Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

You shouldn't be distracted by personal messages in meetings. It's very disrespectful of others.

You were rude and unprofessional.
Doesn't matter if it was child related or not.
You we're called out on your behaviour and I imagine you're still slightly embarrassed by it.
Suck it up OP and move on....

Years ago I was sacked for using my personal phone in the office twice , I wouldn’t dream of doing it in a meeting

Of course it’s ok to quickly check that a message from school isn’t important/urgent. Ridiculous replies. It’s sad that the majority think working parents should work as if they don’t have kids. Thankfully places I worked, we were treated like adults and this wouldn’t even register on anyone’s radar.

I still remember the time a colleague got bollocked for using the office mobile phone to call a customer. Apparently it "created the wrong impression". It was the only way to reach this customer because their phone wouldn't accept withheld numbers, which the office land phones did by default. That was around the turn of the century!

YABU, it's rude. A public callout also isn't the best way to deal with it, but what are you meant to do if you are not sure the other people in the meeting are actually focused on the conversation at hand. I might have been a bit more tactful if it was someone who doesn't usually do that, but if someone in my team was repeatedly doing it, I may well get to the point where I felt their behaviour was not going to shift until they felt some kind of consequence.

If an emergency, then fair enough, but some parents just seem to think the world revolves around them, including their employers, and they can't seem to filter at all. A trivial text on the parents' WhatsApp group is given the same level of importance as "your child is sick, come pick them up". Managers are human and we do get sick of it.

If you don't trust yourself to stay off your phone in meetings, but are worried you might miss an urgent call, put it in another room but turn the ringer volume up so you'll hear it if an important call comes through.

Are you for real?

Give your head a wobble 🙄

Oh jeezus... it's work, not prison.

A smart watch is useful to check a message quickly and discreetly.

Maybe the rule should be no phones allowed when in a meeting. It's definitely very unprofessional and to start reading the message was also rude. I'd apologise and hope your boss accepts your apology and dosnt give you a written warning.

So rude to be checking your phone in a work meeting like that. Different if you’re expecting a call and let them know.

Most of you sound like you work in Gulags🤣I feel sorry for you

be honest people:

How many of you saying that the OP was rude (and especially those saying you should excuse yourself from the meeting to check messages) have actually been in a work meeting in the past 5 years?

these comments are so far removed from anything I have ever experienced the mind boggles.

Do you need to be told you are totally unprofessional ?

He should not have called you out in front of everyone. That is bullying. He should have spoken To you after the meeting and said that your behaviour was unacceptable. As for making an example of you - that is bullying too. He should just reminded everyone to turn their phones off during meetings.

A text from the school is never urgent. Usually some crap about wearing a stripy shirt for a quid.

a phone call from the school in the middle of the day is almost certainly a sick kid

We request everyone in the meeting to turn off their phones. If there is someone expecting a call from the doctor or similar they give the heads up.

Didn’t you say ‘I’m sorry, I do need to take this’ and step out.

I've pulled up my reports for being on their phones or even their work laptops in meetings. The worst time was a report of mine typing away a response to a Teams message whilst on a 1:1 with me - clearly not listening. Any leadership course will start by telling you to pay attention to people and put your phone in your pocket.

For the record, I also have kids and I do take my phone to meetings in case of an emergency phone call from school or doctors but messages are not urgent enough.

Loads of them, too many, people are terminally online, but it’s the culture of the place and the fact they give us phones. Doesn’t seem like the OP works in that environment?

Yes, I might have done the same. Except that if I was called out for it I would accept it was due criticism, and apologise.

Ok, perhaps you shouldn’t have been on your phone unless it was an emergency. And yes your boss has the right to bring it up. To do it publicly, to humiliate you, is unprofessional. The boss should have spoken to you separately about it. It’s poor management on his part to behave that way. If other members of the team are distracted he needs to reconsider the meetings. It’s quite simple at the beginning of a meeting to say, can all personal devices please be put away during the meeting to avoid distractions. Hopefully it would wrap the meeting up more quickly too! You’re not being unreasonable.

Im on your side. This is just a job they don't own you or your direct attention for extended periods of time. Your kids come first always.

It infuriates me when people answer their phones etc. during meetings, so my sympathies lie with your boss.

But, if everyone’s been doing it then he was BU pulling just you up like that in front of everyone. He should have made a general announcement that he is not happy with lack of attention in meetings and that people need to stop using their phones and computers for non-meeting related tasks during a meeting. Then he could reasonably pull up the next person who did it.