Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

Well played it’s not often people are willing to be as reflective as you.

Agree that there is a totally weird attitude to workplace culture on MN - which is surprising given the number of women on here who purport to having high paying jobs.

there is a huge amount of animosity towards women who have autonomy in their careers.

I have been fortunate to have had a string of fabulous bosses and mentors from whom I’ve been able to learn so much about leadership.

honestly if you work in a job where you are reprimanded for looking at your phone, leave. There are so many decent employers and managers who will treat you like a professional and trust you to do your job and make appropriate decisions about how you manage work life balance

The attitude on here is honestly bizarre, but luckily in my own experience, not reflected in real life. It’s pathetic to be honest.

The fact you think being an adult means having to check your phone every time it pings a message tell me all I need to know about you

That and your frankly rude attitude, the way you keep going on about surgeons and the fact you've said more than once that people in jobs other than office jobs don't have proper, professional or adult jobs

Technically, you are definitely in the wrong. But if your boss is only pulling you up and no one else, I think their behaviour is worse.

Can I ask what the number of children your boss does or doesn't have is to do with your behaviour or does popping out a sprog give you permission to be have in a way that childless people don't get ?

Oh give over. You’ve jumped the shark with this response!

Having children or other caring responsibilities does increase the likelihood that you might be contacted at short notice to attend to those responsibilities. In my experience people who don’t have such responsibility underestimate the need to be contactable even during working hours.

Some of these responses are ridiculous. They confirm my suspicions (raised by the office wear/interview attire threads) that many MN posters haven’t set foot in an office since 1995.

Most work places have acceptable/non-acceptable behaviours and in this case it was mobile-phone related. I don't see that as being hard to understand.

When I was working we weren't allowed phones on our desk let alone in a meeting.

Not great but you were wrong…
the fact you told him more about it will cement an idea of you in his mind…honor you aren’t in the run for a promotion coz you just lost it.

edit : hope not honor…

I think with the threat to schools at the moment there may well be a text sent to all parents to come and collect their children early or a message to let them know the school is in a lockdown situation but all children are safe.

This has happened at 3 local schools in the last few weeks due to various incidents in or around the schools.

I for one would check my phone quickly in that scenario.

I understand it could be deemed unprofessional but a quick glance is doing no harm in ensuring your child is safe. There is more to life than work and you would never forgive yourself if something bad happened and you ignored that message.

I do not feel this unreasonable in the times we’re living in currently.

Should be switched off during working hours. Give them your Company phone number for anything that could be classed as an emergency. And yes, I have some kids.

This.

I would say you were both unreasonable. You should have left your phone away from the computer if you were having a meeting and he shouldn't have signalled you out like that. A quick word in private after the meeting would have been more appropriate.

I can’t really imagine harshly reprimanding a valued employee like that in front of everyone unless you are a repeat piss taker who had me at the end of my rope.

Rubbish I take my phone into meetings in case my child has an accident/gets sick and the school call. I would only answer it if it was the school and wouldn’t be looking at messages etc. I’m an adult and expect to be treated like one.

In many jobs you only get chance to check your phone during a break so same should be applied to the office world. Schools understand parents are at work and can't reply straight away and if it was an emergency they would ring your place of work or you would see missed calls. If of course you're away from POW it's harder, same as those who don't have their phones with them during work.

Well, you were insulting, can't get your facts right (boomers and Gen X aren't the same), and thus not being very bright, so... if the cap fits. Own it instead of whining about how unfair it all is.

Put your phone on silent with school/nursery/any other true emergency numbers set to override this for calls (not texts which they wouldn’t use in emergency) then if they call say ‘excuse me a minute, possible emergency’ and leave the meeting/turn off camera to answer at work.

Seems like a more sensible approach.

More like you were sensitive. Own that.

I never claimed GenX and boomers were the same. You're just projecting your lack of verbal reasoning skills.

Would you check your phone and open a message in a face to face meeting back in the old days? Of course you wouldn’t (well I hope you wouldn’t) so neither should you in an online meeting. I would have pulled you up on it too.

You acted badly . I had this happen I spoke up and said I needed to leave for a couple of minutes as kids school only calls in emergencies .returned , apologised and had to leave .
he shouldn’t have been abrutp either by the way but you should know better