Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

What text would be an emergency? If your kids were rushed into hospital, the school would not be texting you. My phone stays in my bag at work, and I check it in my break - I’m at work!! And mentioning that your boss does not have kids just sounds snide.

Sometimes the school might message if they have called and your not picking your phone
I think OP is right as this is not strange if you have kids
I constantly check my phone at work

"I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond"

Sound's to me like you think that gives you special privileges. It doesn't.

Nice to have an OP who takes comments on board, self reflects and accepts the consensus.

Very rare on here as most want to be right for the sake of it.
The very people who complain about the demise of social decline whilst inevitably contributing to it.

@WorkItUpYourBangle :
This is just a job they don't own you or your direct attention for extended periods of time.

This is hilarious!
It's a job that pays for hers and her children's livelihoods.
Of course her attention is required at work, and especially in a meeting.

If it's just a job, OP can find a different one that allows lack of attention and free will of phone usage in meetings.

I work in media and communication and often receive urgent texts or messages. Nonetheless I have to manage how I read messages and multi task in these meetings because checking the phone comes off as disrespectful. People know I am juggling and busy but it really isn’t in my interest to look distracted.

This attitude that people in offices are special and can be treated like adults who simply must be allowed to check their phone every 5 seconds in case the school has decided texting them that Little Jimmy has just lost his leg in a freak hurdles accident is the best way to contact them might just explain why customer service from said offices is getting so poor....

Really unprofessional. I don’t take my phone to meetings.

There’s surely always going to be the slightest possibility that something disasterous has occurred? & needs only a few secs to assess…
Onetwobuckeroo, were you the only female (easiest target) in the room for him to make an example of?

the very fact that it is easy to use one's own phone means one shouldn't
i dislike people taking easy option

except in emergency

Your boss is right and, I suspect, your career is over with that employer.

My phone never went into a meeting. School had an office number for if I didn't answer my mobile, which a colleague would answer and take a message. If it was urgent, like one of my kids was on the way to hospital, they would interrupt the meeting and call me outside. Its not difficult

I'm with you, until the end, because of the "just get another job" line because frankly the many people without work who have been applying for job after job without success would find it insulting to have it implied getting another job is easy.

I lead a large function in a fortune500 company so completely get the pressure of corporate life. But your boss sounds like a dick. I would never humiliate or berate someone for looking at a message on a phone, especially if it was to do with someone’s children. Christ! Family first, always. I’d have no issue with mic dropping in a senior forum if I need to respond to someone about my kids.

Get off your phone!
The comment ‘they don’t have kids’ is very telling. What’s that got to do with anything? It shows you as entitled and rude. You were in a professional working environment. You should be focused and present in the meeting. Show respect for your colleagues. What you do in your office is your own business but in a meeting it’s incredibly rude and unprofessional.

I keep my personal phone on me at all times at work (office job), it's on the desk wheather in a meeting or not because my child is at Nursery and if the nursery/ my child needs me I'm answering that phone!! It's no different form having a work phone or laptop on your desk in a meeting. Anyone who had a problem with this could Jog on. You're absolutely in the right!

Over looking at a message 😂😂😂😂. You bloody psycho!! Imagine the turnover in a company which got rid of people for this.

Get a smart watch.

Thing is we’ll never reach consensus on this thread as people have such different jobs and careers.

I work a senior role in a large London company. Checking a phone, using a laptop etc are all completely normal behaviours during the workday and in meetings. I can sit and do my Ocado shop (not in a meeting, I mean at my desk) and no-one would care. Because I’m paid for my expertise and output and ultimately getting the job done. My workplace has the attitude of ‘family first’ and I can leave early to pick up or take a morning for sports day and the like, again no problem. We even have regular comms emphasising this.

But clearly from other posts on here, this isn’t the norm in other jobs, particularly those that are more transactional in nature or monitored. It seems in these workplaces it’s still very hierarchical, and ‘Me boss. You worker.’

And I assume that those that work in these roles wouldn’t like others having the freedom that roles like mine offer, because they can’t. I’d be annoyed too! Hence the vitriol towards op for daring to check a school message in a meeting.

And again, there appear to be a number of others on here that haven’t worked in years and have some fairly antiquated views on the workplace. That’s to be expected. Things change fast.

Op, I’d say YABU if everyone at your place is called out for it and YANBU if you were singled out. That’s all there is to it right everyone?

Im very laid back and dont care too much for rules but even i think that is disrespectful and rude. End of. Your an adult and should've known better.

I would also consider apologising to your boss to show you have some respect for their authority.

Next time maybe excuse yourself before looking at your phone.

YOU were the one to ‘pull up’ your boss afterwards? Should have been the other way around, surely?

But clearly from other posts on here, this isn’t the norm in other jobs, particularly those that are more transactional in nature or monitored. It seems in these workplaces it’s still very hierarchical, and ‘Me boss. You worker.’

It's weird that you think the numerous jobs where being on your phone and leaving early/taking random time off is simply not acceptable because it affects everyone else at work (no, I won't list them again, I'll just get mocked by a certain poster if they're around) are transaction, old fashioned and hierarchical

That’s a straw man — I never said all jobs that aren’t like mine are transactional, old-fashioned or hierarchical; you’re misrepresenting my point purposefully to try and ‘gotcha’

You’ve done this to posters throughout the thread. It’s quite a pointless thing to do isn’t it?

I don't think it's necessarily sector or job based, it's probably more company and workplace based. In some companies it will be fine, in others it will be frowned upon. It's a difference in culture. Different workplaces, different vibes.

But it's not a thing you can expect, either it will be allowed or frowned upon, and if you end up in a work place where it's frowned upon then they're not being unreasonable to tell you off.

Context is key though. My workplace is very family friendly in many ways - yes, you can plan to take time off for the Christmas play, Easter fair and sports days. Yes, if you have a family emergency, whether it's kids or caring for elderly or infirm adult family, you go take care of it, no questions asked. But it's give and take, it's not all taking and no giving, like some people seem to think.