benefit of everybody.

Oh, and no, I don't "think it's the 80s". It depends on the type of meeting, doesn't it? If everyone's on their laptops that's one thing, but it's clearly not the type of meeting or environment here.

Woah, you are asked to turn your phone off? Why? Do they not trust you to be an adult and manage looking at it? I’m sorry if that’s the case.

Who allows it? Mummy or daddy? In all seriousness, wtf, you’re an adult right?

Its pretty common in lots of places. Yes, I'm an adult. Like most adults, I can cope with not being attached to my phone 24-7, because I understand that in some situations it comes across as rude and can distract others. I'd judge by the situation, like most grown ups do.That all right with you?

I think it's kind of funny that you think that's so outrageous. Like "whoa, you mean I have to consider other people as well as my own needs?" Tell us, are you kind of person who has their music on full blast on public transport too?

YANBU
Boss is out of order, massively.
Although being on a phone during a meeting is unprofessional, work or personal, usually a quick look is not a problem (especially if the meeting is internally in the company, not with a client)
But main problem I see here is that the boss picked you specifically, whereas being on a phone is not unusual where you are.
The boss needs to maintain fair environment. From now on, they need to tell off of everybody on a phone during a meeting, or take other measures if they see it as a problem.

YANBU.

But this is Boomers' mumsnet.

How did you know the message was from your child's school until you picked up your mobile?

No doubt your boss is fed up with people on their phones and took the opportunity to publicly reprimand somebody.

Own it!

I am of the opinion that it’s fine for someone to pull you aside if they have noticed you using your phone a lot, but I would not be happy with my boss publicly calling me out and snapping at me. I could never work in a place where my manager thought they could snap or shout at me. Even if I deserved it, I’m not a child and they’re not my master. So I said YNBU

Most "Boomers" are retired. Quite a few Gen X here, though, ta. Not the same thing. Have you always been this ageist?

Taking my benign post as ageist is showing your age more than anything

Op would have no idea whether the message was urgent or not until she opened it. It could have been important.

Many years ago I was in work (long before mobiles) and the phone rang. I had no idea who the caller was or even if it was for me. It was a journalist asking to interview me about an incident that had appeared in a local paper. I told him that I was in work and could not speak now. However he could come to my home at X that evening. When I hung up the boss whinged about my taking a personal call from a journalist. There were other staff around and I was quite angry. I had been on the call only long enough to make an alternative arrangement. Later I told the very boss very sharply that I did not appreciate being told off in front of other colleagues when I had no means of knowing who was on the end of a phone.

He never talked down to me again in front of a third party.

Ah but you work in health care so you don't work a proper, important, adult job 😒

You're one of those people who use their phone in the cinema and the theatre and then gets offended when people tell you to turn them off aren't you?

Very odd workplace culture IME. I’m surprised at the amount of people who think it’s ok behaviour from a manager.

Unless you are having a chit chat message conversation, nothing wrong with using a personal phone when in a work meeting.

When I started work 40 years ago I worked in a fixed office location with a receptionist who answered calls on the company land line and passed out messages written on paper.

Forty years later I work from home, travel to a shared office space once a month than has no organisational land line, no receptionist and no paper phone messages. The world of work has changed immeasurably since I started, my kids would be utterly mystified at what would have been considered professional practice when I started out.

In my workplace it’s perfectly acceptable to check your personal phone in some meetings, in others it would be considered disrespectful - as adults we know which is which. Many of us caring responsibilities - we need to be contactable in mobile because we’re highly unlikely be sitting in one place near a landline. Our relationship with our manager is collegiate and respectful on both sides, my manager wouldn’t pull someone up in public, certainly not to make a wider point about phones.

This! Also the word ‘reprimanded’ makes me cringe. Where do you all work where you’re treated like naughty children.
I’ve checked my phone for messages in a meeting, as has everyone I meet with.

The fact that you equate a quick check of a text message during a daytime meeting with using a phone during a theatre performance speaks volumes here!

Not only do they work in these crap places but they resent those who don’t and post at 2am angry someone else would dare glance at a message. Because they’re ’not allowed’

(but surgeons, surgeons!)