Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

And I suppose that sort of mindset has nothing to do with the fact that women are still, in 2025, routinely discriminated against in the workplace because 'her mind will be on her kids instead of her job'?

YABU

But her boss has said he doesn't want people on their phone during meetings (which is fair, because it's rude and distracting) so OP has a reason she shouldn't...

Exactly. It’s such a weird counter argument….here’s a hypothetical situation where people can’t use their phones….lack of critical thinking involved!

The phrase 'bee in your bonnet' springs to mind right now.

YOU pulled your boss up? Come
on, you must know that’s rude.

All this thread has taught me is that I’m SO thankful to be in a well paid and interesting job, where I’m also treated like a responsible intelligent adult who can spend 10 seconds checking a message and it not be detrimental to my work output!

And I am talking about office jobs, not surgeons etc before anyone says, ‘what about, what about.’

I'm not angry?

I made a post which didn't tag anyone but referred to a PP and you have continually mocked me now about that comment and chosen to ignore the context

You're quite rude

Because you seem to only think office jobs are valid

Boss is a dick and was power-tripping. I'd start looking for another job. OP may be a target.

I don't think you're in the wrong, OP. I'm surprised how regimented many PP's workplaces appear to be: I'm imagining them all sitting up straight around a massive boardroom table with their hands in their laps, listening to the elderly chairman holding court and waiting for their turn to get shouted at, like the downtrodden dad in an 80s American comedy movie. (Is this really how things are widely done now?!)

My experience across a number of roles and companies in the present day is very different. There's a varied mixture of people all with laptops open in front of them as well as probably one or two other devices, probably at least one or two appearing remotely, everyone with half an eye on their screens, checking messages, looking up information, opening files, all done around listening and contributing to the discussion.

Bosses don't view this as anything unusual, and see us as busy professionals with many plates spinning and trust us to prioritise and attend to all matters as we see fit - and to get the jobs done (which we do). I've certainly never known one to chide someone like a naughty child in front of everybody.

Oh abso-fucking-lately

Unfortunately a lot of people are in jobs where they have no agency or say, and they tend to be the ones who argue against others having the same respect. I guess like a race to the bottom. If you can’t have something you’re jealous of those who do.

(again this is NOT referring to jobs where it’s dangerous to be on a phone…sigh)

I would never take my phone into a meeting (its not required for my job so stays in my bag at work). Will check it when I make a coffee (by check I mean glance at it to check no urgent phone calls about the kids). If someone urgently needed to get hold of you, presume they would ring your workplace if they couldn’t reach you on your mobile?

No one should be checking phones in meetings unless you need them as part of your job.

What? Where did you get that from?! Was I all, ‘yay, office jobs over child brain surgeons’ or something?

You were at work. Your phone should have been away in your bag/briefcase/locker, and on silent. I don't know why you would even take it out during a meeting. It's nothing to do with being a parent - do you think a surgeon has their phone out during an operation, or a teacher in the classroom? Just take some responsibility.

Why? Articulate your last point?

We all do, and I work in a high paid role in a hugely successful company.

Sigh….surgeon, surgeon!!!

If someone urgently needed to get hold of you, presume they would ring your workplace

Haha, we haven't had landlines in our offices for about ten years. Everyone's hot desking, moving around various sites, or at home. Where are you lot all working? Wernham Hogg?

They could try main reception I suppose. Although they wouldn't have a clue where I was and would just ring me - on my mobile 😊

I work in corporate, I suspect most of the people in this comments section don't. YANBU everyone is corporate is always checking something on their phone, including senior people. Everyone is oh so important with important business to conduct 24 hours a day, or at least that's how they act. Corporate is misogynistic and they like to reinforce the hierarchy, and I think this is more to do with that than you touching your phone.

Ive got kids in secondary and primary and never had an emergency message (must have got lucky there!). If the child was suddenly throwing up/had an accident, they would have a second, third, forth contact number (I remember doing the form) and a workplace number aswell.

If it was an actual emergency from the school, I would have excused myself. Presume they would have rung the first contact several times if it was highly urgent though?

We don’t even have a main reception number. I think many people work in antiquated little suburban companies where modern habits are something to be feared.

or of course, they’re….surgeons! Surgeons!

You wouldn’t check your phone sitting round a table at an in-person meeting, and the same rules should apply online. It’s really unprofessional.

Op was at an in person meeting….

If it was a real school emergency (child’s smashed his head open, throwing up everywhere etc), there is no way they would send a message. Her phone would have been ringing several times before they moved onto the next contact to call. You have to put a workplace phone number on the form (so if its just a mobile, in an actual emergency, you would definitely know about it).

Healthcare and ive never seen the highest level managers check a message in a meeting. In my opinion its rude and did the manager not already say he was against it?

I’m thankful to be in a job im not attached to my phone. I dont need to know my childs housepoints or when home clothes day is during work time…we’re too busy doing our actual job.

Let me guess, the other colleagues doing it are male, and jumped on the one woman. Yes it’s rude to look at your phone in a meeting, but he should have set expectations at the start of the meeting, not made an example of you in public. I’d have challenged him on that too particularly if he hadn’t challenged others doing the same.