Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

I would never dream of calling out a brief lapse of concentration from anyone in my team in a meeting to look at a phone, especially if they had children. I treat them like the adults they are…

I also expected something like 'my child is on a life support machine and due to cost cutting measure (or environmental sustainabilty as that's always popular these days) they were messaging to say they were switching it off.'

My Boss drives a Volvo.

You can tell OP isn't carrying.

I get that teenagers and children can't stay off their phones, but adults, and in the workplace?! That's terrible. Put your phone away!

The teenagers are now adults and they can’t understand a life without instant access to their phones. Constantly turning their backs on what they’re presently doing, mindlessly following the next notification. It’s horrific. It’s unproductive. It’s destroying relationships (work and personal). But they’ll justify it to the death and call anyone who knew life before this shit ‘dinosaurs’. It’s unbelievably sad.

Them not having kids is a irrelevant. Why didn’t you you go off camera, either get y or turn the camera off.

Being distracted by your phone is not respectful to the people you are I. A meeting with.

You truly deserved a clip round the ear. I am sure you won't make the same mistake again.
Either you are in the meeting or not. It is irrelevant it was your kids school. You can't choose to only get distracted by messages coming from one person and not others the same way you can't put a cart in front of the horse. First you got distracted, then you found out who it was.

I was once told off about same. I was annoyed. Apparently it’s not on.

I think it’s rude and unprofessional but find it happens so much at work. People sat on personal phones while in meetings so I don’t judge you as it’s so normalised to be rude with phones now

Ps I would also be annoyed if people I was in a meeting with were browsing their phone.

Unprofessional

I disagree with your conclusion and want to speak for the other side!
You're not a naughty child who needs disciplining and 'pulling back in line'. You're a professional who, by your own account, works hard and has probably done a lot for company over time and earned trust. I don't think your boss should have spoken to you like they did and if they had a problem, they should have addressed it with you in private. Workplaces should treat people like adults, not drones, especially those who have proved their worth (but really everyone - don't get me started on the shitty ways people get treated in all sorts of other jobs).
It would be different if your meeting involved customers but it sounds like this was internal (and even then a private critique would have been far more appropriate than a public call-out... actually if anything more so!).

I bet I bloody would. I honestly have no problem with my colleagues checking their phones briefly while I am speaking. But then I respect my colleagues, know they are good workers and people, and refuse to treat them like little children. You clearly don't work in a job that is at least 50% meetings.

Professional courtesy is not making such a fuss about a text from your child's school that you interrupt the person speaking to say you are going outside the room to read the message and then continuing to disturb everyone while you both leave and then re-enter. Honestly, if colleagues did that to me while I was speaking then I would be bloody pissed off at them for being so unprofessional.

Where I work this would be fine in an internal meeting.
however even if not, your boss should have mentioned it in private

I don’t think you’d be a good fit for my team.

Disagree with a lot of what is being said. We don’t live in the 80s - your life doesn’t stop when you walk into work (just as work doesn’t stop when you walk out). The line is much less distinct and mums are breaking their backs to keep on top of it all and look after their children and all of the endless shite that comes with that. Neither of you were wrong, but it would make me think less of my boss for calling me out like that (especially doing it publicly). I’m completely done with the ‘it’s not professional’ bullshit - just another way to hold women to unrealistic standards in a world that men wouldn’t have a hope in hell of balancing. And yes I work, in a senior role - I’m clear with my teams that I expect a lot of them, but I don’t expect them to leave their parenting badge at the door.

How sad even adults can't just leave their phones alone for an hour or two in a meeting

This is why schools have multiple contacts. If there is a problem, they will try more than one. They'll also likely try the same more than once - if you are phone goes off multiple times in a row then you excuse yourself and check if it is urgent

(And that applies to things behind kids. Just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you don't have urgent calls...)

Fucking hell, you’re an adult, not in a prison. Your boss was incredibly inappropriate, don’t listen to the people on here who likely don’t work in decent office jobs

Massively unreasonable. Your personal phone should not be out in meetings. And you certainly shouldn't be answering it.

In our work we have a policy where emergency number given to employees' kids' schools has to be the office reception - who would come and get you if there was a genuine emergency. No use of personal phones allowed at all.

Check it is one thing, answer it and pay it attention in a meeting?

And how do you think those of us who can't use our phones at work cope?

My mother can't, when we were at school she had it down that on her work days that they contacted my dad, my nan and failing that they rang her work phone

We work in a high risk for terrorism environment, we are allowed to have our phones with us for "Run, Hide, Tell" purposes. We can occasionally check our phones if we are very, very discreet (as in, we shouldn't but we know the places we can do it where no one can see) and if we have something urgent come up we know about then we can let the managers know for their discretion to check if it goes off. But calls should come through to the main line (and urgent calls, sadly, have done this).

So you think only women get calls for children/sick parents/etc??

"Decent office jobs"

🤣🤣🤣

But the op doesn’t work in an environment with a high risk of terrorism where she can’t use her phone…🫤 Can people really not think beyond their own specific situation…