Boss told me to get off my personal phone in a meeting

[Onetwobuckeroo]

I work in a corporate role. I do my job, deliver and go above and beyond. In a team meeting today, a message appeared on my phone from my kids school. I was still listening to the conversation but opened the message instinctively. Suddenly my boss snaps my name to get my attention, then proceeds to ask whether I’m in the meeting or on the phone?! I then instantly put my phone down, confused at their outburst but did say, it was to do with my children. (They don’t have kids).

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it. I said ok, I was on my phone but everyone picks up / types / gets distracted with technology, albeit emails on laptops, work phones, personal phones during lengthy meetings. Boss said yes but now I’ve been called out on it, it should remind others how to conduct themselves in a meeting.

AIBU - You’re in the wrong. Accept it, you got caught, when in the boss’s eyes you weren’t concentrating
YANBU - Boss was out of order. You’re not a child.

It's happened to me OP. You have to say fair dos and do better next time. Same as speeding and paying the fine.

You were rude and unprofessional

i can’t believe you ‘pulled your boss up about it' the only thing you should have done was apologised

I think this is a poor and aggressive management tactic. If there is a general problem with phones in meetings, send a team email to remind everyone of expectations. If it's just one or two, then you show your employee the respect of reprimanding them privately.

Your boss has shown you who he is.

I think your boss was in the wrong to do this. We're not living in Dickens times, work has to fit around people's needs

This.

(They don’t have kids).

You lost me here.

I was really taken a back but I did pull my boss up on it.

And now I'm thinking your jacket must be hanging on a very shoogly peg.

Yes, he’s shown the boss
This doesn’t require private or discreet action She was the one on phone,boss right to address it in the moment when it happened

"but I did pull my boss up on it."

Is your boss also one of your children? If not, why are you treating them like they are?

("pull them up" is such a condescending phrase anyway, but when you are so massively in the wrong it's even worse!)

I’ve never worked anywhere were it would be acceptable to check your phone during a meeting or even have it out to see a message pop up. It’s certainly not something I’d argue about.

I would have just said, 'apologies boss, a message just came up from school and I instinctively looked at it/thought it may be urgent' and left it at that. No big deal really. You were in the wrong but equally I get why you were taken aback if people commonly look at their phone in meetings. You were probably just the unfortunate straw who broke the camel's back or he was having an off day.

I’m on my phone pretty much permanently through meetings. both my work and personal phone.

if I couldn’t multi task my boss would need to extend my budget/headcount to allow for the resources it would take to do things one at a time.

fortunately my boss is not an arsehole and would never call me out in the manner the OP was called out. Nor would I call out any of my team like this. If I witnessed one of my directs behave in this way to their teams I would be horrified. In short no one I know would be so rude as to publicly try and shame a member of their team.

Can't remember the last time I saw an OP respond in such a reflective and positive way, just taking in what people said and thinking about it without getting defensive.

No. Workers fit around work that’s the point. The transaction is you give up your time in return for a salary. Expectation is work isn’t interrupted by your external life

If any of my colleagues did this in a meeting I would think they had lost the plot. This is far more disruptive than the OP just quietly reading a message on her phone.

I think you were rude - looking at your phone whilst others are speaking is rude.

quite

I think it's bad manners. I don't see what's so important it can't wait til a break if it's a long meeting or until the end of the meeting.

It annoys the hell out of me when my managers call meetings and then proceed to wander in and out and generally prat around on their phones.

I completely agree with this. It’s perfectly normal in the professional environment I work in.

The suggestion to announce you are leaving the room to check a message is far more disruptive than quickly glancing at the screen while the meeting continues. People would think you’d gone crazy if you did that in my world.

Was just going to post the same, very refreshing.

Would you? I bet you bloody wouldn’t for a personal message if you were speaking. You clearly have no concept of professional courtesy.

Depends on the message I think. If it was “we’ve gone into lockdown due to reports of a man with a gun in the vicinity” (I actually received this from DD1’s nursery on my second day back at work after maternity leave) then I think YANBU.

If it was “reminder that class 3 are having a bake sale after school tomorrow to raise funds for the PTA” then I think YABU.

Sorry op but you were been unreasonable. I’ve been brought up on this by my boss before, we’re so used to checking our phones all the time I don’t think we realise how rude it is. I needed the wake up call and hopefully this will be one for you.

Yes of course you were wrong OP. Your boss is paying you for your time, therefore when you are at work you concentrate on work. Can you imagine: we didn’t have phones attached to us once upon a time? My 24 year old DD messages messages me very regularly when I’m working with ‘very important’ stuff (non emergency) and she persists in being baffled as to why I don’t respond until my working day has ended. The entitled generation - it’s getting ‘soooo old’, as she’d undoubtedly say.

I think I would work on the basis that messages aren't urgent but phone calls may be. Would never have a problem with people answering the phone because e.g. with GP appointments etc now they seem to ring at any time of day and I would want people to allow me the same courtesy.

I sometimes sneakily check my phone for messages in online meetings but wouldn't in in person ones or ones where I am actively participating.

I would be grumpy about being called out for it because I think as long as you aren't taking the piss it comes under the "take" section of give and take. But I wouldn't have had an argument about it because it's definitely something that's up for debate so if I'd been told off I would have sucked it up.

@Onetwobuckeroo (They don’t have kids).

That point is irrelevant.