Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

@Onetwobuckeroo

I can't believe you even have to ask. Of course YABU. Why on earth were you on your phone in a work meeting? Absolutely ridiculous to think you're not in the wrong here. Put your phone on DND at work!

Honestly, no way would anyone have got away with this kind of shit when I started work some 40 years ago, nor for many years after that. You'd get your phone taken off you, and get a bloody warning! I get that teenagers and children can't stay off their phones, but adults, and in the workplace?! That's terrible. Put your phone away!

And don't anyone give me 'what if the school or childminder needs you/if there's an emergency?' How the hell do you think people coped before mobile phones? They know where you are, they can ring your employer!

You claim to go above and beyond, (at work) but you can't be doing that if you're glancing at your phone half the time!

ignore this op.

I wouldn't ignore it.

Sure. I’m 52.

I’m the boss and lead a culture that is family friendly.

Being in a phone or screen in a meeting is bad enough in itself. Your personal phone is inexcusable and the cheek to blame your boss… I’d have words with you if you were reporting into me.

I'm shocked at the amount of people who have their personal phones with them during actual meetings.

II wonder how many have worked in places where you aren't allowed them in the office ?

Being unprofessional in meetings isn’t family friendly.

There’s a difference between having them in the office and taking them into meetings and oggling at them instead of paying attention!

It does depend on expectations. This would not be an issue for me. At my workplace (uni), most meetings are quite informal with people occasionally looking at their phones, nipping to the loo, and so on, while still being engaged.

I'm 50 and have spent a lot of wasted time in meetings with no real purpose!

This is a reverse. Surely

This sums up the entire thing perfectly

@Greenmouldycheese Ignoring the school who are messaging or calling about your child is shit parenting. It’s the school, not a friend or some random person. Messaging and calls from them shoukd always be answered

This was a message, not a call. Shit parenting would be losing your job and putting your family’s financial security at risk, but are you saying schools now only message, even in an emergency? That must be incredibly stressful! Do you work? If so, how do you deal with being constantly on call?

Totally agree. My area has had school lockdowns. Even before that i always respond to the school when they message or phone. Nothing is more important.

That would be a very petty boss, with too much time on their hands!😂 - the matter has been dealt with.

@Onetwobuckeroo @Notmyreality

“Briefly checking” is a quick glance when the message comes in-

You see it is from your DC’s school as opposed to DPD saying your parcel is delayed.

DC = important, so then you excuse yourself from the meeting. Step outside, deal with the text and return to the meeting room fully engaged.

@Onetwobuckeroo you mentioned that “boss doesnt have kids”. That is not relevant and I would be careful with that attitude. Boss may have elderly or sick relatives or other personal commitments. Just because you have kids doesnt mean that childfree people should not expect professionalism in a work setting.

Wait...what? You've asked if you were being unreasonable, you've been told yes you definitely were, and you're taking that on board? That's not how it's done! You're supposed to come up with a series of increasingly ludicrous excuses as to why everybody else is wrong, and drip feed a load of stuff about you, your boss and the company in general that doesn't really make any difference.

I employ adults who I respect.

If they get a message from school during a meeting then it’s important and I encourage them to answer it.

or they might be a carer for an elderly relative and need to respond to something there.

it’s about trust and respect, treating people as humans and adults. In return our wellbeing is excellent, sickness rates very low and retention is brilliant.

@Fiftyandme you can still excuse yourself out of courtesy to the OTHER colleagues in the room and still respond to the school message about your daughter promptly.

Clearly I am a shit parent as I have chosen to work in an environment where I am not allowed my mobile phone on the premises

I also have some times where work has to come first, even before my children when I am there in certain circumstances

Of course I ensure there are 3 other people that school can contact in an emergency with my kids

Not being able to drop everything at any given second because a text message flashes up on your phone does not make you a shit parent and you are ridiculous for thinking it does

@HollieBolly I'm 50 and have spent a lot of wasted time in meetings with no real purpose!

Maybe you’re now in a different position to the OP, who needs to keep her job because she has kids? Did/ do you take personal texts in meetings (calls, it’s the same thing in that it diverts attention)?

The same places where they have to take a half day for a Drs appointment; are monitored as to whether they are online; they are required to ask permission for anything; have to make their calendar visible

etc etc

It depends on the message. In a situation where you've seen a message or a missed call from your kids' school the correct way to deal with it is to excuse yourself from the meeting.

If you were lolling around scrolling through the message in the middle of a discussion with colleagues and just read it by default then yes that's rude and unprofessional.

You should not take your phone into a meeting.

How many bosses do you have who had a go at you? At first it sounded like one, then it was 'their' and 'they'.

Seems more disruptive to have to leave room to read a msg . Plus Op would then miss more of the meeting. Corporate culture can lack common sense, be stifling and negate our humanity. We aren’t robots. And op has brought life into the world. Wtf has that man ever really dohe?!
i personally think as long as ppl don’t make habit of it it’s fine . does OP do it regularly in meetings ? Why has she been made example of .