Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

You’ve been there too long and got way too comfortable.

@HollieBolly I think your boss was in the wrong to do this. We're not living in Dickens times, work has to fit around people's needs

Are you serious? I’m genuinely interested: how old are you?

"Their outburst"

You "pulled your boss up"

You should be embarrassed. That was inappropriate behaviour at a work meeting and to try to call your boss on your poor work behaviour, wow. You might be getting way too comfortable if you've been there a long time and your boss is giving you a heads up about that.

In my organisation that would be ok in a team meeting, not in a more formal one, unless it was a particularly sensitive part of the team meeting (dealing with a personal / personnel issue). I think you know your organisation and what the general rules of behaviour are.

I always find the complete deference with which people speak about bosses and managers on here massively surprising because it doesn't track a bit with what I've ever experienced in any professional environment. They might be in a senior role but you're still colleagues. Quickly checking a message on your phone that you think could be urgent isn't scrolling social media, surely most people would understand that someone who's otherwise on the ball in meetings can afford to look away for a couple of seconds and give other people that same allowance.

In my workplace it would be completely fine but other workplaces are run by dinosaurs and it sounds like yours is.

That’s a bit overkill, it takes seconds to read a message. Declaring it like that is more disruptive!

@Onetwobuckeroo I don’t have kids but if I did, I’d have it nearby always and check any messages from the school as they appeared in a general work meeting. I wouldn’t however in a more critical stakeholder or eg disciplinary staff and take the chance nothing urgent comes in from the school. So that would be my compromise.

I however, not having kids, never check my phone during meetings but would if I’m expecting say a telephone consultation with GP or anything else medical related. If it was a critical meeting I’d be upfront about it and apologise and warn in advance that I’ll need to potentially answer the phone so at least the boss would know of my circs upfront.

Not in a meeting op. I turn my phone over so it doesn’t distract me if something flashes. In the event of an emergency the numbers marked as emergency contacts would flash through.

I think it depends on what the meeting was, and how serious it was. I have several meetings where it wouldn’t be appropriate but also several where there are lulls or bits I’m not needed for 100% and a quick check of who has messaged is fine . Only really you will know if it’s appropriate or not.

Your boss was wrong. All these people saying you are in the wrong either dont have children or are shit parents. Must be the same type of people who also can't wait to tell their 6 year old thay Santa isn't real.

I think pulling you up on it afterwards rather than in front of everyone is more what I would expect if you have been there years.

I think it's industry-specific. In financial services we were all glancing down at lender alertsand emails from clients as sometimes you'd need to shoot out and call someone immediately.

PS @Onetwobuckeroo Having kids does not give you priority. How do you know others in the meeting aren’t dealing with a parent with dementia? A close friend who’s seriously ill? Health problems nobody knows about? If you’ve chosen to work you should delegate childcare and any other responsibilities until your working day is over (apart from in an emergency, which would be a phone call surely?).

This

I guess it depends on the nature of the meeting but my immediate thought was it’s not a big deal to quickly check your phone! Clearly in the minority 😂

Isn't this why schools have more than 1 emergency contact for pupils. If contact 1 is unavailable then try contact 2

I sometimes wonder what kind of prisons these people are working in

I have my child’s school set up on a filter. I get about 40 messages a day through the default system. Those go to a standard mailbox and I read them at my leisure.

if my phone actually pings from the school, I know the message came directly to me or was done through the emergency broadcast channel they use. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I am doing, I pick it up. If I am driving, I pull over as soon as I am safe and pick it up. I have a medically fragile SN child. Most of the time, it’s not an actual medical emergency, but it may have been.

So I’m of the opinion that I am an adult, I’ve already screened out the updates about bake sales, and if I need to check my phone quickly, I’m going to pick up my phone.

if I am in a rare super critical meeting where that would not be appropriate, then I have already discussed with DH that he is on point during that window and he knows that no matter what he picks up his phone, even if he is in a meeting.

This. @Onetwobuckeroo YABU. If there was the potential for a call/message (eg you were waiting for a call back/message about something important), you should ask at the beginning of the meeting if it’s ok to take it/read it. Otherwise phones should not be getting looked at. It’s something creeping into the workplace more and more and it’s not a good thing.

@Greenmouldycheese Your boss was wrong. All these people saying you are in the wrong either dont have children or are shit parents. Must be the same type of people who also can't wait to tell their 6 year old thay Santa isn't real.

What on earth are you talking about? How is doing your job well (and so keeping it) equal being a bad parent? Job security equals financial security which surely you’d agree can only be a positive?

Correct

The majority on thread will be parents. I am. I’m also a responsible worker who doesn’t take calls at work. You’ll see op has conceded she’s in the wrong

@AgnesMcDoo In my workplace it would be completely fine but other workplaces are run by dinosaurs and it sounds like yours is.

Do you mind me asking how old you are? The change in attitude around the boss/employee relationship is absolutely fascinating to me.

Not very professional at all. I'm sure you boss will be having words with HR. Restructure incoming.

Ignoring the school who are messaging or calling about your child is shit parenting. Its the school, not a friend or some random person. Messaging and calls from them shoukd always be answered.

God I hate people on phones in meetings, have a tone set on your phone on the do not disturb so you 100% know when it’s “school” or “kids”